


I Want It All

by Benaddicted_Sherlockian



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: High School, M/M, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-04 18:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 59,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3079148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benaddicted_Sherlockian/pseuds/Benaddicted_Sherlockian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's someone pretty enticing...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Yeah yeah, see you later, Mum,” Alex scrunched his reddening nose as he shifted on his feet, standing in the doorway of his Mother’s home with suitcases in each white-knuckled hands.  
“Oi, mister, I’m not going to be able to speak to you for a while so come and give us a kiss,” Alex’s mother tweaked the hood of his winter coat and adjusted his navy scarf before dotting a kiss on his forehead “Stay warm,” she said sternly, rubbing her arms through the cream knitted jumper she wore “and stay out of trouble too, I don’t want you coming back until your term is over,” she raised her eyebrows, giving Alex the usual motherly look.  
“And have fun while you're at it,” her son rolled his eyes, mimicking the words she’d told him over the duration of this past week. The morning wind howled past, shaking the bare trees, although it was only the very beginning of September it was cold enough to be mid winter. Alex put his suitcases down and stepped forwards to wrap his arms around his mum “I love you,” he said seriously, resting his head on her shoulder “its only gonna be few months, I’ll be back before you know it then you’ll be waiting and waiting for the end of my week off to kick me out again,” he picked up his bags again and smiled “If I don’t get goin’ soon I’ll miss the train,”  
Eventually Alex said his last good-byes and made his way down the road, he ducked his chin deeper into his scarf in an effort to try and warm his freezing nose. The streets were dead and empty, only a few early rising birds sung on the leaf-less branches looming over his head, the only thing Alex liked about the almost minus temperatures of the morning was the way his breath looked like smoke: every time he exhaled a cloud of white mist danced from between his chapped lips or escaped through his nostrils, curling and swirling through the wind until it disappeared into nothingness. That kept him entertained during his walk to Matt’s house. Matt lived with his parents also, in the usual semi-detached house with its painted door. Alex pressed the doorbell and leaned against the brick wall of the porch, waiting for him to answer. It was mostly down to Matt for Alex’s leaving too: They were doing an extra year at high school. They’d both been like brothers since primary school at the age of five, doing the usual, racing bikes down the roads, nicking 25p chocolate bars from the corner stores, sleepovers playing truth or dare. Throughout their pre-teen years and all of high-school they’d been mates, all the teachers knew of their friendship, they came like a package deal: want one get one free. When it came to the end of the school years and they’d passed exams neither of them knew what they wanted to do with the rest of their lives, no job ambition, no places they’d longed to visit (or had the money to go to) so staying on an extra year at school seemed the best step and they’d get some better grades out of it too, that was always a bonus. College didn’t appeal (neither could decide on a course) and Uni always felt out of the question so 6th form it was. Their Mothers were close too, naturally, and they’d agreed that a couple more school years was a good thing to experience under one condition: they’d have to go to a new school, being away from home in a whole new environment with new people was ‘character building’ and ‘necessary for young adults’ and all the other persuasive sayings all parents seemed to memorise whenever they wanted to make a point.  
“Here all ready?!” Matt exclaimed after eventually opening the door, hair in a mess and just an old, grey pair of jogging bottoms on.  
“Jesus, Matt. You weren’t in a rush where you?” Alex laughed at his tired eyes “ _please_ tell me you’ve got your bags packed and ready because we’re already running late,” Alex looked at the time on his phone.  
“Yes, yes. It’ll be fine, mate. Come in and calm down, I’m freezing my balls off,” Matt shivered, hairs raising on his arms and goosebumps dotting his bare chest. Alex stepped inside without complaining, relaxing in the warmth as he looked at the childhood pictures hung up along the hallway. His personal favourite being one of a very young Matt swinging upside down from a tree, the usual mischievous grin on his face.  
“MATTHEW?” a voice came from upstairs “WHO’S THAT?”  
“ITS JUST AL, MUM” he replied, just as loud.  
“OH JEEZ, I FORGOT” echoed back, soon enough Matt’s mother came down the stairs in her pyjamas and dressing gown “right, erm, tea?” she smiled at Alex then her eyes met Matt “Why are you not dressed yet?”  
“I’m goin’, I’m goin!” Matt flew his arms around dramatically as he stomped up the stairs, missing several steps at a time with his long strides. There Alex stood, in the quiet hallway alone and slightly confused at the how fast everything went in the Helder’s household. Thats what Alex liked about Matt’s house, it was much more exciting and lively than his own home as an only child.

“Here you go, love,” Matt’s mum came shuffling back though the hall with a white, steaming mug in her hands “its chilly, out there,” She smiled and looked at Alex’s suitcases, taking them from him and handing the cup of tea as a replacement. Alex thanked her and glanced back up the stairs at Matt’s bedroom door, occasional thuds and bangs came from the room until he emerged fully dressed and hair quickly brushed, gelled up half heartedly.  
“Ready?” Alex sipped from his mug  
“Nope,” Matt replied, quickly swinging round the banister of the stairs to go into the kitchen. He rummaged around the draws and grabbed a couple biscuits, stuffed some money in his pockets and picked up his own bags and slung them over his back. “Yep,” he raised his eyebrows at Alex and reached out to open the front door, before his hand could touch the metal handle his mum tutted.  
“You know the drill, boy” she smiled, Matt sighed and turned to hug her before letting her tweak his roughly done up hair.  
“My mum’s the same,” Alex laughed. Matt hummed in reply of agreement, quickly kissing his mother’s cheek before bolting out the front door with bag hanging off his shoulders.  
“See ya later Mum, in a couple months or whatever!” he shouted behind him “C’mon Al!”  
Alex laughed, flashing an exasperated look at the boys mum before following Matt, “Thanks for the tea Mrs Helders!” he called back.  
“I’ve told you, Mr Turner, you can call me ‘Jill’,” she stood in the porch, waving at the two boys racing down the road with heavy bags in each hand, red cheeks and the biggest grins painted on their faces: just like when they were kids.   
“How long we got?” Matt asked through rushed breaths; panting.  
“‘bout, er,” Alex fumbled with his phone “4 minutes!” he shoved his phone back in his pocket and caught up with Matt, “Race ya!” he stuck his tongue out as the wind whipped his hair.  
“I don’t think so, mate” Matt took back his position of first place, overtaking Alex. An old woman smoking on out her window watched them pass by, she smiled and puffed out her last lungful of smoke as she put out her cigarette on the window. The station was just around the corner at this point. Suddenly a deafening noise shook the nearby houses, the call of their train pulling up to the station rung in their ears, loud and shrill. The rushing wind blasted the noise through its surroundings until Alex was sure he felt it shake the ground his feet were racing across. Now it was all just a matter of repeating ‘Please, dear god stay at the station for just two more seconds’ in the hope that wishing it enough times that it would happen. With arms aching from the heavy bags and lungs burning with a stitch, they turned the corner onto a platform that was heaving with people bustling about: the complete opposite of the ghost town they’d ran through. A young man in a grey suit almost knocked Alex over with his shoulder.  
“Oi, watch it!” both the man and Matt shouted simultaneously.  
“Sorry,” Alex whispered, breathless.  
“Wanker,” Matt hissed at the suited man as he wrapped his arms protectively around Alex, he knew how anxious he got around so many tetchy people. Matt lead Alex through, shoving past the people like buildings above them.  
“What platform ’s our train at?” Alex fumbled with his pockets, rummaging around for his tickets once they got to a quieter spot. “Platform seven,” he read on the crumpled ticket. They were stood beneath a swinging maroon sign with a ‘five’ elegantly painted in gold on the sides. Two platforms down a slick, almost shining train sat on the tracks, pulled up against the concrete sidewalk.  
“Ready?” Matt nudged Alex, arranging his bags on his back and taking a breath before plunging into the sea of people, Alex followed, wide eyed and bewildered.  
They passed Platform six and soon found a small group of three other probably-teenaged people with big bags too, most likely students. Matt pulled Alex along, he followed them and the cleared a path through the other passengers making the trip to the train much easier.  
Eventually the maroon sign with ‘Seven’ almost completely scratched off swung over their heads, swaying in the chilling wind. The doors were still open on the train. Both boys sighed in relief, stepping on board and shuffling between seats until they were in the third carriage that was almost empty besides a young mother and her son, the group of possible students, three men dressed in football gear alongside a middle-aged woman dressed rather glamorously for such an early morning train ride. Matt chose the four seats that were situated around a grey table beside the doors that lead into the next carriage, he chucked his bags in the overhead chambers (Alex did the same) and let Alex sit next to the window seat, knowing he was a daydreamer. Every morning since they were kids, he would sit with his head almost resting against the dirty school bus windows, staring out through the glass and watching the world go by, imagining different scenarios or be deep in thought thinking about nothing in particular.  
“‘Ow long we got?” Matt nudged Alex to snap him out of his trail of thought he was already submerged in.  
“An hour? two? somewhere in-between I think,” Alex’s head was elsewhere, he tweaked the laces of his shoes to avoid the look Matt was giving him.  
“‘sup wi’ you?” he tried to catch Alex’s gaze “We’ve got a good hour and ‘alf before we get anywhere, relax mate,”  
“I know, I know,” Alex scuffed his feet on the floor beneath his seat, he began attempting to explain his quietness to Matt, but before he could the ticket master came strolling through the carriage.  
“Get your tickets ready!” he chanted, a smile too bright for such a morning. The passengers down the other side of the carriage held their tickets at the ready to be hole punched, he made his way down still smiling at every passenger and engaging in general cheery conversation.  
“Hello boys, where you two off to today then?” he spoke in a rich accent, hole punching their ticket. Matt told him about the new school they were going to attend, smiling at Alex to try and get a smile back. “Oh really? That group over there are heading your way too. New classmates, eh?” he gave the tickets back and tapped his hat, still smiling as he passed onto the next carriage.  
A minute or so later the train pulled out of the platform slowly leaving the old station until it was out of sight, soon to be replaced by frost covered fields and rolling trees. The train sped: warping the scenery outside the windows until it became but a blur, a collision of emeralds, jades, sapphires and azure. Alex sighed contently, the passing colours soothing him like they were painting him a new place of his own.  
“Hey,” an unfamiliar voice cut through Alex’s daydream “I couldn’t ‘elp but overhear that you were on your way to Fallcourt Academy, right?” Matt and Alex looked at the boy, who was roughly their age, stood by their table.  
“eh, yeah,” Alex replied. The boy had chestnut brown hair, same as Alex’s, accept his was somewhere between wavy and hobbit curls and was cut just above his shoulders whereas Alex’s stayed twirled in the elephant trunk quiff he’d shamelessly woken up early that morning to do. “We’re doing our 6th form there,” Alex added.  
“Really? me and me mates are doing the same,” he nodded over his shoulder, referring to the rest of the group Alex has correctly assumed to be students. “I were just going to get coffees or something for us, do you want anything?”  
“I could do with some caffeine actually,” Matt stood up and nodded at Alex.  
“I’ll look after our bags and-“  
“C’mon Al,” Matt basically heaved Alex up from his seat to follow the boy through a few carriages until they reached the little trolley with all the food and drink on. The idiosyncratic eye-coloured boy bought the teas, coffees and snacks and handed the boys theirs with a smile. Alex let the hot liquid inside the paper cup warm his fingers as he blowed the steam making patterns in the air.  
“I never got your name, mate,” Matt said after thanking him, following through back to their carriage.  
“Ah, sorry, names Nick,” He held out his free hand to be shook “Nick O’malley, ex ASDA cashier” his eyes wrinkled as he laughed “And you?” Matt introduced himself and Alex as he shook Nick’s hand, stating that it was nice to meet him. “D’you know what dorm you’ll be staying in?” he asked once they’d reached Alex and Matt’s seats.  
“I dunno, never checked. I think we’re staying with some other guy who’s been there since he started high school, Al?” Matt sipped from his drink, letting Alex finish his reply.  
“Yeah, er, room 2c,” Alex nodded to Nick.  
“We’re just across the hall then,” Nick hit Alex’s shoulder playfully “I’m room 2a with some bloke, Mike or Mick or Mitch… something along those lines, anyway, see you two on the other side then,” he waved with his coffee-free hand and went to join the rest of his friends back at his table.  Matt and Alex sat down with their teas, Matt pulled out his iPod and earphones whilst Alex rummaged through his bag for the book he’d packed. They sat entertaining themselves for the rest of the journey, Alex dozing off halfway through, careful not to mess his hair in the way he slept.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm celebration of Turner's birthday I decided to update a little earlier :)
> 
> I'm not sure on how this chapter turned out, might be a little confusing :/

”Al, Alex, Al, Al, Alex, Alexander, AL!” the words swam around Alex’s head, cutting through into his dream before he stirred from his sleep.  
“Huh?” he slurred, voice still thick with sleep.  
“Wake up you prick, we’re here,” Matt poked his cheek in the lovingly violent way of his.  
“Oww, alright, alright. I’m awake,” Alex whispered a little louder, his eyes still closed. Matt clapped his hands right next to Alex’s ears: making him jump violently.  
“NOW you're up, come on. Grab your bags lets go, we need to get a cab now. You can sleep there,” Matt had his bags on his shoulders and Alex’s suitcase in his hand. He began walking towards the exit of the train and waited for Alex to catch up. They stepped over the gap between the train and platform and the wild wind whirled around them. Matt cursed and Alex shuddered with a face of bitter regret from ever waking up and moving from his warm, comfortable, relaxing spot. They walked through the thinner crowds at the station and around the back where a row of black taxis were waiting beside the road, in line like marching band waiting to go. They chose a taxi and Matt said the destination, Alex chucked their bags in the boot and slid into the cab next to Matt. The driver started up the taxi and flicked on the radio before driving off: joining the mild traffic of the roads. Alex felt his eyelids grow heavy again. The music coming from the radio, the warmth and gentle rumbling of the car making falling asleep against Matt’s pillow of a shoulder oh so tempting - he gave in to the slumber, of course. Gently snoring and leaning on Matt in 3 minutes flat.  
Luckily he woke up on his own accord this time, rubbing his eyes and adjusting them to the light. Matt whispered a ‘morning sleepy head’ to him in reply to Alex’s yawn.  
“How long were I out for?” Alex scratched his head, still in the process of properly waking up.  
“Not long, ‘bout 10 minutes is all,” The taxi driver took a left turn past a road of houses and trees. As soon as he did a tall, old, brick building loomed up ahead. Alex sat up straight when he saw it out the window, he eyes widening as they drove closer. “Woah,” Matt mouthed “This is it, Al,” he shuffled over to look out his mates window.  
“Ready to spend a year or two here, Matthew?” Alex asked him (and partially himself too).  
The driver pulled up on the gravel driveway just before the quite intimidatingly posh looking iron gates leading into the school. Matt and Alex left the cab, going to open the boot and pull out their bags. Once the cabbie had been paid and began driving off another black taxi took its place and out stepped Nick with the other students he’d travelled with, laughing loudly over some joked they'd shared. His two friends began walking though the gates and along the drive into the doorway of the school, leaving Matt, Alex and Nick.  
“Big place in’it” Nick shielded his eyes with the palm of his hands so he could look over the building. “I take it thats the school house?” he pointed to the right side of the school where another entrance was situated and its roof was a couple floors lower then the main building. The school house was a little block of dorms for the students to stay in from other towns who couldn't return home after every school day for whatever reason (be it their home is too far away, if there is no one to look after them or if the students wish to take extra tutoring).  
Alex’s suitcase rattled as he pulled it along the gravel path, Matt and Nick followed him until they reached the porch of the school house. The Brunswick green painted door showed a copper plate nailed right in the centre with ‘Student Quarters’ carved in cursive, Matt pushed the door open for the others. Clean, cream walls, brown wooden floors and a long, oak desk filled the entrance room with certificates of the schools past excellence hung upon the walls. Nick looked around, eyes falling upon a little bell on the desk, he looked at Matt with a ‘should I ring it?’ kind of expression. Matt nodded after looking around for anyone else nearby: the building seemed empty. DING! the bell was louder then they expected, Alex nearly dropped his suitcases in surprise.  
“Oh, hello boys, sorry I didn’t hear you come in,” a jolly looking woman walked in from the door behind the desk, she was quite a large lady, short but chubby. She looked very friendly, a cosy sort of air surrounded her that made you feel welcome. Her medium brown hair styled in a much more toned down Amy Winehouse sort of do, secured in the back by a black flower clip. She sat at the desk and tapped at the computer, gentle wrinkles beside her eyes as she smiled at the boys as she asked for their names. “Nicholas O’Malley, Alexander Turner and Matthew Helders, ah yes. I’ve got you here,” her voice was bright and chipper. She fiddled with a box beside the old computer, handing out each of them a package. The package had everything they needed to know inside, timetables, school rules, curfews and other information about the school. “Nick, You’re in room 2a with another student who’s been here a year already so he’ll help you out I’m sure. Alexander and Matthew,’’ her voice trailed off as she scrolled on the computer “You two are together with another student, Ah, he’s been here since year seven. Any other questions, darlings, please come and speak to me. I’ll always be in my office,” She smiled again “The other new students are just settling in to their rooms now, your dorms are on the top floor. You can find your way, I’m sure. Those stairs are more of a challenge for me, I’m getting old,” Alex thanked her with a small smile and skipped two steps at a time as he walked up to the top floor (at least, thats what he begun to do but eventually his bags weighed him down and forced him to walk up the stairs slowly with his case bumping behind).  
They reached the top floor and Nick pushed the dark wooden door, revealing a long, beige painted corridor with three doors along the right and two on the left. Each door had gold numbers and letters nailed in the middle: 2a first on the left with 2b beside it, and along the right were 2c, 2d and 2e. The students with bigger dorms (2a and b) shared with three students, the smaller ones were shared between two.  
“I’ll see you around then,” Nick stood outside his dorm “A lot probably, seeing as my room is three steps across from yours,” he laughed and opened the door, Alex only got a glimpse of his room: A few pairs of black dress shoes were laid beside each other under a messily made bed next to the bedside table with a few rings on top of a stack of CDs. Nick closed the door behind him, leaving Matt and Alex to settle into theirs but just as Matt went to put his hand on the door, it opened. A boy their age wearing a black Fred Perry shirt and a pair of jeans was stood behind it, he had classic cornflower blue eyes and mousey brown hair cut into a typical english school boy do.  
“Eh, I take it you two are Alex and Matt, righ?” his thick accent familiar to them “Come in, my names Jamie by th’ way” Jamie opened the door wider to let them in. Alex put his suitcase down and walked over to the window, there was a small forest outside behind the mini car park. A small patch of the cold glass misted up from Alex’s warmer breath, it slowly disappeared as Alex went to bagsy the bed in the corner of the also beige room. Matt chucked his bags on the bed across the room, it was a bunk bed with which Jamie had taken the top bunk leaving him with the one below. Matt sprawled out on the duvet, sighing and relaxing into the thick sheets.  
“It’s only half nine and I’ve never been so tired after doing nothin’ all day,” He kicked his shoes off and rolled onto his stomach: face sinking into his pillow.  
“Oh er, you might wanna open your packets. There is somethin’ for all the new students today,” Jamie rummaged through his backpack on the bed “Tour I think, I don’t need to go though,” Matt groaned at the thought of being dragged around a big school when all he wanted to do was sleep. As Alex tore the into letters the secretary lady had given him, several knocks came from the door.  
“Have you read the leaflets?’’ Nick asked once he was told to come in “We need to be in the foyer at 10.”  
The half an hour they had left was spent unpacking and getting settled, as Matt kicked his bags under Jamie’s bed a bell rung throughout the student flats: shaking the walls. All the other students in their dorms along the corridor eventually left and began making it down stairs. All the girls were on the floor below, most of them were already at the school by the time Alex, Matt and Nick had made it to the bottom floor.  
The two big black doors below the ‘Fallcourt Academy’ sign were pushed open, leading into a large room. Wooden, waxed floors, three large stairs cases, polished windows and cream walls surrounded the group of about twenty students. ‘Mr Reyes’ and ‘Miss Mccoy’ stood at the foot of the main staircase with name tags on their chests, Mr Reyes clearly wishing he were somewhere else… his face like thunder giving it away. Alex looked over to the woman closer to his height than the other beanstalk-looking teacher, she must get along well with the woman back at the dorms, Alex thought since they shared the same kind of aura. Miss Mccoy seemed the type of person that would wear psychedelic purple lipstick any day of the week. Art teacher probably.  
Alex caught the eye of a girl stood beside the teachers, she had her hands behind her back and a smug smile on her face, blonde waves of hair tumbling down to her broad shoulders that were dressed in the deep green blazer of the schools uniform. The eye contact was soon broken by Alex, there’s only so long he can hold the gaze of icy blue eyes and long dark lashes. The girl looked to her side, behind the two teachers just waiting for the other students to join, she coughed daintily to catch the attention of someone. Following her gaze, Alex saw who she was grinning at: a boy with rich chocolate coloured hair that was spiked slightly at the back stood proudly, he winked at the girl and grinned too. Both the students were in the year above, their last year of six form. Their ties were different to the usual uniform, a yellow strip was sown honourably into the emerald tie instead of the usual black stripe. They were prefects, clearly. Alex found himself chuckling silently as he watched the boy mouth something to the girl with his dramatic expressions, once he realised he was smiling to himself Alex looked around cautiously, making sure no one saw him acting a bit of a weirdo. It was the first day, he didn’t need that. Nick pushed through a couple people to stand beside him “That’s him,” Nick subtly pointed towards the boy Alex was just looking at “The guy I’m sharing my dorm with,” Alex continued to watch the boy, his smile had a sense of superiority to it as if he were top dog of the school, you know the type: always trouble with girls falling at their knees but that never seemed to phase them a bit. This boy was going to be on Alex’s radar, he could feel it. The trail of thought (and lets admit it, slight glorification) was interrupted by the male teacher clearing his throat, wanting silence from the group of pupils.  
“Welcome students,” Mr Reyes’ voice silence the murmurs between the new students, Miss Mccoy smiled excitedly “This is Fallcourt Academy where you will take your chosen courses for sixth form. Trust that you have been in your dorms and are comfortable with your new roommates,” he looked down his mousey nose at the small crowd. “You have Saturday and Sunday to get used to your surroundings before the school year starts, the school will be open for you over the weekend _as long as_ behaviour is kept acceptable,” his stern eyes making the youngsters shuffle on their feet.  
“Right!” the woman clapped her hands “lets spilt you into two groups for the tour!” she took the brown haired boy by the wrist and signalled for the blue-eyed girl to stand beside Mr Reyes. She whispered something to the boy and he nodded in response, stepping onto the floor with all the newbies in one stride. His long, thin legs wore tight black jeans (he obviously didn't agree with the compulsory uniform but had enough respect to be let off with wearing skinny jeans instead of the usual dress trousers) comparing his legs to a spider wouldn’t be right… more like those of a racehorse. He began sorting through the crowd, telling some people to line up to the left, others to the right. As he neared Alex could hear his accent.  
“You go to Miss Mccoy. You go to Mr Reyes. You, Mr Reyes. You—“ he paused for a second as he reached Alex. During this brief moment Alex held his breath, he was even more stunning up close “Miss Mccoy,” the boy said after squinting in thought, his stare making Alex feel particularly singled out, “You to Mr Reyes and you too,” his voice trailed out of Alex’s earshot once he joined the cheery teacher. Matt was in his group along with three other boys and and group of four girls. “Ready?” the prefect asked Miss Mccoy, Alex felt a firm hand on his shoulder and a slight gush of cologne filled air passed by as he returned and stood behind Alex.  
“You’re a keen one!” Miss Mccoy chirped.  
“You know me Miss,” he raised his eyebrows “we gotta beat ‘em,” he nodded towards the other group across the room.  
“Alright, Alright. Calm down, we need to do introductions first,” she looked over the group “lets start with names, I’m Miss Mccoy as you probably guessed,” she tapped her name badge with her long, vividly painted nails “head of preforming arts,” the group went around saying names and where they were from, as if they were 5 years old at play group again.  
“Alex, er Alex Turner from High Green, Sheffield.” Alex felt his shoulder grow cold once the boy moved his warm hand off him to fiddle with the flicks of hair beside his ears, replacing sideburns. Everyone finished introducing themselves leaving just the boy who then clapped his hands and rubbed them together.  
“My name is Miles,” he nodded once “Miles Kane, head boy on my last year of sixth form studying music,” he smiled and turned to Miss Mccoy. “Can we go now?” he whinged, bouncing on the back of his feet until she gave in and begun leading the group upstairs: Miles sticking at the back to make sure everyone kept up.


	3. Chapter 3

The group was taken along every corridor, up every stair case and into every room. You’d’ve thought that after just ten minutes everyone would be bored out of their minds but the teacher - being a preforming arts teacher - managed to keep the spirits high. Alex could see Matt slowly begin to loose his bubbly-ness by the end of the tour, being herded like sheep was not one of his favourite past times. By the time they got back to the foyer it was way past lunch time, but at least to Miles’ delight they’d returned before the other group.  
“So, what do you think boys?” he asked Matt and Alex, signature smile across his face again.  
“I took in absolutely none of that, bloody massive place!” Matt scratched his head, yawning. Alex ‘hmm’-ed in agreement.  
“I’ll have to keep an eye out for you then,” he winked and hit Alex lightly on the shoulder before going to mingle with the other students.  
“We don’t have to hang around here any longer do we?” the groans came from Matt who was now sat on the steps, head against the wall. The girls they’d been grouped with left the school, Miss Mccoy following behind.  
“Oh dear, you okay?” she looked at Matt “You’ve got the rest of the day free now, as well as tomorrow,” she suggested looking around the town, seeing what they could do over the weekends during their terms. Alex smiled to be polite, pretending thats surely what they were going to do. When they got back to the dorm Matt kicked his shoes off, pulled his trousers off and climbed into bed quicker than Alex had ever seen. The little digital clock on the bedside table flashed the hours, Alex’s stomach rumbling on cue.  
“Matthew, I’m just gonna go get some-,” his words were cut off by gentle snores that derived from the slowly rising and falling bedsheets. Out like a light. Alex shook his head grinning silently to himself, he stuffed his wallet in the his pocket and left the dorm, closing the door behind him. As he turned to leave he bumped straight into someone.  
“Woah,”  
“Sorry mate,” Alex took a step back, it was Miles.  
“S’alright, that your dorm?” he looked at the room Alex had just come from “We’ll be neighbours then,” Miles leant against his (and Nick’s) door. “Where you off to? If you don’t mind me asking, I’m a curious one, me.” Alex noted how much Miles’ accent made his knees feel a little weak.  
“I were just going to look for a good place to get a bite to eat, starving,” Alex felt his stomach re-arrange itself. he silently begged it not to rumble again.  
Miles stood up straight and put his hand on the door handle “I know a great place,” he slipped into the room and came out with his phone and a wallet “I was, conveniently, just about to go. Come with me,” he gestured for Alex to follow as he began walking downstairs, missing two steps at a time just because he could, Alex following behind, no questions asked. They left the dorm house and walked across the gravel driveway out of the school. “So, what‘re you studying?” Miles shoved his hands in his tight jean pockets and exhaled a breath of air, playing with it like smoke in the cold wind. Alex didn't bother mentioning general studies, everyone had to take those, but he did explain the English course he was taking. Small talk about Miles’ music courses and general school stuff filled the short walk to the deli.  
Metal chairs surrounded the wooden tables dotted around the ceramic tiled floor of the deli. Warming smells of freshly cooked bread and the array of fillings in the salad bar filled Alex’s lungs and churned his stomach that felt like it was already decaying inside his own body due to hunger.  
“Miles!” a lanky boy in a long green apron waved at them from behind the serving bar.  
“Gherkin, how you been?” Miles pulled Alex along while he greeted the boy. “Gherkin this is Alex, Alex this is Gherkin,” Alex held out his hand for ‘Gherkin’ to shake, as he did Alex noticed the name badge on his apron actually said ‘Graham’. The nickname Gherkin probably coming from the green apron unflatteringly hanging in his thin frame and that his job was serving sandwiches… imaginative.  
“Bloody ‘ell Miles, got yourself a new toy already?!” Gherkin hit Miles’ arm jokingly, laughing as he did.  
“Hey, less of that,” Miles raised his eyebrows at the blonde haired cashier who held his hands up in defence “Only known him about twen’y minutes,” Gherkin proceeded to make the sandwiches, his hands moving lightning fast. You had to hand it to him, he was definitely skilled at what he did. Before you knew it there were two tightly wrapped subs sat on top of the salad bar Gherkin stood behind. “The usual?”  
“The usual,” Miles gave over the money and said his goodbye, Gherkin casually saluting him as they left “See you round Al.”  
The cold winds were beginning to calm once the pair reached the local park, it was beautiful (which, to be fair, isn’t the most common thing for British parks to be at this time of year) the sun just cutting through the branches of the bare trees, shining onto the unusually green grass with stone paths winding between swings, see-saws and roundabouts. Though the most appealing thing was how quiet it was, no screaming children clambering everywhere, no hooded teenagers hunched over cans and no dog walkers to be seen.  
“Over here,” Miles sauntered over to a wooden bench. Alex couldn’t help but notice how much confidence Miles had in the way he moved, he managed to make even walking look effortlessly cool with his swaying arms and broad shoulders. ‘Unfair’ Alex thought bitterly to himself, he realised then how much he’d already looked up to him. No wonder he was head boy.  
They sat side by side on the wooden bench, eagerly unwrapping subs. Alex swallowing almost half of it in one bite, shamelessly moaning at the pleasurable feeling of food finally in his stomach. Miles chuckled to himself, raising his eyebrows “Good then?” he asked before biting into his own sub.  
Alex looked over, cheeks full of food, and rolled his eyes “O’ m’ g’d,” he tried to say between mouthfuls.  
“Yeah, Gherkin’s good at what he does,” Miles crossed his legs and sat, relaxing back against the seat.  
Alex paused for a second, swallowing the sandwich in his cheeks. “Speaking of,” he began saying before he had chance to think whether what he was asking was a good idea or not “what did he mean by ‘new toy’?’’ before Alex could regret even opening his mouth, Miles smiled.  
“Thought you’d ask that,” he flicked crumbs off his legs “dunno, Gherkin thinks anyone I so much as touch I must be banging them.”  
“You got that sort of reputation then?”  
“Maybe,” Miles smirked a little too proudly.  
“How many?”  
“What? relationships? people I've slept with?” He snorted “I forget, can’t say,” Miles carried on eating, he looked at Alex “What about you? I can’t imagine you’ve had none, too handsome for that. No one has a face like yours and gets away with being single.” Alex felt his cheeks begin to redden, he looked away to hide it best he could, feeling Miles’ eyes burn on the back of his neck.  
“eh, I ‘ad a fling with a girl a while back. Never lasted long. Two more after her, those we a bit more serious I guess. Then I messed around with a guy for a while ‘cause I were a bit tired of girls after those three. Unfortunately for me he were a bit of a dickhead,” Alex looked back at Miles, waiting for a reaction.  
“And now?” Was all he said, casually.  
“No one, nothing,” Alex picked at the bread of his sandwich, honestly replying. The head boy sat beside him ‘hmm’-ed in response. “You?” Alex asked before finished off his lunch.  
“Same, all on my lonesome for now. Broke up with a girl a few weeks ago when she thought I was cheating on her with some bloke I didn’t even know the name of,” Miles laughed “I know I’m bad but I’m not _that_ bad, surely” Alex left the silence to be his reply. Miles tossed the empty sandwich wrappers into the bin beside the bench and pulled out a box of cigarettes and a lighter that somehow fit into his tight jeans and offered Alex one.  
“Please,” Alex accepted dying for a smoke. He held out his hand expecting Miles to give a cigarette, instead he slipped the cig between Alex’s lips for him, holding up the lighter with a flickering flame so Alex could ignite it. Miles lit his own and there they both sat in comfortable silence, making their own little clouds in the cold air until their exhaled smoke merged with each other only to fade into nothing. Soon enough, Alex found himself staring again, contently watching Miles’ Adam’s apple rise and sink up and down his throat, his pale, even skin unblemished with the exception of a fading purple mark that caught Alex’s attention as it just peaked out from the top go his collar. “So,” Alex spoke through the silence, a puff of smoke oozing from his lips “Who left that then?” he smirked, letting another breathe from the cigarette relax him.  
Miles turned his attention from playing with his smoke to Alex, looking to see what he was referring too. “This?” Miles poked at his neck “Ehmm, to be completely honest, I don't know,” Alex rolled his eyes to himself, of course he didn’t know who left a fucking hickey on his own neck. “Look, I know you must think I get with anything that moves but it was the last Friday night of the summer holidays. I was out to get as wasted as humanly possible. Could’ve been anyone, didn’t mean anything anyway,” Miles took a deep drag from his cig, holding the breath before tipping his head back to let it curl from his mouth. “Why?” Miles asked after a while “you getting jealous, Turner? hearing of all my ex’s?” he said smugly, tapping the left over ash off his cigarette on the bench arm rest. Alex left just his exasperated laugh as an answer, never before had Alex met someone so self-confident, it was refreshing and intriguing to say the least. A gentle buzzing came from Miles’ pocket, he pulled out his phone and slid it to unlock.  
“‘Ello?…. Yeah I’m at the park… none of your business… I wont, I wont okay?…. yes…. I have!…. god, I’ve barely left your side! calm down I’ll see you later…. I don't know when just- later,” Miles sighed “just give it a rest babe!” he mimicked the voice coming through his phone “Bye, bye, bye,” he repeated up until he hung up, sliding the phone back into the tight squeeze of his pocket. “That was Gwen by the way, she likes to think she has me under her thumb.”  
“But no one has,”Alex raised his eyebrows guessing the rest of Miles’ sentence.  
“You know it, baby,” he laughed, over dramatic facial expressions at it again as he put his arm around Alex briefly, swaying him: only taking his arm off Alex to put out his cigarette and throw it away. Something along the lines of it being so cold that ‘his balls were about to fall off’ mumbled form Miles’ mouth, Alex highly doubted this since his jeans were so tight he probably couldn't feel them anyway, not that thats all Alex was thinking about… (it totally was).  
Gathering rain began to darken the sky as they walked back to the student house, speeding their pace in hope that they’ll miss the turn in weather,  
“Timed that well, boys,” the lady at the welcome desk greeted them as both Miles and Alex made it inside, rubbing their hands together to generate some warmth.  
“Aye, Denise,” Miles grinned “right in the nick of time,” he nodded towards the window that was now flecked with the beginning of a shower of raindrops. Denise smiled a goodbye as both boys went upstairs, Miles always a couple steps ahead. They almost made it past the girls floor but just before Miles turned the corner a clear voice cut through, bringing him to a halt.  
“Ahem,” Alex turned as Miles spun on his heels. It was the head girl, her eyes seemed to glitter even more up close. “Mister Kane,” she beckoned him with her perfectly manicured fingers, tutting as Miles rolled his eyes. “Look, we’ve got one day until school starts and your help would be greatly appreciated,” the girl looked at Alex, smiled “Newbie eh Miles?,” she laughed and held out her hand, perfectly sculpted from thin pale wrist to long, slim fingers with french painted nails. She waited for Alex to shake it. She seemed sweet, kind, generous but… there was something envious inside of Alex telling him not to like her. He never really disliked people particularly, especially friendly girls like her, whatever it was that was making Alex think bitterly of her was stronger. Nevertheless he accepted her hands shake (reluctantly, maybe, but accepted it all the same) “My parents thought it would be funny to call me Gwendoline when I was born, please call me Gwen, I’d be very grateful,” Her peachy pink lips curved into a smile. Sickly sweet, Alex thought.  Miles began getting impatient at the foot of the boys stairs. complaining and sighing, asking what she was going to get him to do next. Gwen began listing off jobs Head students were assigned for the school opening, each one making Miles loose a little more faith and general motivation to do anything… so Miles began protesting.  
“Gwen! but theres all these new people and you're gonna have me tomorrow!” Alex felt a little disappointment weigh his heart down for a second as he heard. He didn't often make friends very easily, thats probably one of the reasons why he got along so well with Matt. Miles was an easy person to be around, for Alex at least, he’d actually enjoyed sitting in a freezing park with him. Soon enough Alex was caught in the middle of two bickering head students, the tones of voice mocking themselves and laughs from each other, bickering soon turning to flirting in a heartbeat. Before push got to shove (or in this case wink got to kiss) Alex made for an escape, sneaking behind Miles and jogging up the stairs: light on his feet so he didn't grab their attention. He made it to his dorm, quickly slipping in. Matt was messing with his hair in the bathroom mirror with a crazy case of bed head since he’d probably just woken up and Jamie was sat on his bunk with a steaming mug, probably of tea, in his hands.  
“‘Ello,” Jamie pursed his lips into a smile.  
“Where’ve you been, Turner?” Matt stuck his head round the corner of the bathroom door “Y’been ages,” he said through a deep yawn.  
“Have I?,” Alex stood in thought for a moment, it didn't feel like he’d been long… maybe they’d talked longer than he remembered. To be truthfully honest, Alex didn’t remember much of what happened at all. “I were just out with Miles. Y’know, the head boy thats roommates with, eh, Nick,” Alex rolled onto his own bed, tired himself now despite sleeping that morning on the train and shortly in the cab. It wasn’t his fault that he's a napper, its hereditary.  
“I was gonna go out with Nick in the search for a pub later, you coming?” Matt came out from the bathroom, hair now tamed.  
“I dunno,” Alex’s eyes had closed sometime during Matt’s question “might just rest my eyes for a sec.. you know, just fall asleep for a sss-“ he left his sentence incomplete and slipped away into the abyss of slumber, taken by the sudden wave of fatigue that had been waiting for hours for Alex’s head to finally lay against a soft pillow.  
“Is he always like this?” Jamie asked from across the room as he looked down at Alex, his quiff fallen had over his closed eyes as if it were tired itself, making Jamie laugh to himself.  
“He sleeps whenever he gets a chance, ‘specially after socialising for a while,” Matt and Jamie stood in the silence for a while just watching Alex sleep… not in a creepy way, in a more ‘You are an interesting one, Turner, aren't you?’ kind of way. Like you'd watch a puppy snoozing in the corner, curled up into a fluffy ball peacefully dreaming of chasing tails or something.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My emotion during this chapter is pretty much just "ehhhhhh"

“AHA! my god, I canno’ believe you did tha’!”  
“Told you yer shouldn't dare me!” a group of drunken voices pierced their way into Alex dreams, pulling him out of the comforting darkness he’d so effortlessly slipped into like he was miles and miles deep in the ocean and was reaching the surface too rapidly. He awoke in a confused mess: all sense of time and being mixed with fading memories and vague knowledge of his whereabouts. Matt and Nick stumbled into his dorm, Jamie behind who was much more sober and was laughing at their antics.

  
“Shut up! this whole corridor is filled with people trying to sleep!” Jamie tried to scold them which was a pointless attempt because he was smiling as he spoke and there was no way they’d pay him any attention.  
“AH NO, We woke sleepin’ beauty!” Matt collapsed on top of Alex who was now more than a little dazed. “Mate you slept for hourssssssss,” Helders dramatically rolled his eyes as he lengthened the word “I were gonna wake you up to ask you if you wanted to go but…. well I don't remember why I didn't but… I went anyway and we found a great place, didn't we Mal?” Nick raised his eyebrows at the mention of his name and nodded.  
“Amazing pub,” he gave a double thumbs up “anyway, I’m gonna have to pass out in me dorm, later,” he waved at the three of them and subtly stumbled into his room, Alex peered round from his bed to see if he could catch a glimpse of Miles. It was unsuccessful. Matt turned his attention back to Alex, Matt had the habit of loosing his sense of personal space when he got drunk: he was just centimetres from Alex’s face as he sat in top of him and was breathing over the boy still laced with the drowsiness. Alex scrunched his nose at the alcohol infused breath surrounding him and pushed Matt off him as best he could.  
“I only closed my eyes for two seconds?” Alex made his statement more a question with his tone of voice, still unsure as to how it was the pitch black early hours already.

  
“Al, we all know when you go, you're gone for a good few hours. N’ anyway, that Miles you were with had you out for a while so I guess you were zonked,” Matt managed to stand up off Alex’s bed, only making it to the floor with little effort to get into his own bed. “Be the darlin’ that you are and leave me an aspirin or ibuprofen or whatever in the morning, might need it, I don't know, we shall see.”  
“Night Matthew,” Alex shook his head at the boy lain across the carpeted floor since he couldn’t attempt claiming up the bunk beds ladder, Alex wrapped his duvet over his shoulders and shuffled to the small bathroom they shared. Burning bright lights ached Alex’s brown eyes as he switched on the light. Rubbing his eyes and groaning, Alex shuffled further over to the mirror and sighed at his slightly messed hair of his reflection. He began poking at the red splotches on his skin form where he’d rested on his arm as he slept “I can’t imagine you’ve had none, too handsome for that. No one has a face like yours and gets away with being single.” Miles’ voice echoed through his head making Alex chuckle to himself. He’d never seen himself as particularly good looking, sure he had his good days when his cheekbones seemed more prominent than others, when his eyes seemed filled with a bit more life than before or when his lips shined a pale pink and cheeks creased as he smiled. But it was very rare that Alex ever noticed that.

  
He turned on one of the taps, letting the cold water raise goosebumps up his arms as the water streamed over his hands. Alex ducked his head under the tap, washing out the excessive amounts of hair gel he had put in that morning (that now felt like lifetimes ago for reasons unbeknown to him). The water sent a series of shivers down Alex’s back as it cooled his scalp. The drops of water darkened patches of the duvet draped over his shoulders as it dripped from the ends of his dark hair after he’d briefly dried it with the cream hand towel, leaving it a ruffled nest that desperately needed cutting but Alex missed his longer hair… there was just something so much more satisfying from head banging with long hair. One of the crappy hairdryers you get in hotels was clipped against the tiled wall, luckily due to its cheapness it was almost silent as it spat out the most pathetic little amount of warm air any hairdryer could ever produce. Alex sighed and decided to sit cross legged on the floor with the hair dryer in his hand, pointing it at his damp hair. Minutes passed and he was still wrapped up in his duvet on the bathroom floor failing to dry quickly. Matt staggered in at some point to throw up in the toilet, eyes heavy from the state of sleep he was still in, almost sleep walking… or ‘sleep vomiting’ to put it bluntly.

  
“Gods sake,” Alex stood up, leaving the duvet behind as he put away the poor excuse of a hair dryer and flushed the toilet, pulling a face of utter disgust as he did. Both boys were sound asleep in the dark dorm with Matt still on the floor and Jamie wrapped in his own blanket, Alex chucked his duvet onto the bed and pulled on the jacket he’d draped over the door. Alex usually woke up at random times during the night, unable to fall back asleep when he did (which probably explained his habit of napping) at home he’d entertain himself with a book or write some soppy poetry for a couple hours until it was acceptable to be awake, sometimes playing around on his phone but he didn't quite understand the internet enough to waste away the night on it (with no social networking accounts the internet was a pretty boring place and since Alex hadn't yet discovered free online gaming sites or illegally streaming sites, he was massively behind with it all). On warmer nights he’d slip out the back door after creeping past his parents room to walk around the streets for a while, just him and the amber glowing street lamps to daydream with as he balanced along the concrete curb. Sneaking back in time to change back into his boxers and loose shirt he slept in so his parents were non the wiser.  
In a new town and a new place doing this could be one of two things: a terrifying mistake or an eye opening little adventure. Once he closed the door behind him with all caution in the world, Alex stood outside Nick and Miles’ dorm for a moment: contemplating whether to knock to see if Miles was awake. He knew his way around town and it’d make sense to take someone with him who knew the streets. After short arguments with his thoughts Alex decided to leave it for tonight and he tip-toed down stairs and crept past Denise’s desk. The main door to the school house was heavy and stiff, it creaked as Alex pushed himself against it… he froze and waited. Nothing.

  
The boy escaped out into the cold blackness of the early morning, the gravel crunching beneath his feet as he walked under the gently flickering night lights. Turning at the red post box, Alex began walking to the park, still too unsure of his surroundings to venture out about the town. The street was dead, it was beautiful like that, with Alex being left inside his own head his thoughts quickly slipped back to thinking of that morning. His imagination replaying the waves of colour from outside the train window through his head like a slideshow, bright colours of vibrant blues and vivid greens mixed with brilliant whites all began to dim and merge together until they created beautiful browns of chestnut, chocolate, coffee and copper. The browns seemed strangely familiar, it bugged Alex as to why until he reached the park subtly illuminated by the pale moonlight. The little winding path through the grass had frosted over, a couple lines of footprints embedded into its glittering surface up until the bench where Alex had sat with Miles… that was it….the brown, it was Miles. The chocolate coffee swirls of his eyes, the chestnut spikes of his hair and curled sideburns either side of his dainty features. Heavens knew why Alex’s mind was romanticising someone he barely knew, this had happened before with Alexa and Arielle (his past girlfriends) but that was only ever after they were actually in a relationship… when he was in love with them. Alex was a romantic, he couldn't help that, but this was knew. His mind kept going on, like it couldn't divert from the thought of Miles, Miles, Miles, this fantastically enticing and almost enigmatic boy stuck in his head, and to be truthful, Alex didn't know why.

  
The bench felt incredibly empty as he sat alone, suddenly the loneliness of the place wasn’t as comforting as before (again, Alex had been romanticising things, midnight walks in Sheffield were much better than this) he begun to think that maybe he should’ve seen if Miles was up, you know, just for company. It felt like he was there with him anyway, hearing his voice repeating their conversations in Alex’s head, sat beside him on his phone with that hickey… the hickey that Alex felt something in the turn in his stomach as a reaction to whoever was lucky enough to leave it. Alex refused to believe it was jealousy or envy he had towards the girl, or guy, or anyone who had the privilege of having Miles., even if it were just for a drunken evening. Alex shook his head and combed a hand through his hair, ridding his mind of his thoughts and replaced the head boy with Sheffield. One of the more memorial places in his hometown was the park down the road from his first school, an all time favourite of young Matt and Alex. They’d race each other to the swings and see who could swing the highest - this usually being Matt, it was Alex that would win the roundabout competitions though - and they’d quite contently play until tea time. It was simpler times as 9 year olds. After that sweet age as they began to reach high-school, the park became a favourite place for other reasons. As giggly 11 year olds pretending to be grown up, the competition changed from swinging the highest to seeing who could get the most girls to kiss them behind the slide. Although, 11 year old Alex thought this was very cruel game and preferred to be a bit more poetic in his ways. By the time they reached high school the use of the park had changed again, now as teens it was the “cool thing to do” if you went down in groups in hoodies and sat on the see-saws smoking and drinking, which is ironic really because thats about the most ‘uncool’ way to spend you free time as a child in the prime of your teenage years. Once Alex neared 20 rather than 15 he began to use the park as he was now, day dreaming and people watching, he’d write his best poetry there too. Being surrounded by memories helped him think. The homesickness began to kick in as time went on and Alex’s nose began to redden from the cold so he decided now would be a good time to get back.

  
Pale grey clouds passed by and the sky began to loose its stars (or planes… you could never really tell) as the deep navy of the night begun its transformation into a clearer blues: preparing itself for the rising of the sun behind the red-bricked flats and stone walled pubs and restaurants. Alex didn’t know yet what time people begun to wake up and getting caught sneaking about on his first day wouldn't be the greatest reputation to have, although, most students had been out late (the more rebellious ones returning drunk, teachers seemed to expect this though and left them to it, they knew that a hangover would be punishment enough) and so they’d all probably be sleeping in until late afternoon. He walked back through the streets, passing a couple walking hand in hand as they shared some sort of deep conversation. The english student was specifically wary of the main door, careful to make sure it wouldn’t creak and wake the house, he tiptoed back up the stairs: flinching as the steps squeaked under his weight. Thankfully Jamie and Matt were still sound asleep, leaving Alex to discard his jacket and kick off his shoes; undressing down to his grey Calvin Klein boxers to climb onto his bed after pulling a book out of his suit. It was a novel roughly half the width of your thumb, the hardback cover a deep, almost purple red and the edges of the page silver. Alex had contemplated packing it the week before he left, only taking it as a last decision the night before he went. So far the story had only just opened up, the main character had a sort of James Bond meets batman vibe. Nothing special. To be truthful, Alex just liked the look of it (talk about not judging a book by its cover) and it was some easy entertainment for when he had nothing else to do, writing his “poetry” at school seemed too risky: if anyone were to find his writing Alex was sure he’d pass out or do something very close to that, he was very insecure of his writing, it was the most personal thing he had and if someone were to judge him for that or laugh at how pathetic he felt it was Alex knew that he’d never pick up a pen or pencil again. He felt as if his words were better left invisible for now.

Elongated groans pulled Alex out from his book, he looked over the top of the red cover and raised his eyebrows at the source of the noise. Matt lay in his spot on the floor and rubbed his hands over his eyes as he stretched out the rest of his body.  
“Time?” Matt spoke through his groans.  
“8am” Alex replied.

“Good night” Matt rolled over again and fell back asleep. Nothing else happened after that until 10am by which point Alex had pushed one of the bedside tables over to the window, climbed on top of it and sat on the high windowsill: his legs dangling on the outside of the building two floors above the teachers car park. The window didn’t open very far so he was kind of squished between the window and the frame but that didn't bother him when he was away with the fairies. Twiddling the slim cylinder of a cigarette between his fingers and he thought about deep nothingness, Alex wasn’t a big time smoker, he jut did it for the sake of doing it (probably peer pressure too but…). Of course like any school smoking wasn’t aloud but smuggling in cigarettes wasnt the biggest crime, a portion of the students had been waltzing about drunk last night so the rules couldn't be that tight. Jamie had woken about an hour ago with very little of a hangover and had said something along the lines of 'Tut tut Turner’ which got a smirk as a reply before Jamie left to do whatever he did of a morning. The blue plastic lighter flickered a flame on and off while Alex fiddled with it, making a tune out of the clicking and flashing of the flame until he got bored and held the small, steady fire against the cigarette now between his lips. He was in mid-exhale as a series of knocks came from the dorm door.

“fuck, fuck, fuck,” He swatted at the smoke blowing its was back into the room and chucked the cigarette out of the window before slamming it shut, forgetting about the teachers cars below the window. “Eh, yeah come in,” he kicked Matt lightly on the floor, who then grunted in reply as the door opened.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what I like to call a 'filling' chapter... meaning nothing of interest happens, just pushing on the plot a little more. (sorry)

”What’s going on here then?” a gentle sigh of relief slipped from Alex’s lips as the already familiar voice of the head boy came from the open door. Miles looked at Matt lying face down on the ground, he walked over and circled him before looking at Alex with a raised eyebrow.  
“Drink,” Alex answered his unasked question.  
“Ah, how come you’re alright? Did you not go out? either that or you don’t drink or you drink so much the word ‘hangover’ means nothing to you,” Miles sat himself on Alex’s bed and crossed his legs, waiting for a reply.  
“I fell asleep, didn’t get to leave,” Miles smiled at Alex's reasons for not socialising, his nose scrunching up briefly making his eyes close, which in turn made Alex smile to himself.  
“One of these days I’m going to have to take you out, get you real drunk. I think you’d be a great drunk.” Miles laid back on Alex’s bed and started fiddling with his phone “I’d have to make a bet with myself on what kind of drunk you are?”  
“What d’you mean?” Alex subconsciously swallowed, unaware of his mouth watering.  
“You know, you've got your aggressive drunks, clumsy drunks, over-emotional drunks,” Miles listed, with great expression “people that pass out too soon and then those who do anything to get into someones pants,”  
“What are you then?” Alex asked once Miles had finished tapping on his phone.  
“What do you think?” the head boy genuinely questioned.  
“I dunno…”  
“Oh go on mate, guess. I want to see if you’re a good judge of character or not,” Miles had propped himself up on his elbows, looking straight at Alex with his long legs over the bed. After Alex’s silence and reluctance to answer (because he obviously wasn’t going to tell him what was going on in his head after barely two days of knowing him, come on now) Miles swung his legs round so he was sat on the bed and motioned for Alex to sit beside him, which he did, instantly recognising the cologne from yesterday “I’ll show you some pictures, make it a bit easier for you,” Miles opened the gallery on his phone and scrolled through until he found a collection of badly lit, blurred, drunken photos amongst all the pictures of him in various cheetah print clothes, kaleidoscopic shirts and the skinniest jeans there were to offer. The first photo was of Miles with his eyes half closed and smiling contently with his head resting on the lap of some bloke who was as equally out of it as Miles judging by his face. The second one was a selfie, poorly taken by a sweet looking brunette girl showing the peace sign over her eye as was Miles, you could just see his hand around her hip. Many more photos of shots, empty beer bottles and drunk friends he couldn’t remember the names of, falling about and kissing the cheeks of them all. Alex looked at Miles as he flipped through, smiling every now and then, mostly at the pictures of his good friends stradling and lying on top of each other with red faces and empty cups.  
“So,” Alex began thinking out loud “You get quite... intimate?” eyes going to look at Miles, glancing over his neck for a second.  
“I’m like that anyway, wouldn’t you say?” Miles said with a sideways smile “I suppose, give me a drink and I’m all over. Anyway that’s not the point, pick one,” Alex snapped himself out of watching Miles’ mouth once he’d finished talking.  
“Not aggressive or over-emotional,” Miles nodded as he ruled those out “You wouldn’t pass out and I don’t think you’d be clumsy either… so.. ehhh,”  
“Do I try to get in peoples pants?” Miles helped him out and finished his sentence, Alex nodded in reply. “That’s what most people say, I guess they’re kinda right too,” he rubbed his hand over the side of his neck “Gwen wasn’t impressed when she saw that,” he laughed. The conversation carried on with Alex asking what Gwen had wanted him to do last night, Miles replying with that fact that he had pretended to fall asleep to get out of work and debating with her until she had agreed to let him off for Sunday. Eventually Matt woke up from their talking, he blocked the shining in light from the window with his hand and squinted at the boys on the bed.  
“What’s ‘appnened?” his voice a little rough and his mouth dry.  
“Lightweight,” Miles whispered in Alex’s ear, he was unaware of the shiver is sent down Alex’s neck.  
“Hey I heard that, what’s yer name… Miles,” Matt stood up and went into the bathroom to wake himself up “Not lightweight, just been a while. Now Alex, Alex is a lightweight,”  
“Not true!” Alex protested.  
“I reckon you’re the kind that lets it all out. You’re too private, I barely know anything about you. Surely alcohol will let everything slip, I’d love to get into that little head of yours, Turner,” little did Miles know, he was already in there. Even during that morning while looking out the window he’d been on Alex’s mind the whole time… Alex’d just pretended that wasn’t the case.

“Not to be rude or anything but, what did you come in here for? Did you need anything?” Alex asked after a good hour of mindless conversation between the three boys. Miles spent a few moments in silent thinking before saying that if there were anything he needed, it couldn’t have been that important since he had completely forgotten whatever it was. Lunch became the next subject of talk which ended up in Mcdonalds burger boxes and chip packets covering the beds. Having a fast food place so nearby was convenient.  
“Lets get some tunes on,” Miles suggested after ‘degreasing’ his hands, without waiting for a reply “What are you two into? a bit of The Beatles? Libertines? Strokes?”  
“Sounds good to me,” Matt used his last chips to make walrus teeth, attempting to get a laugh out of Alex as he rounded up all the rubbish and chucked it out.  
“I got a speaker a few months ago, come, I’ll show my dorm too,” Matt and Alex followed Miles out the door “Though, all dorms are pretty much the same to be honest” he opened the door and as expected there were the familiar dull coloured walls and floors besides from a series of posters above Miles’ bed in pristine condition, the speaker at the foot of his bed besides a suitcase and a pile of textbooks. His bedside table had the rings and albums on Alex had seen before, as Miles opened the top drawer there was an inhaler beside a packet of cigarettes and a couple bottles of aftershave and cologne.  
“Isnt it a bit ironic having those together?” Alex pointed out.  
“Huh?”  
“The inhaler and ciggies, I thought smoking with asthma was risky or something.”  
“Smoking is ‘risky’ anyway, having asthma just adds that little bit more ‘danger’” Miles widened his eyes, clearly taking the mick out of the health and safety notices pumping themselves into every place they could. “or excitement as I like to call it,” he snorted “in its gentlest form.”  
Matt walked over to Nick’s bed and sat down (Nick somewhere other than the school house) and Alex followed while Miles put on one of his Beatles albums.  
“Is that what I think it is?” Matt pointed under the bed, making Miles turn on his toes to look under.  
“Ah, yeah that’s my one love,” he pulled the out black object which was actually a guitar case and put in on his lap as he sat cross-legged at the feet of Alex and Matt. A pale brown guitar sat proudly, enclosed by the rich red velvet lining of the case “She’s a beauty, in’t she?” Alex saw how his eyes lit up as he stroked his fingers over the strings.  
“I guess you play then?” Matt said, looking around the room “covers or your own stuff?”  
“a bit of both actually,” Miles had begun playing nothing in particular, just strumming a simple tune that blended with the song playing in the background from his speakers, dancing his long fingers over the strings. “Do either of you two play anything?” he asked, receiving two shaking heads as an answer.  
“Nah, never appealed to me. I don’t think I could succeed much in the whole music department.”  
“I feel like drums would be more your thing, you’ve got that kind of look about you. What about you?” Miles looked up from his instrument, brown eyes locking with Alex’s.  
“No, er, never picked up an instrument before.”  
“Really? wow. I guess I was wrong when I thought you were the kind with music running through their veins,” the song playing through the speakers ended and another begun, the guitar filling the silence in between.  
“You’re not too wrong, I guess,” Alex shrugged. This pricked a spark of interest in Miles, he lifted his head and stopped playing.  
“Oh I?”  
“Yeah, I, eh, I write a bit. Lyrics and poems and stuff. They’re not very good, mind you but, its all I do.”  
“Bullshit, I bet you’re a right poet. Writing lyrics is the hardest thing for me. Hey, I could give you some free guitar lessons if you help me with writing sometime if you want,” Miles raised his eyebrows in suggestion.  
The thought of Miles spending his spare time with Alex make his heart flutter just a little, the further thought of Miles being his own private tutor with his fingers guiding Alex's made a pale pink blush over his cheeks.  
“Yeah! I’d love that,” he said a little too surely.  
“Oh now I just feel like a third wheel!” Matt joked.

Several albums, multiple cups of tea and many conversations later and it was coming close to late evening, Nick had returned and joined in with the discussions shared between the boys just before Alex and Matt decided to call it a day and head back for something to eat before retiring to bed after preparing for the first day of school in the morning.  
“I don’t wanna get up at half seven tomorrow… I’m not ready for that,” Matt said through the darkness of their dorm, in his bed above jamie and across from Alex.  
“Shouldn’t have gone out then,” Alex smirked even though no one could see.  
“Hey, you’re lucky, you wake up before the fookin’ sun half the time,”  
“Spends all the extra time he has doin’ his hair,” Jamie piped up from between his covers. A quiet laugh came from each of the beds, dying down into silence again with just a few ‘Goodnight’s breaking it.

\------------

“Ughhhhhh,” was the first sound to come after the ringing of the school bell at precisely 7:30 am.  
“Morning to you too, Matt,” Alex was sat on his bed with his hair, as expected, in his usual do. He had woken much earlier than the bell and used that time to do what Jamie guessed he would. Alex had actually put his hair as a first priority after brewing tea, he was still undressed, quite contently sat in his bed under the covers in his underwear with the heat from his own body bleeding through the sheets. Just an hour ago while he was at the mirror alone with nothing but a comb and tub of gel, Alex had absent mindedly been humming the song he’d had stuck in his head since he left Miles’ dorm, the song that had been on repeat all through his dreams.  
“How long do we have until we have to go?” Matt mumbled, he tried sitting up straight but the ceiling was too close to the top bunk for him to do that.  
“Pffft,” Alex shrugged “I read it on the timetables but I forgot,” eventually rolling out of the warm cocoon of his bed, Alex rummaged around his suitcase and pulled out the black trousers, white shirt, green blazer and tie, while little goosebumps rose on his arms from the change in temperature. He pulled on the trousers and begun buttoning up his shirt.  
“Al, you’re gonna need to do more buttons, this is school you know,” Matt laughed, climbing down from the ladder to get his own uniform on.  
“Oh… yeah,” Alex threw down the tie he was about to put on even though he had four buttons still undone. It felt weird to Alex, buttoning a shirt right up to the collar round his neck, usually he’d leave it half open exposing a slice of his chest but, like Matt had rightly pointed out, this was school.  
“They better have good tea in the canteen this year,” Jamie said once they were all dressed and just sat around waiting for something to happen. He scrunched his nose at the soggy tea bag he’d fished out of the small cup next to the cheap kettle, sugar packets and little milk packets. Last year the school council had convinced the school house to supply each room with some form of hot beverages, they all needed a hot drink in the morning anyway and the local café would be swamped with zombie-like teens half dressed in the early hours, craving any form of caffeine they could scavenge (again, like zombies but with energy over brains). Unfortunately, to Jamie’s dismay, the only tea bags they supplied were Twinings. “Twinings is shit, I hate Twinings… I’m gonna set up a campaign against Twinings. Ugh its horri- its wank,” he tossed the tea bag into the bin beside him and sipped from the brown liquid in the mug which resulted in a disgusted expression “Even Tetley’s would be an improvement.”

  
A bell rang signalling the opening of the school doors, early arrivers or those who missed breakfast were allowed to buy something from the canteen, most schoolhouse kids got breakfast there. Jamie (after forcing himself to drink his tea), Alex and Matt all arrived in their uniforms with bags packed for the day, as did every other student. The canteen was down the right hall, arrows painted on the walls showed this. It was a large room with rows of tables and benches running along the hardwood floor, windows filling the walls either side that let in as much grey light from the september skies as possible. Two counters with toast, cereals, cakes and other morning foods on top were placed along the back wall, in front of the kitchens.  
“Are you getting anything?” Matt nudged Alex as he got some change from his blazer pocket.  
“I don’t feel like eating,” he answered, walking over to the water fountain to fill a polystyrene cup.  
“I just want a decent cuppa,” Jamie sighed dramatically and grabbed his second cup for today and began pressing at the buttons on the hot drinks dispenser, leaving Matt to pay for his breakfast and find a seat next to Alex who had already chosen a table next to the windows (that he was already aimlessly staring out of).  
“Al?” Matt tried to catch his attention, Alex diverted his gaze from the swaying trees like dancers outside the window to his friend across the table from him.  
“Yeah?” Alex sipped from his water, his precious attention on Matt until he caught the sight of the slim brunet from the corner of his eye. “Miles!” he waved to catch a smile from him, a smile of his own danced across his cheeks once Miles began walking over.  
“Oh, hello there Mr Brickwall, how have you been? Oh good, that’s great to hear,” Matt made harmless fun of Alex’s lack of interest in him, he was on another planet anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uR7FjnEERQ 0:23 - 0:31, I wasn't lying about Jamie hating Twining's. (This is my all time favourite AM video, just saying)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Based on a true story."

”You made a new friend there, Matt?” Miles joked after smiling at Alex and sliding up along to bench next to him.  
“Yeah, best mate I ever had. Speaks to me more than this one,” he nodded towards Alex.  
“Huh?” the boy in question finally realised he was being spoken about, after being too absorbed in returning Miles’ smile. “What?”  
“Nothing, you’re just being distant again.”

Jamie sat beside Matt and opposite Miles, he had fallen into conversation with Nick earlier and so Nick joined the four too. Alex and Jamie sipped at their drinks while the rest tucked into their breakfasts, other students filing in and out as they pleased.  
“You not eating?” Miles pulled Alex out of the chat passing the table with his question.  
“Nah,” Alex messed with his polystyrene cup, pinching dents along the rim.  
“Here,” Miles spilt his cookie into two and slid one half across the table on the clingfilm to Alex. Alex tried to protest, easily failing against Miles who insisted, saying that it was a welcoming gift of some sort and that he needed to eat. “There’s next to nothing on you anyway.”  
“You can talk,”  
“Okay, alright. We’ll call it natural physique then. But still, you need to eat something in the mornings. Theres a year of school ahead ‘o ya and we can’t have you wasting away now, can we?”  
Alex shook his head at Miles in an exasperated manner, taking the cookie anyway and biting into its goldenness letting the sugary food fill his stomach.

The morning of the first day was always spent in the assembly hall, sorting students into tutor groups so they could meet their registration teachers and peers for the next two years. Later classes pass in a blur, teachers droning on about opportunities, expectations and work involved through 6th form. Just hours into it all and Alex felt like he’d already sat through weeks of lectures, boredom eating away at his brain. He had been sat at the back beside a girl, one of the popular ones Alex guessed, judging from the group of other girls she was giggling and whispering with whilst the teacher wrote on the board at the front. She wasn’t in your face, drop dead gorgeous but she was dainty and had an almost angelic look about her; dazzling blue eyes and brown hair pulled into a high ponytail with part of her fringe falling over her clear skin. She had been doodling in the margin of her book, hearts and stars, swirls and polka dots sprinkled around a faceless cartoon head. Watching her bitten fingernails move the pen across the page creating a subtle smile and rounded nose was more interesting than anything else happening in the room, soon the person with no identity amongst the doodles began to take place.  
“Who’s that?” Alex had his head resting in his hand, looking at the girl he seemed to have startled.  
“Him?” she pointed to the face in her book “Oh, er, its supposed to be my boyfriend actually. You can’t really tell though, let me do they eyebrows then it’ll look like him,” she smiled and begun to draw two thick lines over his eyes, going over in black pen “He has the darkest eyebrows you’ve ever seen, like Zachary Quinto meets Darren Criss plus Lee Pace or something. It’s ridiculous,” Alex noticed the look in her eye as she smiled at her drawing.  
“Does he go to school here?”  
“Nah, he moved to America a month ago today, actually,” She coloured in the hearts with a highlighter “I miss him a lot, skype calls never feel enough, you know?,” a sigh slipping from her lungs as she put the pen back “Can’t afford a holiday there either… anyone on your mind?” she paused while lifting up Alex’s book to see the cover with his name on “Alex.”  
He looked at the girl who was now mirroring his head in hand position, her question was unexpected.  
“Ehh, not really, no” Alex lied, although, not completely. He always had someone on his mind, he just did. Again, it was another curse of being a romantic, Alex would’ve always see someone as special, tell himself he had a crush because being without one felt so boring… These pretend crushes never lasted long though, a few months maybe, before his mind wanted to romanticise someone new.  
“Ah you hesitated there, somebody popped up didn’t they?” she pretended to nudge Alex with her elbow, egging him on.  
“Dannii, please,” the teacher at the front of the class made both the girl, supposedly Dannii, and Alex turn their attention to her. “I’m trying not to bore you here but there are things I am paid to do, teaching you is one of them,” and so the rest of the lesson was devoted purely to education… good, old, education.

“Why did we agree to two more years at school again?” Matt was sat next to Alex on one of the benches put in the halls, teenagers were lazy and needed this of course.  
“Really, Helders? barely a day in and you’re bored, was it really that bad?”  
“Nah, its just… we could’ve done a lot of other things. I were just thinkin’ about it earlier.”  
“What like?”  
“Go somewhere, do something,” Matt began gesturing with his hands “and I mean out of Britain.”  
“We looked at that though, didn’t we, we aint got any money,”  
“We could get jobs?”  
“On top of school?”  
“Yeah, alright… don’t give me that look, Turner,” Matt folded his arms “It’s not the stupidest idea I’ve ever had, people do do that. There's probably a library or something that you’d be into,” Alex nodded his head, not bothering to spike up an argument. Instead he watched all the other students walking through the halls, so many faces that were bound to be forgotten. School was never a place faces get recognised, unless you make a scene or if you’re exceptional in anyway, be that exceptionally talented, loud, academically advanced, a fighter or a troublemaker: if you made yourself known, you’d be remembered. But here there were very few that bothered, they were all just students trying to crawl their way through life in the most simplest, pain free way possible. Achieving that (or most likely coming as close to that as their poor souls could manage) meant keeping your head down and your grades high until it was your debt that began to increase and your will power that took the fall, life is such a joy. In amongst the thin flow of faceless pupils was someone quite the opposite to those, someone who didn’t even have to say anything to make their presence known in a room, someone who was heard of throughout the school even on the first day of others arrival; this person being Miles Kane, of course.

“What’s up boys, how’s it been?” Miles had his guitar in his hand having just has a music class “Ooh, good for you I see,” Miles nodded his head towards Alex’s hand. Just before Alex had left English class the girl he was sat beside took his hand and pulled open one of her pink fine point pens, she wrote her name on the back of his hand under the vein running through the middle. She dotted the ‘i’s of her name with petit love hearts and underlined it with swirls, below her name she wrote six numbers and told him to put it into his contacts. She left the classroom to catch up with her friends before Alex could do anything other than shrug and swing his bag over his shoulder.  
“Hey what’s this then Al?” Matt’s attention was caught, intrigued as to why Alex hadn’t told him he’d gotten close to someone already.  
“It’s nothing, just a number,” Alex pulled his blazer sleeve over his hand, having to shrink himself away a little into his blazer to do this. “I didn’t even ask for it.”  
Miles sat himself down at their feet again, looking up at Alex through the bit of his fringe with a smirk.  
“I told you, you’ve got numbers coming to you left, right and centre!”  
“No, she’s got a boyfriend!” Alex sat up in objection.  
“Oh has she now?” Miles raised his eyebrows.  
“Yeah, he’s in America.”  
Miles grinned to himself and opened up his guitar, flashing a look at Alex.  
“I won’t say anymore,” he said, but his face let on what he was thinking. “anyway, was your class like the rest of ours? going over the basics, whatever?” taking the nods as an agreement Miles began playing “they made us go over ‘Smoke On The Water’, can you believe that?!” Alex’s mind was blank, he had no idea how to react until the tune Miles’ was playing became familiar, the old bells ringing clear.  
“Dun, dun, dunnnn, dun-dun d-dun,” Matt was scrolling through his phone by this time, absent-mindedly singing along to the lyric-less intro.  
“I could teach you this easily, beginners stuff,” Alex couldn’t help but grin a little, pleased the Miles seemed serious about this “And while I’m at it I’m going to make it my duty to get you with someone before christmas,” he said that a little quieter, possibly because he was messing with his guitar but possibly because it was a thought supposed to be for himself. Either was, Alex heard and took it to heart (in the good way, that is).  
“You know what’s a good party trick? whipping out a guitar and playing this,” Miles adjusted his hands and began playing. The song was instantly recognisable to more than just Alex, there were a group of girls sat across the hall from them, a couple meters away. They were all on their phones talking to each other, a dark haired girl typing on her laptop, the other girl doodling in a sketchbook and another girl in between the two playing on some game. Each of them stopped what they were doing and looked towards Miles once the song became familiar. The darked haired girl and the girl in glasses smiled to each other sharing a look of mischief while the girl in the middle had a look in her eyes, first of fear then her eyebrows furrowed.  
“No,” she mouthed “No, no, no, no, no,” her hands rushed through her blazer pockets pulling out a tangled mess of earphone wire, she scrambled to push them into her iPod.  
Miles was unaware of all this as his back was towards them and began singing, Alex hadn’t heard him sing before, and he wasn’t going to hear him sing now because the two girls started singing too, much louder than Miles. They were singing in either ear of the girl who was trying to put her own music on.  
“TODAY IS GONNA BE THE DAY THAT THEY’RE GONNA THROW IT BACK TO YOU!!”  
“SHUT UP”  
“BY NOW YOU SHOULDA SOMEHOW REALIZED WHAT YOU GOTTA DO,”  
“NO, GUYS PLEASE,” eventually she got her headphones in, she scowled at her friends who then high fived each other, laughing.  
“What’s going on?” Miles turned around and saw the group. The girl in glasses saw his confusion and called over.  
“Sorry, its just she can’t stand Wonderwall.”  
“We, being supportive friends, make the most of any opportunity to annoy her.”  
“So it weren’t my singing then?” Miles laughed.  
The girls made sure to be clear that it wasn’t Miles’ singing that caused the girls minor meltdown before the bell rung for next period, and again the system of students flowing through the corridors continued.

Alex’s next lesson wasn’t of any interest, he spent it wondering what Miles’ singing was like. Wondering if his accent slipped away as his words became a melody, wondering if his singing was higher or lower, thick, rough, smooth or strong. He thought a lot about his hands, Miles had quite feminine hands, they were smooth, hairless and delicate. Not a single freckle, mole or any other marking was found on his skin, not even the blue or purple of a vein interrupted the porcelain, his hands were just pure; plain and simple.

Lunch flew by since Alex has already forgotten where the canteen was and didn’t feel like going out for food, he wasn’t hungry anyway because Dannii had shared some sweets with him last class. So for the lunch hour Alex sat happily in the corner of the library he had stumbled across during his walk around the school. There was a row of desks, one behind the other, in the far end of the library that smelt of coffee coming from the librarians desk. It made the whole room feel so warm and cosy to the point where you felt alone with just the peace from the comfortable silence, and it was easy imagine the inspiration seeping from the pages of the hundreds of books on the shelves throughout the room. Sitting at the desk furthest away from anyone, Alex tore a page from his English book and twiddled a pen between his fingers. He felt safe enough here to write, he had to do it at some point. The thoughts trapped in his head kept blossoming and growing, flowering into a garden of thoughts Alex couldn’t keep in anymore in fear of them multiplying and overpowering his brain, digging their roots through his skull until they were all he could think about. These nagging ideas needed to be released as usual, they turned into slick ink flowing from the pen to paper, freeing themselves from Alex’s head and bringing him to some peace. It’s scientifically proven that bottling up emotions causes stress, one of the ways to clear this up is by writing them out, some people would burn them after or crumple what they’d written up and toss it away like a useless wrapper. It depends on what’s written really, anger is best relieved with fire, sorrow being tossed away and anything positive kept hold of. Alex kept everything he wrote though, he had stories of all his crushes, beliefs, dreams and sorrows kept away in his book, right from the simple age of nine. It was too precious to miss anything out, the good, the bad, the ugly, if he were to miss anything then Alex would feel like he was only lying to himself.  
His writing was endless, soon the page began to fill with his scribble of words, three lines, ten lines, twenty lines, sixty lines. The whole page a sea of uniform lines with uneven sketched letters over the top. By the end of what felt like a strenuous therapy session between Alex and his own conscience, the ‘garden of thoughts’ was successfully trimmed, the cut flowers scattered on the page in front of him, lying on the old, battered, graffitied desk. Just as he was folding the paper and slipping it into his blazer pocket someone spoke.  
“Here you are! I’ve been looking for you,” Miles lifted himself onto the desk, sitting on it between Alex and the wall “What’re you doing?”  
“Noting.”  
Miles snorted, as assumed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoy writing texts...

”You’re writing, aren’t you?” Alex sighed at Miles question, he knew how this always went. ‘Can I see?’ they’d ask, ‘show me! I bet you’re amazing, oh please. What’s the point it writing if you won’t let anyone see?’ but to Alex’s surprise, Miles said neither of these.  
“I wish I could write, I don’t know why but the words never sound as good on paper as they do in my head. Y’know?”  
“I could do some stuff for you,” Alex said, a little too quickly “I mean, maybe, if you wanted. Lyrics, right?”  
“Yeah,” Miles smiled fondly “hey, maybe we can have a cheesy little music group. Toss us a pen,” Miles held out his hand.  
“Why?” Alex passed one over.  
“Give me your hand.”  
“Why?”  
Miles didn’t bother answering and just carried on. He wrote his name, large, over Dannii’s and wrote his own numbers in a blank space.  
“You could’ve just told me your number,” Alex took his pen back, smiling a little at his hand covered in names and numbers.  
“Yeah, well... I don’t feel like sharing,” Miles folded his arms and stuck his chin up in the air. Alex rose his eyebrows, not really knowing what to think, probably best if he just decided to let this all go over his head.  
“Well I’d be buggered if I didn’t want to share,” he mumbled, in between the thought of thinking whether he should’ve said that out loud or not.  
“Hey, I told you I’m going easy now.”  
“Since when?”  
“Since… like… three days ago,” Alex’s face showed his amount of disbelief in that. “Oi! Don’t give me that look, I can keep my pants on, thank you very much. I don’t need you judging me.”

Soon the repetition of school timetables began to kick in.  
Wake up, morning rituals, drag yourself to school, sit through lesson after lesson, eat, try not to sleep, go home/ back to dorms, revision and extra studying, food, sleep and so on, and on, and on.  
After six weeks of doing next to nothing, being swamped with this much work and general movement was enough to tire anyone to the point of exhaustion. Three weeks had passed and it all just stayed the same…  
Miles had adjusted to Alex’s habit of waking at early hours since the day after Miles had given him his number, Alex had been thinking about it all of that day. Then at night, those weeks ago, he had woken up at 5 which meant he had two hours to kill before anyone else would wake. Half of this time spent alone was wasted by trying to compose the right text (he’d even considered calling but, he didn’t know if miles had a loud ringtone that would stir the rest of the students and so ruled that idea out, plus calling before texting wasn’t something people did) texting new people was always a challenge, you have to adjust to the way they text. Full sentences and proper grammar with correct punctuation was how Alex would usually text (Matt taking the mick out of him for this) but he had to play it off cool, not that he was intimidated by Miles…. Not that he was going out of his way to make sure he didn’t look like an idiot in front of _Miles._

The question in matter was more complex than what first seemed, did he use emojis? Text slang? Punctuation? Kisses at the end? By this time Alex had typed out several drafts that ended in him scoffing and deleting it. Eventually he settled on ‘Hey’ deciding to take the plainest route and missing out all ways to personalize it, thinking ‘fuck it’ and hitting send before another second of doubt passed. It was half past six by the time he got any reply.

**‘Al, rite?’**

**‘Yeah, didn’t think u were up.**   
**Got bored’**

**‘Jesus, how long u been awake?’**

**‘Not long. Why are u up?’**

**‘Me phone buzzed, duh, rn the light is burning my eyes so appreciate this u little ship**   
***shit**   
**autocorrect is a sick**   
***dick**   
**FUCKS SAKE’**

Now came the next trial in ‘how the hell do I text a new person’. The dreaded reply of either ‘lol, lmao, hahaha, aha, XD’ or a combination of two, the only other way to reply to something funny was to state exactly that ‘that’s funny’, problem being, only parents ever said that and it always sounded sarcastic or patronizing. Alex risked it and went for the laughing emoji face, Miles replying with the pissed off emoji.

A week after that first conversation and Alex had picked up on Miles’ texting habit and vice versa, their texts flowed easily and they began to create their own slang (useful during the early morning texts when Alex was wide awake but miles was still struggling to text since he was pretty much still asleep) this is what kept Alex going through the week, as his head lay against his pillow every night he’d smile through the darkness knowing that when he woke up Miles would be there, the other side of his phone. Miles hadn’t complained about being woken up before the sun had even risen yet and he was never the one to end the conversation either, he’d just let Alex waffle on to and with him until the bells rang through the school house waking everyone else up.

**‘See u at school’**

**‘Not if I get there first ;)’**

**‘I swear I will come into ur dorm rn…’**

**‘Go on then, I’m waiting’**

**‘I can never win, can I?’**

**‘;)’**

**‘:/’**

**‘;*’**

After a while, Miles’ struggle of texting in the morning due to his eyes shriveling in the burning light, they began calling each other instead of texting.  
“Hey,” that one syllable word never sounded so good, Miles’ voice in the morning was thick with sleep, much deeper and his accent was at its strongest. Every time the vibrations of his voice spoke through the phone Alex couldn’t help but grin and close his eyes, he could listen to his voice in these hours forever. But that’s just because he had a nice voice… Right? Miles’ voice was nothing special, it didn’t please Alex this much when he heard it because it was specifically _Miles_ it just pleased him because of the twisting feeling he got in his stomach whenever his words rippled down his spine…  
“Mornin’”  
“Mmmmm,” oh god, it was even worse when he did that. When he murmured or hummed, pushing Alex into a state of brief bliss.  
“I never got to hear you sing, you know.”  
“You will on Saturday.”

That was when they had finally arranged meet with Miles’ guitar.

“But I’m impatient.”  
“So you’re asking me to sing to you?”  
“Your voice sounds good through the phone,” …that slipped out by mistake… Alex felt and instant regret but that soon faded when Miles replied.  
“Oh, and it doesn’t in real life?!”  
“Well I wouldn’t know, would I?”  
“Alright… But, I’ll wake Nick up.”  
“I’m not asking you to sing a screamo, Miles, or some rendition of My Heart Will Go On.”  
“Ugh,” Alex smiled at Miles’ exasperation, hidden under his covers.  
“It’s 6:30, Alex, I’m not singing now,”  
“Please.”  
“No.”

It wasn’t until Friday night that he convinced Miles to ‘serenade’ him. It was worth it his sacrifice.

“I’ll go out tomorrow morning and get you a coffee if you want.”  
“Grande soya macchiato with caramel shots and extra foam? And one of those little shortbread things?”  
“So I’ll just ask for the ‘Pretentious princess’ order?”  
“That’s the one,” the deal was made and Alex agreed. Morning coffee in trade for his own performance.

“Do you wanna do this over the phone or video call?”  
“I think I deserve a video call for giving up my warm bed tomorrow, just to venture out into the freezing morning for your coffee,” is what Alex said, although what he thought was more along the lines of “I’m not going to pass at the opportunity of seeing you in your pajamas and bed hair in addition to your morning singing, just for me.”

"alright, gimme a sec I gotta set up in the bathroom, Nicks still asleep."  
“See you in two,” Alex hung up and decided to lock himself in the bathroom too. He could’ve stayed in bed with his earphones in but this felt like this should be a personal thing (God knows why) between just Alex and Miles, minus sleeping roommates.

Alex took his duvet into the bathroom and sat on the floor in the corner, it was a very small bathroom so it was hard to find a place that wouldn’t have the toilet, messy sink or shower in the background but eventually Alex found a position so it was just the tiled wall and his face (that was mostly hidden in the duvet) that filled the screen. A minute or so later, a notification popped up on Alex’s phone reading ‘Miles video calling: Accept/Decline?’ He pressed accept, unable to hide the little smile that pushed his cheeks up, making him seem a lot chubbier but in an endearing sort of way.

Miles had sat his phone on the closed toilet seat, propping it up in an angle that filed the screen with him and his guitar sat on the floor.  
“What’re you gonna get me to sing then? Let’s get this over with,” as Miles spoke Alex had to swallow before he replied. Miles had skipped getting dressed and was still in what he slept in, no shirt and just some boxers (cheetah print, which was highly unsurprising) and his hair was untouched, leaving it in a soft, ruffled mess that was just screaming at you to run your fingers through it. Miles’ body was still in a sort of sleep state; shoulders slumped, hands and arms loose and his posture not at its best. However, two things in him were bright and sparkling as they were when he was wide awake, this being his eyes and his smile. There was a cheekiness struggling to hide behind his lips and a flirty look that was permanently in his eyes, glittering to a point where you felt intimidated by his confidence and outgoing aura. It was hard to explain, Miles, he dared you to join in his flirting game without even having to speak a word. Just one look and you could see from his grin that he didn’t have a care in the world.

“What do you know?” Alex asked through the duvet that his his brewing blushes. Miles listed off endless 90s songs, classics and some Alex hadn’t heard of before. The list was completely forgotten by the end, Alex realized he hadn’t been listening to what Miles was saying at all, instead he was listening to _how_ the boy was saying these words. How deliciously thick his accent was. How his lips still looked pink in the morning.

“Al?” Alex’s trail of thought was cut like the silence he was unknowingly leaving Miles in.  
“Ehh,” Alex only remembered a handful of titles (these being the ones where Miles’ accent shone through most) “I Want You,” he says after some thought. Deciding between ‘I wanna hold your hand’ and this.

“alrigh’,” Miles shuffled as he sat, adjusting himself around his guitar and randomly strumming before getting into the song. At this point Alex sort of wished he didn’t put the light on, she he could smile as much as he wanted to without fear of Miles thinking he was a bit of a looney, luckily for him Miles was looking at his guitar most of the time, only ever looking up to the screen and camera every now and then to check on Alex, smirking if he wasn’t singing at the time.

“ _I want you, I want you so bad. I want you, I want you so bad. It’s driving me mad, it’s driving me mad,_ ” Alex felt his heart pumping with something he didn’t know what, like when you order something online, like a shirt, and you’ve been fantasizing about it for weeks, thinking how amazing it’s will look and feel. Like you just _need_ it right now. (Don’t lie, it will get to the point where you feel like it will improve your life) Delivery feels like a lifetime away so you end up dreaming of waking up to a package at the door, then one day is does and you skip running to get scissors or a knife and you try to open it with your bare hand. That point, right there, right then, is what Alex could feel. Miles’ voice was the metaphorical shirt; silky, smooth and soft at points that fit so well. Alex happily entertained the idea that the lyrics meant something… Man, that would be amazing. Again the slight jealousy of his ex’s brewed up again but he was too absorbed in watching the bed-headed, 90% naked boy serenading him from his bathroom that was just meters away from him.

_“I want you, I want you so bad, babe_ ,” Miles closed his eyes as he strummed and tipped his head back as he sung, showing off his long neck and Adam’s apple that was hard to take your eyes off. The hickey was long gone, thankfully, leaving Alex to imagine leaving his own markings… No, Alex shook his head, that was wrong. He shouldn’t be having those thoughts, it could be worse, a lot worse, but he had already come to the decision that Miles would _never_ see him the way he did. No way would a head boy who was always brimming with self esteem and had coolness that was hard to match, ever get that close with just some quiet English student.  
Alex caught himself daydreaming again, Miles’ singing making it so easy to slip away, but he brought himself back to watch the boy, kind of wishing he was _recording this…_

_“She’s so heavy, she’s so heavy. Heavy, heavy, heavy,”_ Miles held the notes out and strummed an ending, looking up at the camera once he’d done, looking through his fringe that was flopping over his eyes. “Thoughts?”  
“I knew you’d be amazing, I called it,” Alex grinned under his duvet, always feeling awkward complimenting people. Miles smiled to himself and dragged a hand through his hair, looking at the floor, showing off his dark eyelashes.  
“Cheers, I’ll be looking forward to that coffee tomorrow.”  
“It were worth it,” content now with knowing how Miles sang (beautifully)… And how he looked in the morning (even more beautiful), but he kept that bit to himself.  
“I should probably go get dressed now, the bell's gonna go in a minute and I wanna get in the canteen before everyone else,” Miles stood up and moved the camera so it wasn’t just his waist in the camera, accidentally flaunting his cheetah print pants. Before they could trade their routine farewells, someone came in to Miles’ bathroom but because of the way Miles was holding his phone Alex couldn’t tell who it was, until they spoke.


	8. Chapter 8

"Will you stop flirting and let me use to bloody bathroom," Nick’s voice was heard through the speaker, Alex laughed silently.

“Mornin’ to you too, Nick,” he picked up his voice so he could hear. Nick grabbed the phone off Miles and looked at Alex through the camera. Nick looked no different, his hair unaffected by sleep, leaving the only thing to suggest he’d just woken up was his mildly pissed off looking face.

“Look at you two, semi naked singing to each other in the bathroom. I swear to god, I’ve had to listen to just Miles’ half of your phone calls for the last two weeks and I have no idea what you’re even talking about most of the time. I mean, yesterday you were either on about the last episode of Hollyoaks or Geordie Shore whatever, or you were on about what you get up to when I’m not around and quite frankly, I don’t wanna know,” Alex struggled to hide his laughter, Miles was in the background behind Nick, pulling faces and mimicking him.

“Alright, alright, you’ve ‘ad your moan, gimmie my phone,” Miles made grabby hands at his roommate and walked off into his room. “See you at break then.”

“For a kiss behind the bike sheds!” Nick shouted from behind the bathroom door.

“Piss off,” Miles rolled his eyes with a smile, letting Alex say bye before canceling the call. Luckily the call ended before Alex's cheeks had a chance to turn bright pink from Nick’s words. He knew he was joking but… putting an idea like that in someones head is dangerous.

Back in Alex’s dorm, a few knocks came from the other side of the door.  
“The fuck are you doin’ in there?” Matt tried the door handle, Alex pulled himself off the floor (still in his duvet) and undid the lock, opening the door to see Matt dressed in his uniform with his eyebrows furrowed. A few seconds of silence passed between them, partially for Alex to try and suss out what time it was (Matt was usually last to be dressed and the bell had only just wrung as he opened the door) and partially for Matt to work out why Alex was cocooned in his bed sheets in the bathroom on his phone at this time. Jamie was sat up in his bed, messy haired and still half asleep, making his way to the kettle. Only pausing in his tracks to look at the other boys.

“What?” Alex broke the silence that was dragging out way too long, looking at Jamie for an answer. He wasn’t much help, he just shrugged and flicked the kettle on, standing beside it with his arms crossed.  
“Were you talking to Miles again?” Matt took a guess (a pretty safe bet, to be fair)  
“Yeah?” Alex said in a way that made Matt look like the weird one.  
“You talk to him more than you do with me,” he shook his head, smiling, as he pushed past Alex to use the bathroom. “Go get dressed.”  
“Yes, mother.”

The next morning played out differently, Alex got dressed once he woke (which was later than usual this morning, maybe because he knew he was going to lose his warm bed) and typed a quick message for Miles

**‘Getting ur coffee now, I expect to be warmed once I get back’**

He didn’t wait for a reply and left his dorm. Denise wasn’t at her desk, luckily, and it was a Saturday so the students could do what they wished (in moderation, of course) but Alex still tiptoed through the school house and left without waking anyone. Since Alex had last been out during the night, he had spotted a coffee shop down the street from the Deli and saw that it was open from 6 til 8. He made his way down to the shop and entered. A bell hung above the door and jingled when anyone entered, playing the same tune when Alex came in. The first thing that hit you was the strong smell of coffee, real coffee, not the powdered stuff, and a quiet playlist playing behind the counter where a red-haired girl was stood in a yellow apron reading something on her phone.  
“Oh, morning,” she said as she lifted her head at the noise of the bell “What can I get you? We don’t get many people in this early,” Alex looked at the chalkboard menu above the coffee machines, taking time to think after greeting the girl good morning. Luckily Miles’ order was there, along with Alex’s much less complex coffee choice of just a regular.

“Sorry to lay this on you so early, you’re gonna hate me for it but can I get a Grande soya macchiato with caramel shots and extra foam, please?” He quickly added his coffee along with something for Matt and Jamie “Also two lattes and a tea?” Alex winced as he asked, waiting for her to roll her eyes and sigh.  
“Ooh, I like a challenge,” she said to Alex’s surprise.  
“It’s not my order, I’m just the messenger pigeon,” he laughed, not wanting anyone to hold a death wish against him.  
“It’s alright,” she began clattering around with pots and cups “MIKE?!” She yelled towards an open door at the other end of the counter.  
“YUP?” A deep voice came in reply, a tall man with dark skin and a vivid blue streak dyed in his sticking up fringe, came from the door. “Alright?” He nodded at Alex.  
“Can you do a grande soya macchiato with caramel shots and extra foam for me,” the red haired girl grinned at the mans look of disapproval.

“Always making me do the long ones, eh?” He moved much faster, turning on machines left, right and centre. Steam flowed from three different places and whirring followed after. He filled a cup with the coffee color that, to be frank, Alex had seen enough of after spending so long in the same coloured rooms. The shots went in and the foam on top. One after the other, coffee cups were piled on a tray in front of Alex, each with their own flow of steam.

“D’you want me to write names on them?” The man flicked a lid off the pen that had been clipped to his yellow apron.  
“Please, er, Miles on the macchiato, Alex on the latte with the shots, Matt on other and Jamie on the tea.”  
The server nodded, and scribbled named as Alex spoke.

“Tell this 'Miles' that I’ve got a bone to pick with him,” the man joked, laughing. “Come again sometime mate.”  
“I think I might,” Alex held the cardboard cup holder with caution and looked over towards the poster behind the red haired girl, hinting to the man at what he meant. The poster read: ‘AFTERNOON WORKERS NEEDED, come in when you like for an application or if you would like to find out more information’ written in bold.

“Ah sweet, do you want an application now or? You can hand it in whenever, here,” the man took a few papers stapled together and slotted them between the coffee cups Alex was holding.  
“I’m a student up at the school,” Alex nodded his head in the direction of the FallCourt Academy “that doesn’t matter, does it?” The girl shook her head, saying that they were taking anyone and could work with his timetable. Alex smiled as a farewell, unable to wave, and left the café. He walked back up the hills with the warm coffees acting like gloves against the cold winds.

“Goodness, its only just turned seven o’clock, Alex, you’ve been out already?!” Denise was sat at her desk once Alex had returned, she was eating a slice of toast over her desk (getting crumbs _everywhere_ that was irritating Alex but he chose to ignore it).  
“I had an agreement with someone, I would’ve gotten you a drink if I knew I’d see you, Denise,” the student smiled as the secretary commented on his kindness “and I wouldn’t know what you like.”  
“I’m a cappuccino person, me.”

* * *

  
-Knock Knock-

Alex was waiting outside room 2a, he had left Matt and Jamie’s drinks on their shared bedside table, leaving a note saying ‘Morning, Dickheads’ and signed his name so they weren’t left wondering who’d broken into their dorm to leave a beverage that would most likely be cold by the time thier lazy arses were up.

-Knock Knock-

Eventually the door opened and Miles was stood in some jeans he’d obviously just been pulling on during the few moments between Alex knocking and now.  
“Mornin’,” his smile was bright, he opened the door wider to let Alex in. “That me coffee?”  
“As ordered,” the english student held it out for him.  
“Mmm, you’re a darlin’,” their fingers brushed for a second as the cup was passed between them, Miles’ fingers were warm and soft against Alex’s, that to be fair, were beginning to numb around his knuckles. “Jesus, you’re cold, sit on the bed or something,” Miles waved his hand in that general area, blowing the steam that was dying down and taking a sip. Alex drank his own coffee and they hmm-ed in approval in unison. “Good stuff, where did you get it from? I don’t recognise the cups.”

“I saw a little café down from the deli a couple nights ago. Thought I’d try it out.”  
“When you say ‘down from the deli’ do you mean the coffee place that's, like, three hills away?”  
“Yeah…”  
“You went that far? for coffee? on a morning like this?” Miles put his cup down and started rummaging around for a shirt in his drawers (Not that Alex minded a shirtless Miles) and he sat beside him as Nick began to stir. He opened his eyes, in his bed from across the room.

“Oh, fucking hell,” he closed his eyes again and rolled over.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Miles chuckled to himself before drinking.  
“I wake up every morning and it just progresses, first I see you texting at the speed of light, then phone calls, then videos, now you’re in ‘ere before I even open me eyes. I don’t wanna wake up tomorrow to see what you’re doing next,” Nick dismissed with an waving hand gesture.

“Theres no end with you, is there?” Miles and Alex had shared eye contact, that broke into laughter but ended in a serious exchange in looks… Miles broke it with his questions, and Alex with his coffee.  
“Just saying, this exact thing happened with the last people I shared a dorm with… maybe I’m some kind of cupid,” Nick lay in silence, either in genuine thought over him being cupid or he was falling asleep again… turns out it was neither of these and he propped himself looking Alex straight in the eye (unintentionally making him feel personally attacked) “Where’s _my_ drink, eh?”

* * *

  
The next time Alex looked out the window he saw that the sun was beginning to set, painting the sky a perfect blend of vibrant oranges that danced below peach pinks and strong purples, all under a cobalt blue and indigo clouds. The day had flown by but it still felt like just hours ago they were huddled together in Miles’ attempt to warm Alex up. It worked wonderfully.

“Oh shit,” Miles said out of the blue “I completely forgot what we were supposed to do today,” somehow over the course of the day they had ended up with Alex lying across the bed and Miles on top of him the other way round so his head was resting in the dip of Alex’s back. Miles had sat up and dragged his guitar out from the bed, Alex got on his knees and ‘crawled’ over to him, sitting behind Miles. “Come ‘ere” Miles patted the bed beside him. Alex swung his legs over and sat right up against him, letting Miles pass over his guitar for him to hold. “Put your hand here. and here,” Miles’ arms guided Alex’s from behind, putting one hand along the neck of the guitar and the other by the sound hole “Relax, don’t be so stiff. Here, put your forearm up on the body. That’s it. Palm on the bridge,” Alex tried his best to loosen up, he was scared Miles could hear his heart beat quickening. Alex was almost sat on Miles’ knee, his arms draped around his back while he spoke down Alex’s neck, for Gods sakes. “Put your thumb here, and fingers round here,” Alex’s breaths were shallowing and he knew it, despite his best attempts at playing it cool.”Okay, heres the pick, hold it like this,” Alex took it from him and mirrored Miles’ techniques, he picked the strings that Miles pointed to. Miles was telling him the letters but Alex was paying little attention, he was focussing more on trying-not-to-focus on the feeling of warmth mixed with cologne radiating from the boy. “Try E, A, D, G, B, E a couple times over, one after the other,” Alex looked Miles dead in the eye with a blank expression “Thats just the strings in order, Al,” he whispered, shaking his head with a smile.  
“Sorry, I’m having a hard time concentrating,” Alex tried to justify his lack of attention, only realising that Miles could have taken what he said in a way he didn’t mean. “I mean, I,”  
“I know,” Miles said, probably to shut him up, he spoke a few more words of encouragement to fill a silence “Good, now just keeps doing that, over and over again until you can pick up some speed. Yeah like that, put your fingers on these frets,” Miles moves Alex’s fingers and placed them where they needed to be.

The english student had gotten used to the feeling of Miles’ arm around him, the feeling of the bed sinking slightly, pushing them even closer together. He played until his fingers felt sore from pressing on the strings and his wrist was beginning to ache a little. Miles picked up on this when he had paused to flex his hand. “I forget the ache you get first time learning, you get used to it but you’ve done loads today. What do you think?”  
“I think you’re a good teacher,” Alex handed back the guitar.  
“I think you’re a flatterer,” Miles got off the bed to put it away, leaving Alex’s side, so only coldness replaced his warm spot.  
“I think you enjoy it,” Alex raised his eyebrows.  
“I think you got me there.”

Alex slept well that night, as did Miles. Both laying in bed with smiles on their faces across dorms from each other.

Alex woke with a smile too.

Throughout his classes Alex knew he was daydreaming in each of them, up to now he’d usually curse at himself and shake himself back into the ‘real world’ but his mind was determined to replay that evening over and over. You don’t ‘just forget’ Miles Kane, nah, he sticks in your head until it’s too late and you’ve fallen just a tiny little bit in love with him.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think of this overall because I'm not sure :/  
> TY xx


	9. Chapter 9

Dannii noticed whenever Alex was staring off into space, twiddling his pen in his fingers absentmindedly, smiling every now and then.  
“You,” she whispered, poking Alex’s arm “Alex Turner, you have a crush,” she smiled at him with a ‘told you so’ kind of face. Alex was silent, neither confirming or denying that. “Oh come on! It’s written all over your face,” she tried to get Alex to admit it. “I’m studying psychology too, you know, I can tell when someone’s got love on their mind. Especially you,” Alex felt himself close in a little bit then, people getting into your head when you are unaware of it would make most people feel self conscious. “Alright, I’ll leave you alone. I’m just saying though, if you have, what’s the worst that could happen? Have a little fun, that’s what crushes are supposed to be.”

Dannii knew what she was doing, she was smarter than what people gave her credit for. She was right, and Alex’s ‘symptoms’ (that’s what she liked to call the qualities in people that made them easy to read) were getting stronger. One week later, he was smiling almost the whole lesson, that’s abnormal for anyone in school at times before the sun barely was up.

Week two and Dannii started asking him causal questions to try and figure out who it was. It didn’t take long until she noticed how Alex never let Miles slip from conversations, she asked more questions that slowly directed towards Miles but Alex didn’t seem to notice because he was too engrossed in heavily discussing him.  
Week three, Alex was writing his name everywhere, in margins of pages to then scribble it out so his books didn’t have his name all over then (but he scribbled out in a rhythmical way, lovingly and slowly as it was actually him on the page). Alex had only noticed that he was doing this the second time round, he did it when he wasn’t thinking about anything, when he was unaware of the fact that he was even doing it.

"Dannii, I think you might be right," Alex admitted it, there was no point fighting it. Miles had him wrapped around his finger and on his knees, he knew it, not denying anything at this point. Dannii just smiled, nothing more, she stuck her chin in the air and smiled, smiled.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I studied you for my exam.”

“You what?”

“For my psychology coursework. I’m sorry but you were too good of a subject not to study, and if I told you then my data would’ve been all wrong,” Dannii got out her folder from her bag ”it’s all anonymous anyway, Miles won’t know. Not from me anyway.”

“How did you know who it was?” Alex felt his cheeks flush a little as he thought back to when he might’ve told her about Miles.

“Alex,” she rolled her eyes “Did you _really_ think you were being subtle?” Alex was silent for a second.

“I’d be stupid to say yeah, wouldn’t?”

“Yeah, you would,” Dannii nodded “So, now you’ve finally taken your damn time in admitting it, What’re you gonna do about it?”

“Nothin’,” Dannii's face fell into an unimpressed expression.

“Really?! Jesus, you’re head over heels and you’re not gonna do shit about it?”

“Well--”

“Don’t even try to tell me he’s out of your ‘league’” Dannii cut him off before he could defend himself.

“I just-- he’s-- I,” Alex struggled to look for words. He’d thought about this a lot and figured it was best to save himself any embarrassment and the risk of making their friendship awkward by even considering to attempt getting any closer with Miles. Over the past few weeks when they’d sit together with just Miles’ guitar getting in the way, Alex would become hyper-aware of how close they were and how often Miles would touch him, forcing himself to edge away a little (as much as that hurt to do). He couldn’t bear the possibility of Miles getting suspicious, best keep things under covers… right?

Dannii left Alex to debate with himself for the rest of the lesson (after letting him know how much of a mistake she thought he was making, of course). She struggled to focus, more bothered about a certain someones inability to be spontaneous than analysing the same protagonist of the same story for the trillionth time. Okay, it wasn’t Alex’s fault that he thought too deeply about things or that he worried a lot but… it’s been long enough and there’s nothing standing in the way so… why not?

“Text me over the holidays, yeah? I need to know when you get it on,” Dannii said her goodbyes to Alex, they had no classes left together got the rest of the week until the first term came to it’s end. The October break was up and coming, soon all students got to go home to family for Halloween break (mostly to take dirty washing home to be cleaned) but Alex couldn’t wait to get back to Sheffield, see his parents.

“Well that’s not happening so I shan’t be texting you,” Alex stuck his chin in the air with a face that showed he was messing with her.

“Boys!” she muttered under her breath, shaking her head.

Miles was waiting outside the classroom when they left, usually he was late out of his music classes so Alex was left pleasantly surprised. He was left in his brief moment of thinking ‘oh my god, he waited for me,’ until he heard Dannii snickering lightly behind him.

“See you later then, Alex,” She nudged him and made a point of winking, hinting at Miles. Alex mouthed a ‘Shut up’ in return, she got the message and left them to it.

“Hey,” Miles smiled and pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against “How’re you?”

“Alrigh’, you?”

“Dying for a smoke. Come on, lets go out,” Miles dragged Alex along by wrapping his arm around his waist. Alex was totally okay with this and would’ve gone along anyway but he put up a slight struggle just to get Miles to hold him for just a little longer. His hand felt… right, if that’s a word you could use to explain it. It just felt like that’s how it should be, afterall, it fit in the slight curve of Alex’s hip so well why shouldn’t it be there at all times?

They got outside and Miles led Alex around the side of the school to where the big bins from the canteen were kept for picking up, the sheds with sports equipment in and, obviously, the classic bike sheds.

“Oi, piss off,” Miles shooed away two kids that were messing around behind the sheds, Alex couldn’t see what they were doing (most likely something illegal) but they slumped off after muttering a few curse words in Miles’ direction. “Twats,” Miles muttered back whilst he fumbled with his pockets and pulled out the box of cigarettes and lighter, igniting his smoke and filled his lungs. “What are you doin’ over the break then?”

“Nothing, Matt’s probably gonna drag me to a Halloween party.”

“Not trick or treating then?” Miles balanced his cigarette in his smile.

“Maybe… actually, probably yeah. Not many people throw parties now.”

“I’d pay good money to see that. What you going as? Dracula? You’ve got the hair for it,” Miles blew smoke out the corner of his mouth and sniffed, gently kicking the gravel with the heel of his shoe.

“Maybe, but if I do, the first person I’m going to drain of blood will be you if you carry on taking the piss.”

“What if I’m into that though?”

“Well then you’d die happy.”

“Mmm,” Miles rolled his eyes, smirking. Alex was thankful for the coldness reddening his cheeks, it meant Miles couldn’t see his blush. Spending so much time with Miles over the past couple of months made his flirtatious nature rub off on him, the amount of innuendos between the two multiplied as the weeks passed by. “You’d have a hard time finding me though.”

“Why?”

“I’m going on holiday,” Miles tapped his cigarette on the door handle of the shed, letting the grey ash float down onto the dark gravel. “Well, I _say_ holiday but it’s more a week long stay further North, the whole week I’ll be stuck somewhere in Scotland. Me grandma’s moving house and she’s asked us to visit.” he sighed and flicked the last of his cigarette on the ground, twisting his heel into it, letting the end smoulder on the cold ground. “Usually I wouldn’t mind but… Her house is in the middle of nowhere so I’m probably not gonna have any internet or phone signal for the whole bloody time,” Miles looked at the other boy with an expression of apology, his eyebrows arched and his eyes grew wide like those of a puppy, painting his face with a ‘Forgive me’. Alex felt his stomach drop a little, partly because of the deep brown eyes staring at him and partly because he knew he wouldn’t have the same reason to wake up in the mornings for 9 days.

“Oh,” was all that managed to slip from between Alex’s lips.

“I’m sorry,” Miles shuffled closer to him, the gravel crunching beneath his shoes as he did.

“It’s cold, can we go back inside?” Alex wanted to take his mind of things for a while and staying here felt like it wouldn’t achieve anything. And he was cold, that wasn’t a lie. Miles smiled in the way he did, just the corner of his mouth curling. it was quite endearing, the way he smiled. Miles stood so they were toe to toe, Alex and Miles were roughly the same height, making staring into each others eyes pretty much inevitable ( _especially_ when each others eyes were so sparkly and alluring), Alex shifted his gaze though, reminding himself of the fact that he probably shouldn’t be getting in too deep. Too late, obviously, but the less time he spent getting dreamy equalled the less pain he felt thinking about how much he wished he could see that every second. As if Miles could read Alex’s thoughts, he did the complete opposite of what Alex wanted him to do: Miles put his hands of each of Alex’s arms and stroked his hands up and down in his best attempt to warm him up. Alex’s shoulders froze and he stiffened, his cheeks warmed at the same rate of his arms under Miles’ touch. God, this was ridiculous.

“What’s up, Alex?” Miles looked at him with concern in his eyes.

“Hmm?” the student scuffed his shoes, looking down at the floor and glancing at Miles’ hands still pressing his own arms against himself.

“You’ve seemed so distant recently, is everything alright?”

The first thing that came to Alex’s head was ‘Fuck. He’s figured it out.’ “N-nothin’, can we go?”

* * *

“Later, Jamie.”

“Later boys,” the dorm rooms were much emptier now that they all had packed their washing and belongings that were usually strewn across the floor miscellaneously (Alex was the tidiest out of the three but only just). Matt had called a cab to the trainstation and he was sat at the window waiting for it to turn up.

“Can I just go say good-bye to someone?” Alex rolled his suitcase up beside Matt, who hummed in return that Alex took as a ‘yeah’.

The english student stood outside room 2a and knocked, three times.

“Al!” Miles was in the process of buttoning his shirt when he opened the door, he stopped midway to pull Alex into a hug. Alex had precisely two seconds to decide to either make the hug last and relish in it or break away. He went with the former, resting his chin on Miles' broad shoulder and wrapping his arms around his waist that was so slim it he could barely feel him, just his silk shirt that hung perfectly off his delicate frame. Miles’ cologne that was sprayed on his neck previously was drifting its way into Alex’s lungs, the strong woody scent danced around the two and Alex hoped it would weave it’s way into his own clothes so Miles’ smell would linger a little longer. Alex sighed.

“What’s up?” Miles broke the hug.

“I think I’m falling into one hell of a crush with you,” Alex thought silently “Just leaving soon, thought I’d say bye, you know,” is what he said out loud.

“Yeah, I was just thinkin’ it’ll be a bit weird not waking up to ya voice,” Miles bent down to tie his shoelaces “Geez, we might as well be an old marri-”

“AL, CAB’S HERE, HURRY UP!” Matt called from down the hall.

“Better let you go then.”

“Yeah.”

“See you in November, Al, have a good one.”

* * *

Nothing much occupied Alex’s mind from then to when he stepped of the train and inhaled the air, convinced that the air Sheffield was a million times better. His mum was waiting on the platform and held her arms open, a smile shining across her face.

“Hello darling,” She hugged him and took his bags, she insisted on carrying them. “So, how was it? Everything okay there?” Alex told her about the array of teachers and students, what the town was like and the dorm,. He had consciously not mentioned Miles yet (which was harder than It sounded, afterall, Miles was mostly involved in everything that he did) “Any new friends?” The question was bound to come and there was no way Alex could miss Miles out.

“Yeah, eh,” Alex spoke about Dannii, Jamie and Nick briefly, speaking more intensely about Miles. “He’s the head boy, about my height, brown hair with the little curls at the side, y’know, brown eyes. He showed me around town and the school.” Alex started his description. Soon, as he got deeper into his thoughts, his hand gestures got more dramatic. That happened whenever Alex spoke about anything he was passionate about. “He’s in the dorm across from mine, I speak to him every-”

“Alex, honey.”

“Yeah?” he looked at his mother for the first time since he’d started talking, pausing with his hands mid-gesture. He only realised now how deep into a conversation he’d gotten (accept this conversation was more one sided).

“We’re home. You haven’t stopped talking since we left the station, it’s great to have you back and all but I’ve never heard you speak so much in one go before,” his mum shook her head as he opened the front door for her, smiling to show she didn’t really mind. It was great to have her son back, bright and happy with a lot to speak about. “You should invite this Miles over sometime, you seem to have gotten along like a house on fire. What’s he doing this holiday?” Alex pursed his lips a little when he remembered.

“Scotland.”

“Ah, shame.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't decide if I like the way this ended up or not, either way, I hope its not disappointing :)

Alex sat on his bed, stomach filled contently with homemade pie which was a blessing after living off the schools budget meals, there’s only so many plates of cheap curry one can consume. There was a streetlamp right outside his window that was set on a timer, turning on at 6pm in winter and 9pm in summer (Alex had noticed the pattern like he noticed everything else around him) it flooded his small bedroom with an amber coloured glow, pouring through the window and seeping through the thin curtains making everything seem like it belonged in a movie. He was cross-legged, sinking into his bed with his notebook sat on his knee, a pen between his fingers like a cigar. No words were coming out onto the page, his mind was blank and he was considering on calling it a night and heading to sleep. As he stood to undress, a harsh white light cut through the soft amber and a ringing sliced through the silence. Alex clambered over his bed to reach the phone, Miles was calling and Alex answered with confusion.

“Miles?”

“Al!” his voice came through crackly.

“I thought you were going straight to Scotland?”

“Yeah, as soon as you left, me mum arrived and we’ve been driving for ages. We’re at some service station and they’ve got signal so, I figured I’d talk to you while I still can.”

“Oh,” Alex smiled, fiddling with his bed sheets.

“I ain’t got long though, she said she just needs to go to the toilet so I’ve only got a few minutes. She wants me to pick up a coffee too so I’m gonna ‘ave t’ multitask. How are you anyway, back in Sheffield, right?”

“Yeah, it’s good to be home, it’s weird though… quiet.”

“Yeah, that’s the thing with being an only child, innit. Hang on, let me just order this,” Miles pressed the phone against his chest and Alex just heard his muffled coffee order.

“Miles?” Alex knew this was the last he’d hear from him for eight more days.

“Yeah?”

“Is it okay if I say something?”

“Well, eh, I did call you, Al. Not to have a one sided conversation, I hope,” Miles balanced his phone between his shoulder and his cheek to take the coffee’s off the server. “Oh bugger, Mum’s here. I’ve got probably thirty seconds Al… Al?” Alex was silent, his heart was beating heavily with the rush feeling he was getting, rising from his stomach to his throat.

“Miles.”

“Yeah?”

“Miles, I like you.” Alex spat out his words quicker than he’d ever spoken before.

“Well, I should hope so, afterall you-”

“No, Miles. I mean, I _like_ you, like you.”

“You mean… as in…?” Miles left large spaces between his words " _Like_ like as in... really _really_?"

“Yeah, I- I mean that. At least, I think I do, it’s complicated... Well, no it’s not… it’s pretty fucking clear to me but I...” Alex was struggling to make sense, his throat was making it hard to speak clearly and he was way too far into this hole he’d dug to clamber out.

-Silence-

“Miles?”

“Alex, I gotta go but-”

“Please.”

“See ya,” Miles’ voice faded out before the ended the call, leaving Alex in the dark silence of his room, just his phone warm across his ear. His mouth grew dry and his throat closed up, like he was choking on the feelings he had repressed for months and pretty much just vomited up.

He fell asleep. Eventually. His pillow a little damp, just a little. Not half as dampened as his spirits. Alex overthought things anyway but at night before he slept, that was when his brain was thrown into overdrive.

“You bloody idiot, Alex Turner, throwing away the second best friendship you’ve ever had, and for what? Did you really think Miles Kane would ever think twice for you? Did you really think he’d care? My god, I hope someone pities you. Actually, maybe someone already does. Maybe it’s Miles, he pities you and that’s the only reason why he ever bothered to give you his time of day. And now you’ve made a great big fool of yourself and let your head take things too far. Well-fookin’-done.”

He woke up late that morning, groaning at the light as he pushed himself up onto his pillows so he was sitting upright. Perhaps he’d thought too far last night, Miles didn’t say anything negative, although, he didn’t say anything positive either. But it wasn’t the end of the world, surely. He rubbed at his eyes that felt a little raw and ruffled his hair, still slick with grease from the gel he’d failed to wash out. Today seemed like a day he’d waste, nothing felt appealing and there was nowt to do.

Matt came over, he left pretty soon though to go out. He tried to get Alex to tag along to one of the clubs that the bouncers let him in to but Alex insisted, telling Matt he’d just be a wet blanket and he was feeling a bit down.

“Alright, well. I’ll see you tomorrow if I’m up for it, later mate.”

He came over again.

“I were on the vodka last night so I’m ai’ght today, what d’you wanna do?”

He left again after Alex made him watch a string of films.

“Al, there’s only so many Wild West orientated films I can watch in one sitting.”

He called the next day.

“I’m comin’ over because mum’s drivin’ me mad. There anythin’ you want me to get?”

“Ice cream.”

“it’s October.”

“You asked.”

“Alex, you never eat ice cream anyway.”

“I do too.”

“Yeah, there was that one time when you ate it by the gallon after you and Lex didn’t work out. I still can’t believe you barely gained a pound after that.”

“Natural physique.” Alex could hear Miles saying that, plain as day, on one of the first days when he started 6th form.

“Alright, fine. What kind?"

“Something unhealthy.”

“Gotcha.”

Matt came back with a bag full of Ben and jerry’s ice cream, the ones with the ‘cores’. Extra fatty as Alex required. He came with a selection of his own DVDs because he assumed, ahead of plans, that Alex wouldn’t want to leave the house again and he was not down for more of ‘Three Men From Texas’ or whatever. He could quote most of ‘The Good the Bad and the Ugly’ after being friends with Alex this long.

Matt was used to Alex’s random series of wanting to stay inside, Matt got cabin fever easily but he was good enough of a friend to sit through it for him. He never asked questions either, usually putting it down as his poetic emotions going out of control (his ‘time of the month’ of Matt liked to put it).

“We are going out on Friday though, aren’t we?” Matt asked with a mouth full of ice cream. They were on their second tub by now and on the third film, Alex’s mother had come into the front room to see the two boy slumped together in the corner of their large sofa multiple times, smiling before she left. Friday was October 31st, Halloween. Every year Matt and Alex had dressed up and walked around the neighbourhood, knocking on doors and getting buckets of sweets by the end of their ‘outing’.

“Definately. What are we gonna go as this year?”

“I dunno, we need some new stuff though. We can go down to that weird shop tomorrow and get summin’.”

And that’s what they did. Alex’s mother hugged him before he left, she also had picked up on how quiet he was lately.

“You’ve been thinking a lot, haven’t you? is it school? What’s causing you worry, darling?”

“Nothing, Mum… Can I borrow some money for me halloween stuff?”

“Alright. Don’t be back late though, I need you to help me decorate. Take some money for sweets too please.”

“Leave your phone, Al.” Matt was stood in the hall, waiting to go. Alex had his phone clutched in his hand, he’d been checking it relentlessly since, eh, he spoke to Miles last. He still had the undying hope that Miles would text or call, his heart jumping whenever his phone lit up with a notification thinking it was him, frowning whenever it was a false alarm (which was every time). “Alex,” Matt walked over and prized his phone off him, laying it on top of the bookcase, taking great pleasure in the fact that Alex was too tiny to reach. “Come on, you need to get out of the house.”

Alex felt exposed while walking down the street, phoneless, he was edgy all the way to the little store. It was down a side alley on the way to town, unidentifiable brown liquids running down the walls and mixing with the puddles on the pavement under the green wheelie bins.

“Euck, it reeks of piss,” Matt mumbled. they walked into the shop and a strange incense was burning near the entrance, leaving the room a musky, smoke filled mess of novelty items and creepy nic-nacs. A series of masks hung from the wall, ranging from werewolves to frankensteins, mummies to skeletons. Fake Blood, goo, vampire teeth, contact lenses and make up face paints were displayed on shelves and tables. It was so dimly lit you’d think you were in Hollister.

“Oh Al, I know what I’m being this year,” Matt’s voice came from behind Alex who was busy looking at fake scars. Matt tapped his shoulder and he turned around, nearly jumping out of his skin when his eyes lay upon the mask Matt had chosen. from the nose up, Matt was his normal self, but his mouth was dislocated and dropping down to his chest, teeth broken and tongue limp and hanging freely.

“That’s disgusting…” Alex scrunched his nose “It’s perfect.”

Alex looked on at the masks, considering the minotaur and zombie, quickly changing his mind after seeing the price. Eventually he settled on an unusual choice of just a regular old man mask. Bald cap, hat, beard, moustache and glasses.

“Really?” Matt asked, after taking his own mask off.

“Yeah, I’ve got the clothes already, as you constantly remind me,” it was true, Matt often commented on how Alex’s fashion choice was much like that of a man in his late 70s.

They paid the shifty looking guy that ran the shop and made a quick escape, the inence starting to have a dizzying effect on the boys.

“Where are we gonna get the sweets from then?” Matt pulled the tags of his items.

“Somewhere cheap.”

That’s exactly where they went, good old ‘PoundLand’, huge bag of candy as cheap as chips. They returned back to Alex’s to find that the porch was already covered in cobwebs and pumpkins.

“I thought you wanted me to help?” Alex asked his mother who was pouring the sweets into bowls, ready for Trick or Treaters at the door.

“I didn’t want to wait,” she carried on preparing the final decorations for the front of the house.

“Let’s get dressed then,” Matt began running up the stairs.

“Wait,” Matt did as Alex asked. “You’re forgetting something,” the boy gave him a blank expression “Me phone.”

“You don’t need it. Come on,” Alex rolled his eyes, glancing longingly at the top of the bookcase where his phone lay.

They changed into their costumes, Alex wearing a beige checkered shirt and an old coat, Matt wearing all black. They put on their masks and set out to go Trick or Treating, knowing that they'd probably be the only seventeen year old out tonight no on the booze.

“When do we get too old for this?” Alex asked as they walked down the street, kids with fake blood running down their faces were skipping past houses and there were several toddlers in pumpkin suits waddling along.

“Never.” Matt said with all sincerity “Well, okay maybe soon for you, Old man Jenkins.”

“Shut up.”

“We’ll just have to bring younger kids along or something, make it look like we’re babysitting.”

They walked up to each door, someone different in each house answering. They said their lines and took sweets in return. After visiting each house along Alex’s street they worked their way along the town, with it being late October, the sky was already pitch black and the smell of burning and pumpkins filled the air.

“We should probably get back soon,” Alex said through a yawn.

“Yeah, me pockets are full and I can’t see shit. Is it alright if I crash at yours? I don’t feel like walking home with it being like this.”

They walked all the way back to Alex’s, eating sweets and lollipops, Alex scolding Matt for littering, making him pick up his dropped wrappers.

“Do you want to sleep on the couch or shall I get that blow up bed out?”

“I’ll just pull some cushions into your room.”

“Aiight,” They walked in and kicked their shoes off, Alex wandered into the kitchen and emptied his pockets onto the counter. Dib Dabs, Reese’s, Drumsticks, Parma Violets, Chupa Chups and endless other candies scattered over the worktop.

“Ooh, you got a good lot tonight,” his mother walked in, her slippers scuffing along the hardwood floor. “Alex, I forgot to tell you. Something’s been going crazy on the top of the bookcase. Though I couldn’t see what it was,” being a littler on the shorter side was clearly hereditary. Alex’s stomach twisted and heart rose a little, suddenly eating half his sweets didn’t feel like such a good idea. The thought of it possibly being Miles popped up in his head, he told himself not to get excited but regardless of that he jumped over to where Matt was in the hall (still untying his shoes) and jabbed him in the shoulder.

“ _Please_ can I have me phone, I need it, right now, Matt,” he was bouncing on his heels at this point, thinking of what else it could be, he had already gone through endless false alarms when he heard his text notifications going off but it just turned out to be Dannii, asking how he was getting on. She mentioned Miles, several times, btu Alex dropped the subject, cringing every time he thought about what he’d said to him… there were so many better ways it could’ve come out. He didn’t know what Miles was thinking and that’s what was making Alex so uneasy, the thought of going back to school and having Miles hate him constantly haunted his head.

“alright, alright,” the other boy hobbled over (with just one shoe one) to the bookcase and felt around for the phone. He passed it down to Alex who eagerly pressed the home button, his phone displayed 3 texts, 2 missed calls and one voice message from him,  _Miles_. Alex felt his chest tighten with excitement and anxiousness as he tapped in his password and went to shut himself in the bathroom.

“I’ll help you with the cushions later, Matt, let me just,” he waved his hand, a gesture of dismissal.

Alex stood against the door of the bathroom and opened his messages. Heart starting to pick up its pace.  
Miles had tried to call first, then the texts.

**Alex, where r u?**

**I need to speak 2 u. I can’t type it.**

Then another missed call.

**I’ve found signal at this market but I can’t stay, come on, pick up.**

Then he left the voice message.

Alex pressed ‘listen’ after mentally preparing himself as best he could. Deep breaths.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhhhh, this really isn't how I wanted it to be but I've spent so long trying to improve it but nothing good has come out of it. I'm so sorry ;__;

There was a few moments of silence before Miles’ voice came through, in these seconds Alex heard his heart beat slow but loud, pumping with complete anticipation.

“Alex, I don’t know where you are or if you’re ignoring me but… I think I... I think I _like_ like you too, okay? I really think I do, and I _know_ I’ve been out with people by the dozen before but… Alex, I don’t think I’ve crushed this hard before and…” Alex could practically hear Miles running his hands through his hair. “I’m not used to it. So I hope you know what you’re doing with this because I bloody don’t. This week has been - [sigh] - this week has been so weird without hearing from you and I don’t like it, you know, I think I’ve realised that, yeah, maybe I might just want to be with you when I’m alone, maybe I might just be feeling like I’m missing something. It’s cheesy and I hate that it puts me like this because... well, this is unusual for me. Sorry I ended your call the way I did, I wasn’t expecting it and I didn’t know what to do on the spot. Ehm, I should probably stop bothering you, hope you’re good, I’ll see you at school. When you get back there, go to the bike sheds as soon as you arrive, I need to see you, Al.”

The message ended on a buzzing.

The english student was still stood against the bathroom door with his phone in his unsteady hand. He couldn’t remember at which point his heart stopped beating, only now noticing the absence of its pounding in his ears. Alex began to slide down the door, his knees bending until he was sat on the floor against the wall. An emotion had yet to register in his mind, a few of Miles’ words replayed and a smile struggled to hide on Alex’s lips, his cheeks rose as a bright grin widened across his face. He put his phone down and covered his face with both his hands, hiding the pink blush that was burning his cheeks, he ran his hands through his hair and laughed, he genuinely laughed. Unable to contain the feelings that were racing round and round his head, making him dizzy with delight.

Miles Kane, _the_ Miles Kane was flustered over Alex Turner. Both boys were so dumbstruck. Alex felt like he needed to squeal and flail about to free his body of the happiness that he wasn’t big enough to keep under control, but he had to stay composed, Matt and his mum were just in the other room and he was going to be leaving the bathroom red cheeked and messy haired anyway. Nothing was set in stone yet, all they had done was confess that yes, they did have a crush on each other, but Alex didn’t know what that meant in Miles’ eyes. He just had to wait. But for now he was content, more than content, over the moon, with finally hearing Miles’ voice say those words. Everything felt kind of surreal during those moments, Alex had to keep checking that he had in fact understood what Miles was saying.

“Alex, I’m getting tired, if I eat one more packet of fizzers I will vomit foam everywhere,” Matt knocked on the door. Alex struggled to slip his phone back into his pocket, he had to bite on his bottom lip to keep himself from grinning like a butcher’s dog. Alex unlocked the door after he had mentally prepared himself by trying to reduce his breathing, calming his pulse and losing the blush from his cheeks. But every time he thought about it his heart fluttered again, against his will.

“This is so stupid,” he said to his smiling reflection. “Snap out of it, Come on... Oh I can't” Alex gave in and let himself dance a little bit, he had to let go of some of the adrenaline that was blasting around his body. "He likes me, he _like_  likes me," is all that was running through his mind.

Matt pushed the door open and Alex walked out, straight face on as best he could.

“Grab some pillows, I’ll help you bump them up the stairs.”

“Alright then,” Matt looked at Alex shiftily “What was all then about?”

“Hm?”

“Al,” Matt gave an unimpressed look at the boy holding a massive sofa cushion, almost half his height. “Tell me, who it were.”

“No one,” Alex turned to start lifting the cushion up the stairs (and to hide his smile).

“You’re gonna play this game? Again?” Matt rolled his eyes and began taking cushions up too.

They built a makeshift bed for him, blankets and pillows crammed onto the minimal space of Alex’s small bedroom floor.

“D’you think we’ll ever get anywhere, Alex?” matt said through the darkness as they lay in separate beds, trying to sleep but the sugar in their systems making it almost impossible (and the further happiness in Alex making it even harder for him).

“Whad'ya mean?”

“Like, be successful. After school, what have we got? I don’t know what I wanna do for a living…. I don’t want to end up stuck in an office day after day.”

“You know when you said we should sign up for jobs? I’ve filled in an application for that coffee shop near school.”

“Really? when?”

“I haven’t handed it in yet, I only did it this week,” Alex had filled in the form one night when he was bored out of his mind. “It asked if I ‘ad a criminal record.”

“You?” Matt laughed “Yeah, you stole a book from our school library once. Theft isn’t a joke, Alex. And that time you swiped a Dib Dab from the corner store.”

“Eh no, I went back and paid for that, remember?”

“You only realised when you were halfway into it, could’ve saved yourself some cash then.”

“What? 50p?”

“It all adds up.”

They carried on talking until the early hours of the morning, talk of all sorts came up. There’s something about getting into conversations at night that makes talking so much easier, as if it were just you speaking into the night and a comforting voice replying. Before you know it, discussions about Tv turns into political debates which then turn into deep thoughts about the world in general and then finally you find yourself letting out some of your oldest secrets with no hesitation. The night is a weapon like this, it works in a way that you can’t really understand, it’s as if everyone collectively agrees not to bring up in daylight what’s mentioned in the hours of the moon.

“I don’t wanna go back,” Matt flailed his arms around, it was Sunday morning and they were due at the station any minute now. Their bags were chucked into the back of Matt’s Mum’s car. She insisted that she dropped them off because of the rain pouring from the clouds, despite the station only being a short walk away.

Alex hadn’t heard from Miles again, he himself had tried to call and text but he only ever got ‘This number is unavailable at the moment, please try again later.” in return. The only thing going through his head right now was meeting Miles at the bike sheds, he’d tried mentally rehearsing what he was going to say but he couldn’t really do that until he knew for sure where Miles was going to take their imaginary conversation. Alex had made up Miles’ words in his head, different scenarios of how it might turn out, He’d even thought about what might happen if Miles didn’t even turn up. He scrapped that idea as soon as it came up though, Miles wouldn’t do that…. he hoped.

For the duration of the car journey, Alex had his head in the clouds, gazing out the window and watching the raindrops bouncing off the window and splashing into smaller droplets. He stayed in his own little world for an impressive amount of time, even when they had boarded the train Matt had given up on trying to keep a conversation going during the ride and plugged himself into his phone, letting his music become his soundtrack whilst Alex continued to stare out windows.

"Are you gonna talk to me at all today?" Matt asked once they got in the cab. His phone was out of charge already so he had no form of entertainment for the short drive.

“Sorry, I’m just nervous, I guess.”

“What for? It’s only school we’re going to, Al.”

“I’ve got something to do beforehand that I’m a bit worried about.”

“What?” Alex had a few moment to decide whether to tell Matt about it or not, they’d been friends for more years than Alex could remember so what’s the worst that could happen?

“Y’know Miles?”

“Yeah?”

“Ehh, I might have told him I liked him last week… I dunno, it just came out, uplanned,” he waited for a reply.

“And what did Miles say? He’s not gone all weird on you, has he?”

“Nah, he just- he wants to meet me round the side of the school before I go in.”

“Oooh, you getting a bit ‘o the head boy, are ya?” Matt smirked, Alex shot him a glare and nudged him jokingly.

“Shut up.”

“I’m just messing. Does that mean you want me to dump your bags in our dorm for you?”

“Please,” Alex smiled. It was good to have someone that was okay with all this, he remembered the day he told Matt he wasn’t straight. “Oh yeah, I kinda guessed,” he replied “don’t look at me like that, it’s not like you hid it very well. I’ve seen you looking up that guy since you clapped eyes on him,” Matt was his wingman ever since. Just unfortunate how his first boyfriend was a complete dickhead. Alex’s parents had taken it well too, they weren’t surprised either, which left Alex feeling like the surprised one.

That year for his birthday you should’ve seen the gifts he got, all wrapped in blues, pinks and purples. “Ah, I see what you did here. Very nice.” He’d said.

“It was Matt’s idea,” his Dad laughed, sat on his armchair.

The boys kept each other talking until they pulled up to the school.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Try not to shit yourself,” Matt put his hand on the shorter boys shoulder “it’ll be fine, geez, I can feel the anxiousness in the bloody air.” He took both his own and Alex’s suitcases and began wheeling them into the school house. Alex walked close behind, Matt was like a safety blanket to him and so he only left his side once they reached the door.

“Go on Al,” he straightened Alex’s collar and put on his mothering voice “go be a big boy now,” and then in his own voice “don’t do anything I wouldn’t,” to which Alex replied.

“You’re straight, if things go to plan I will hopefully be doing things that you wouldn’t,” Alex laughed as Matt rolled his eyes and walked inside.

It suddenly felt a lot lonelier, outside with no one around. He made his way towards the bike sheds, walking past the front of the school and down the side, he felt his stomach twist a little before he reached the shed. Swirls of smoke were rising above it, he heard someone sniff from where the smoke was coming from. It was Miles. Alex stopped stalling and walked over, he was sat with his head resting against the back of the wall, cigarette hanging loosely between his lips and his legs stretched out.

“Miles?” Alex piped up, shoving his hands in his pockets. The boy jumped, dropping his cigarette and standing up straight.

“Alex,” he gave his sideways smile. “Sorry I never got to speak again.”

“It’s alright,” Alex interrupted “How have you been?” He avoided speak of what Miles said, still unsure over what he wanted.

“I’ve been fine but, that’s not what I wanted to talk about.”

“You don’t have to-“

“No, Alex I want to,” Miles reached out his hand to hold Alex’s wrist, the English student pulled his hand out of his pocket and Miles wrapped his fingers around the other boys. “Are you on the same level that I am? I mean, did you get what was trying to say? I know it was rushed an all but…”

“I think so,” Alex felt his hands begin to warm. “If you don’t want to- if you don’t- if,” he sighed, frustrated. His words were stumbled and messy, they wouldn’t come out like he’d thought they would.

“Alex,” Miles cut through the half sentences that Alex was trying to get out, ending in a muttered mess. “Just stop me if you want,” Miles squeezed his hand as he began to lean forward.

Alex’s heart began to pound and his eyes widened. ‘Oh my god’ was all he could hear. Miles closed the space between them and pressed his lips against Alex’s, he kissed the shorter boys bottom lip, pressing slowly and firmly. Alex had gasped the second before their lips touched, giving Miles total control over him. Alex’s head was a whirlwind of exhilaration, lightheaded and dizzy he tried to steady all the feelings rushing around his body. He attempted to close his mouth, pressing his lips together but only ended up taking more of Miles’ top lip between his own. Miles held on to Alex hips all of a sudden, using the other boy to steady himself from the shock of Alex kissing back.

The head boy broke the kiss reluctantly, he needed to look at Alex for confirmation that this is what he wanted, but before he got a chance to look over his face with his own dilated eyes, Alex took his face in his hands to pull him into a second kiss.

Miles held the base of Alex’s head, spreading his fingers through the short hair, sending sparks down the boys back. Alex rested his hands on Miles shoulders and push himself up into his toes, finishing the kiss on a high before pulling away.

They stood, alone in the cold with their arms on each other for a moment in silence, just their slowly panting breath warming the space between them. Alex was the first to make a sound, he gave a breathy laugh and smiled, feeling the intense buzzing on his lips begin to linger.

“What?” Miles smiled, copying Alex’s laugh.

“I’ve been waiting so long for that to happen,” Alex thought out loud, he felt a rise of happiness stir again, he buried his face in the curve of MIles' neck to hide his face. Miles moved his arms so he was gently hugging the younger boys waist, breathing in the smell of his hair (which was mostly just the smell of his hair gel but Miles didn’t mind that at all since it smelt like soap, a homely kind of aroma) “Are we…?” Alex left his question unfinished.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhh, TY for 1,000 hits, sweet :D

“Are we….?” Miles repeated Alex’s deserted query “A ‘thing’?”

“Yeah,” Alex answered but in a tone that repeated the question back.

“If you want to be,” he kissed the top of Alex’s head, waiting for a response. Alex couldn’t stop himself from showing his joy in a smile, even as he kissed Miles quickly on the cheek before whispering a sweet ‘definitely’. A look of beatitude grew on the head boys face that couldn’t help but fill Alex with adoration. “Here, I saw this in one of the weird markets that me Gran took me to,” Miles dug around in his coat pockets and pulled out something wrapped in a red and white striped paper bag.

Alex took the gift and felt something small inside, something solid against the crumpled bag that rustled in a rebellion against any movement of Alex’s fingers. He unwrapped the bag and pulled out the item to unveil a tiny brown fawn ornament lain in the palm of his hand, it had a tiny, coal black nose at the end of its petit, speckled face in which it’s big, brown eyes took up most of the head. The fawn was a rich brown shade, smooth fake fur coated it’s back, all the way down to the four delicate, black hooves it stood on and short stump of a tail. Two big, wide ears stood proud beside it’s face that also displayed a little, shy smile hidden under it’s nose.

“It reminded me ‘o you,” Miles ran a hand through his hair “I dunno, I think it’s the eyes, all big and sparkly like yours,” Alex bit his lip, that still felt like it was vibrating from the electricity Miles had sent around his head, as he tried to smother the urge to kiss him all over again. The baby deer had long lashes above its glass eyes that Alex could see his reflection in. “Do you like it?” Miles tried to catch his gaze.

“It’s adorable,” Alex smiled, he rarely smiled wide enough to show his teeth but this was one of those rare times that he did, Alex threw his arms around Miles’ neck and pulled his into a hug, he had to balance on his tip toes a little so he could reach Miles’ temple for a kiss.

“I’m sorry I never got you anything,” he stroked the stomach of the ornament.

“Am I aloud to be cheesy and tell you that you’re enough?” Miles grinned as Alex hit him lightly on the arm with a laugh slipping from his lips. “Ow, alright. I guess I should come and help you unpack then.”

Alex lead the way to his dorm where Matt was sat on the floor between two suitcases, one open with clothes tipped out and the other still packed.

“Oh, hey,” Matt turned as he heard the door opened “So... you two are-?” he asked slowly, noticing Miles holding Alex’s hand behind him. Their smiles was enough of a confirmation. “Eh, congrats,” Matt shoved the suitcase across the floor. “Here’s a ‘happy get together’ gift, you get to enjoy the fun of unpacking it!”

“I’ve got someone to help me this time,” the english student pulled Miles into the room and sat him on the bed whilst Alex opened the little wardrobe that both him, Matt and Jamie had to share.

Miles handed Alex his clothes (after looking over them) so he could hang them up.

“Y’avent got enough leather,” he rummaged around the suitcase, only coming across one jacket. “You’ve got enough denim to make up for it though, wow.”

“Yeah, I went through a bit of a phase, it were when I had me longer hair,” Alex said as he stood the fawn ornament on his side of the windowsill.

It wasn’t long until Matt left, stating his reasons for an exit as he did.

“I’ll leave you two to it then, feeling like a bit of a third wheel here,” he joked as he shook Miles’ hand on his way out, whispering a “I told you it would be fine,” to Alex as he passed.

They eventually got to the bottom of Alex’s suitcase, probably taking a lot longer than it should’ve because of Miles’ comments on each of the items.

“What’s this?” The head boy had a few papers in his hands “you’re applying for a job?”

“Yeah, the little coffee place down by town.”

“Oh my god, You’ve got to get hired, I’d give anything to see you as a barista,” Miles flicked through his application form, smiling when he got to the page asking about a criminal record.

“Come wi’ me to drop it off?” Alex slipped the sheet back.

“Are you just using me to help with yer dirty work?” Miles tilted his head “I know I’m supposed to be your boyfriend but, geez,” he smirked “I can call myself that, can’t I?”

Alex couldn’t help but feel a never ending pride in what Miles’d said. They were together, in a relationship that started about half an hour ago. That idea just seemed so weird to him, mostly because he’d been thinking about it a lot for so long that this all still felt like a dream, a lucid one that he didn’t want to wake from just yet.

“Yeah, clearly. Come on,” Alex was still beaming over Miles calling himself his boyfriend.

“Fine, but I’m aloud to complain about being tired because I never slept on the drive back from Scotland,” Miles linked his fingers with the other who then pulled him out the door.

They walked down the roads hand in hand, standing close together so their arms were against each other, you know, as people in new relationships do. They made it into the shop and Miles was more than thankful for the strong smell of coffee, after a walk in the freezing cold he was more awake than he had been since his way back from Scotland (not counting what happened at the bike sheds, that was also a moment where he felt wide awake and never better). Alex held the application form with his one freezing hand and the other still warm after having been held.

The tall man, who was there last time Alex visited, stood at the bar.

“Hey, Alex, right?”

“Yeah, I’ve, eh, got me form,” he handed it over.

“Nice, we’ll probably get back to you by the end of the week,” he flicked through and filed it under the desk “d’you want anything while you’re here?”

Miles was stood behind Alex by this point.

“Oooh yeah I’d kill for a drink,” the head boy thought out loud.

“Don’t get the macchiato again,” Alex grinned.

“Ah, so _you’re_ Miles,” the barista raised his eyebrows, he began turning on machines. “Go on, I’ll give ya 10% off if you want anythin’,”

The boys ordered drinks (Miles going for a hot chocolate to be kind) and fell into casual conversation with the barista who they found out was called Leo.

“Yeah, my mum is all over the whole astrology thing, my sister’s called Aries. Luckily none of us were born between June or July 22nd.”

* * *

  
On the way back to the School House, the boys called in to the Deli to pick up dinner. Gherkin relished in the news that Miles and Alex were together.

“Ahh, I bloody knew it!” He said smugly, muttering “called it,” to himself as he made the subs.

Jamie, Nick and Matt were all back by the time they had finished eating in Miles’ dorm. When Nick came in he opened his arms wide.

“I TOLD YOU THAT I AM, IN FACT, CUPID,” he shouted triumphantly.

“So you’ve found out then?” Miles lay on his bed with Alex sat up beside him.

“Yeah, Matt let it slip,” Miles’ roommate swung his bags under his bed and flopped onto his mattress. “I’m shattered anyway, don’t mind me… I’m just gonna sleep… Here,” he rolled over so his wavy hair covered the pillow.

“I’m beat too,” Miles spoke through a string of yawns, triggered by the speak of sleep.

“I’ll let you sleep then,” Alex pushed himself up off the bed. Miles whined and stood up, he pulled the slightly shorter boy into a hug.

“G’Night,” he mumbled into Alex’s neck, sending a series of vibrations down his back. They pulled away and Alex kissed him goodnight, this could easily became part of his routine, any day. Miles walked him to the door before going to get ready for bed, Alex doing the same.

Alex smiled while brushing his teeth, he smiled while getting undressed, he smiled while settling into bed and fell asleep much quicker than he usually would. The feeling of complete contentment and a surreal feel of luck drifting him off.

The morning went along in the same pattern, the familiar ring of his phone had never been more enjoyed than that morning, he let it ring a little longer so he could treasure this feeling after missing it for a week.

“Hey Al,” Miles’ voice croaked through.

“Mornin’,”

“I’ve missed your little calls when I wake up,” that made a smile spring up on Alex’s face.

“Yesterday did happen, didn’t it?” Alex pressed the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he pulled on his trousers.

“Yes, Al,” he could hear Miles laugh through the phone “Am I gonna have t’ give you pet names so you won’t forget?”

“Can’t say that I wouldn’t mind that,” Alex’s voice sounded a little warped as he tried to button up his jeans, Miles could tell and asked what he was doing. “I’m trying to get dressed.”

“It’s barely seven o’clock, why’d you get dressed so early?” Alex stalled replying “Al?”

“So then I have time to do me hair.”

“Of course that’s why...Leave it ungelled today, for me? it looks cute when its all fluffy.”

"That means I’ve got half an hour with nowt to do," Alex tried to say as he pulled on his white shirt and began buttoning up.

“You can do me,” Miles said, catching Alex off guard “…I was joking, Al,” the head boy laughed through the phone, imaging Alex’s face.

“You’re too casual when you joke, I can’t tell.”

“That’s the point. Come into me dorm, I can’t talk on the phone while I’m trying to dress, unlike you.”

“Just let me put me tie on.”

“You can do it in here, see you in a sec.”

“Alright,” Alex put his phone in his blazer and walked into room 2a where Miles was stood in the middle of the dorm, wrestling with his jeans to try and pull them on. Alex greeted him with a stolen kiss on the cheek.

“I’m never gonna tire from that, you know,” Miles said once he managed to button up his jeans, taking Alex’s tie from him and pulling it around his neck, making loops for him and pulling the tie through to then adjusting the knot around his collar. Alex was struggling to concentrate with Miles’ hands up around his neck all whilst his bare chest was right in front of him. “Ugh, we’ve got a seven week term this time. A week too long if you ask me,” Miles looked through his wardrobe for a shirt, flicking past several extravagant patterns and endless skinny jeans.

"What are these?" Alex stood beside Miles and pulled an item out of the wardrobe. A pair of incredibly smooth, bright red leather trousers lay in his grasp.

“The best thing I ever bought, and most expensive to be honest,” Miles pulled on his shirt (Alex sneaking a quick glance as he did) “I can’t wear them that much though, they’re a pain in the arse to wash,” Alex looked over them, admiring the surprisingly vivid red. “You should try em on,” Miles laughed “you’ve got loads of those fancy buckled belts, they’d make you look a stunner.”

“More than I already am?” He joked.

“If that’s possible,” Miles winked.

“Vomit,” both boys turned to where the voice came from, Nick was sat up on his mess of a duvet “I’m jokin’, I’m jokin’.”

“Morning,” Alex hung the trousers back up.

“Morning Alex.”

* * *

  
Dannii was stood in the English classroom, waiting by Alex’s seat.

“Soooooo?” She sung.

“So what?”

“So-you-know-what-I-Mean, come on, tell me, tell me, tell me,” she chanted.

“Okay, fine. We did, Sunday afternoon,” Alex put his bags down under his desk and smiled with unhidden pride.

“What? Really?! oh my god,” she grabbed Alex’s hands and started jumping excitedly “oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” her eyebrows were raised in glee “you’ll be so cute together!”

“Alright, alright,” Alex attempted to calm her as she was shaking him by her jumping.

“I can’t!” She cupped her own cheeks and smiled. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she exhaled deeply “I can be chill about this.”

“Glad to know you’re pleased,” Alex sat down with her and the rest of the class once they had filed in, luckily the teacher couldn’t care less about the students and their shenanigans so she wasn’t paying attention to Dannii’s screeches.

They managed to get to the end of the class with minimal interruptions from her. Luckily.

"Awh," Dannii held her hands over her heart and looked at Alex with puppy dog eyes once she saw Miles waiting outside the classroom. "I feel all lonely now," she pouted "with my boyfriend being in bloody America, I hate time zones too, I can barely find time to speak to him. See you later anyway, go and be with your adorable boyfriend," Alex laughed to himself, Dannii was quite the character sometimes.

"Hey babe," Miles messed with Alex’s un-gelled fringe (by his own request). This triggered a short, muffled series of high pitched giggles of endearment from Dannii who was still in the process of leaving the room behind Alex. "Who was that?" Miles asked once they’d began walking down the hall.

“Dannii, you know the girl I sit beside in English?”

“Oh yeah, I remember, so _she_ was my competition,” Miles nodded slowly.

“I told you, she’s got a boyfriend.”

“So that’s why you didn’t go for her then?”

“Piss off,” Alex interrupted Miles’ jokes with a kiss, sweet and simple, just on the cheek. They were in the school halls and excessive PDA wasn’t something Alex was fond of, y’know, being the kind of person that thinks of others over himself.

Miles took Alex out to smoke, which by no surprise, quickly turned into kissing. Each had been waiting to be able to do that for months, and now they could do it as they pleased. Miles had Alex up against the wall once he had finished his cigarette, he wasted no time at all in doing this since he’d been giving Alex ‘the eyes’ the whole time he was puffing on the cig (making Alex incredibly lustful and pretty desperate) resulting in a mental sigh of relief once Miles began kissing up his heated neck until he reached his sweet lips.

The heat of his back burned against the freezing cold of the school’s brick wall, Miles ran his hands through the boys fluffy fringe, untamed and wild by this point. Alex bit along Miles’ bottom lip, his own hands messing with the belt loops of the head boy’s trousers, looping his fingers through to tug him closer by the waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free leave a comment or send me an ask on tumblr (anon or not) @ black-eye-friday.tumblr.com to tell me what you think, I adore it when you do <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a couple asks on tumblr about whether they've 'done' anything on the smutty side of things, I thought it was best to clear that up now so I edited this chapter to 'explain' :) If you're reading this as I've updated, the section I added is in BOLD, if you're reading this after, this is just to clear any confusion as to why there's a random block of bold text in the middle of this.  
> (TY for sending comments/asks btw, I appreciate them anonymous or not :D )

A loud ringing blared out from the bell above them, a calling to all students that their lessons were resuming. Alex could’ve easily mistaken it’s ringing as the buzzing inside his own head from the sparks that shot from Miles’ lips.

Miles laughed once he looked over the state they were in.  
  
“You might wanna…” He gestured to Alex’s crazily ruffled fringe “y’know, make it look a bit less obvious,” the head boy rubbed over his own bitten lips. “Eh, if anyone asks, I’ll make up excuses.”  
  
“I thought that was expected from you though, turning up to classes with a face half snogged off,” Alex bit on his tongue, cheekily grinning.  
  
“Piss off, you little tyke,” Miles smiled, wrapping his arm around the youngers shoulder as they walked inside to finish the school day.  


* * *

  
Dannii asked a new question every day, which, to be honest, just became another thing for Alex to secretly look forward to each morning.

"So," she always started her sentences like that "ermmmm," she thought out loud, looking for a question. "Is he a good kisser then?" Dannii would then proceed to sit with her chin in her hands, eagerly waiting for an answer.

Alex thought about how Miles would tilt his head, just to the right angle so he could get as much advantage over Alex to dominate the kiss, but he’d always encourage Alex to take over. Alex'd think about who bit first, usually himself, Miles liked to come up with the theory that he was actually a vampire and that his impressive widows peak was a dead giveaway.  
  
“You could be related to Christopher Nolan or Andy Garcia for all I know, I like that about you though,” he’d say.  
  
Alex thought about how Miles would always inhale sharply when he used his tongue, tasting his kisses to no end. Miles tasted like faint cigarettes and something that he couldn’t describe, almost sweet but most certainly addictive. Miles told Alex that he was like “Sunshine and magic”, whatever he meant by that didn’t matter, all that did matter is how he'd whisper that it was his ‘favourite combination’ that he was ‘hopelessly devoted to’.  
  
"Well?" Dannii asked again. "How is he?"  
  
“The best,” Alex replied, a prideful smile brimming over how cheesy it sounded.  
  
“Awh, you’re so lucky- I mean he’s so lucky… You’re both so lucky,” tones of sadness worked their way into her voice. She’d smile brightly when she saw Miles waiting but the smile never quite reached her eyes. "What are his hugs like?" Her questions came out of the blue.  
  
“The best, also."  
  
“How so?” Dannii looked at him, her blue eyes the polar opposite of Alex’s. He didn’t like to go into detail, he knew Dannii was missing her boyfriend and it felt so selfish to speak so lovingly of his own boyfriend when hers was so far away, but Dannii would always insist that she wanted to know.  
  
“Is this another psychology thing?”  
  
“No, I just like to see people’s faces light up when they talk about something they’re passionate about, I guess it is kind of my interest in psychology too.”  
  
Eventually she’d get Alex to speak fondly of how Miles’ arms wrapped perfectly around his frame, how his hand fit in the curve of his waist and neck and how he’d slide up behind him to surprise him with a hug, loosely snaking his arms around him to quickly pull him so Alex’s back was close against Miles’ front. This would usually make Alex jump the second before he realised it was only Miles after Miles'd rested his chin on his shoulder, letting Miles' musky aftershave wrap it’s invisible self around them too, pressing non-existent kisses up to Alex's nose to fill his lungs with it’s sweet scent. November was particularly cold this year, hugging and sharing coffees and body heat was a common occurrence for them.  
  
"Does he ever do cute, little things for you?" Dannii asked "you know, unexpected stuff? My boyfriend used it do that, only once we were about a month into our relationship though."  
  
Miles and Alex had been together since the start of term, it was nearing the end now so they’d been together for almost seven weeks. Miles constantly notified Alex of this, in the middle of conversations he’d turn and say “you know it’s been six and a half weeks since we got together?”  
  
“Yeah,” Alex chuckled at his boyfriend’s random reminder.  
  
“Best month of my life,” Miles would ended his sentence with a kiss to his temple, leaving Alex feeling more wanted than he ever had before. It made him feel a weird sense of further worth, especially coming from someone like Miles.

**There were times when Miles' understanding was the best thing Alex could ask for, it was no surprise to anyone when they knew Miles was far from a virgin, most people knew of how he got around. Miles wasn't doing it to be reckless, he never did anything that the other wouldn't want to do, he reminded everyone of the fact that he's "Not a playboy, just a lover". That was probably the answer to may questions, like where Miles got his self esteem from? How he never seemed to be uncomfortable with, well, anyone... ever? And why Alex felt intimidated by him before they got together? Its not that Alex was a virgin either, because he wasn't, he just liked to take things slowly. It was a while into his and Alexa's relationship before anything happened because they both had the same feelings about it, but then when that relationship didn't work out, Alex thought maybe he'd held on too long. So with his first boyfriend he did whatever _he_ wanted, regardless of his own feelings (which now, with Alex looking back on it, was a stupid idea). So now, with Miles, Alex wanted to do this right (or what he thought was right). Miles made sure to ask before he did any more than what they'd already done. Alex only had to reply with a 'no' and Miles asked no more questions, not after that. He trusted that Alex would say when he was 'ready' or okay with going further.**

**"I'm sorry, it's nothing personal-"**

**"I know, babe, it's fine. You don't have to explain," Miles smiled "Don't worry your pretty little face about it."**

**"I don't want to be disappointing," Alex muttered quietly.**

**"God, Al. I didn't know you thought about it so much," Miles hugged him tight as if to squeeze out any doubt that he meant anything less to him "I'm not going to start hating you **because of it** , there's not a cat in hells chance of that. I know I've got that kind of reputation but I _can_ control myself," he kissed Alex's lines of worry and talked to him until they were non-existent, ridding Alex of any dark thought he might have had. Miles was good at that. "Sex isn't all I care about," he said with all seriousness in his voice.**

**"I just don't want you to think I'm scared of it."**

**"I don't think anything different of you because of your preferences to hold on, I like knowing you can trust me to tell me. Look at me, Al. I Don't Expect _anything_  from you," Miles kissed the boy properly before telling him that just because they were together, that doesn't mean **he owed him anything, at all**.**

  
When Alex found out that he’d got the job at the coffee place, Miles bought him celebratory muffins from the Deli, Gherkin giving him a discount so he returned with enough for Matt, Jamie and Nick too.  
  
“Ah, first time you remembered to get me summat!” Nick took his cupcake with great thanks.  
  
Eventually the English student answered Dannii "Yeah, he does. You better not be planning on gettin’ close with my boy, Dannii," Alex tried to brighten her weakening smile.  
  
“Push off,” she laughed as cheerily as she could “nah, I just miss my own relationship, so much so that I get invested in yours. You know that you and Miles are pretty much inseparable anyway. If anyone tries to get between you, I won’t hesitate to drop kick them.”  
  
“Thanks for the support,” Alex laughed with Dannii, he tried to cheer her up, telling her that if this boyfriend was to leave her then it’d be his loss “There’s better people for you.”

“I know, I just wish he’d tell me it’s not working out instead of keeping me hanging, I’d end it myself but I don’t have the heart to… I still love him, y’know,” she gave a weary smile that wobbled as her eyes began to water up, she picked at imaginary lint on her clothes, using it as a distraction even though there was nothing there.  
  
“Hey, it’s alright,” Alex tried to console her while she was doing her best to keep herself together, the bell rang and the class started to pack up. Alex pulled Dannii into a hug, she buried her face in Alex’s shoulder and began to gently sob, the boy rubbed her back and whispered encouragement.  
  
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, muffled by Alex’s blazer.  
  
“Don’t be,” Alex never felt like he was the best at soothing people but Dannii soon wiped her tears and steadied her breathing “will you be okay?” His brown eyes gave sympathy to hers.  
  
“Yeah,” she exhaled deeply “thank you, Al,” she adjusted her bag as they left “And I’m supposed to be the budding psychologist, eh?”

——  
  
Miles was late out of his class, either that or he wasn’t waiting for Alex like he usually did. Alex hadn’t been down the music department since the tour on his first day, eventually after walking down what seemed like endless halls and stairs he found Miles picking at the wall while he was talking on his phone.  
  
"Oh please don’t make me, not again," he said to the unknown person on the other side. "No, it’s not that I don’t like her, I do… but I’d just rather not have to go again," Alex felt like an intruder listening in to his conversation so he made himself known by tapping the head boy on the shoulder. Miles turned around, his face relaxed once he saw it was Alex "Hey, babe," he smiled. "No mum, I want talking to you," he said back into the phone. "Just gimme a sec, Darlin’," he whispered to Alex before finishing up his call.  
  
"What was that about?"  
  
“Guess who wants me back up in Scotland again for the school break… Me mum,” Miles rolled his eyes and held Alex’s hand. “I’d give anything not to go again, I can’t eat another Bloody Sunday lunch.”

“Oh so it’s the food you don’t want to go for? Not missing me?” Alex linked his fingers in between Miles’.  
  
“You know I mean that,” he kissed Alex’s forehead “She wants me down there for the first week because she doesn’t trust me at home alone, even though I am eighteen. I think she forgets that sometimes.”

“Well, you could stays at mine for the week if she’ll let you?”  
  
“I can’t just turn up yours.”  
  
“No, it’s fine, my mum’s always saying I should invite you over.”

“You’ve told her about us?” Alex had to think back for an answer then, 7 weeks was a long way to think.

“Actually, I don’t think I have,” the english student pulled Miles’ hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss into his knuckles “if you come with me, it’ll make things easier.”  
  
“I’ll ask then. I can’t resist it, even if I wanted to, not when you look at me like that.”  
  
And then Alex did the ‘thing’, you know like when you’re in public, waiting for the bus or whatever and you’re stood beside a couple, then all of a sudden after they’ve been quietly conversing they break into that weird kind of laugh/giggle thing that new couples do. They begin to communicate just with weird noises that only they seemed to understand, constant sounds changing only in pitch , like a mix of ‘N’awwww’s and ‘Hmmmm’s. 'Couple noises' is the only way to put it.

The boys managed to sort it between parents and had arranged for Miles to stay in Sheffield with Alex until Christmas Eve when the head boy would have to celebrate with his family up until New Years.  
  
Alex’s mum saying that she was very excited to meet “this Miles” (she never said “Miles”, just on its own, she always added a ‘this beforehand) and she said that it would be a pleasure to have him.  
  
Miles’ parents didn’t take much persuasion either, letting him go because he told them he’d be an inconvenience if he were to go with them.  
  
On the morning of the leaving day, Miles and Alex didn’t split, even when Miles had to attend a final ‘head students’ meeting. His boyfriend waited outside the conference room and traced his fingers around a patch on his neck, he hadn’t stopped doing that since it ‘appeared’. The neat gathering of purple and blue pools in the middle of his neck under his right ear, the evening that they appeared was probably the best memory that Alex had of this term; Miles had him pushed against the wall (common occurrence) while he was sat on Miles’ bed, head boy straddling the English student with his knees either sides of the boys thighs so he was locked between him tightly. Alex would most likely never forget the waves of vibrations that buzzed from his head all the way through his waiting body when Miles got close, or the fuzzy feeling dispersing over his skull when Miles’ fine fingers played with the tufts of hair that was beginning to grow longer at the base of Alex’s head, or even the content sighs and surprisingly loud moans that Miles elicited from him when he kissed along his neck to find the soft spots. Miles did this so easily that is was frustrating, how he bit Alex’s pure, clean skin and sucked until a stamp of rich reds and pretty pinks lay where his teeth were, soon to turn magenta then violet then cobalt. His lips became a devilish smile whenever he managed to pull a moan out from the boy, knowing full well what he was doing.  
  
"Stop it," Alex would struggle to say, like a child, squirming and giggling.  
  
“Why?” Miles would pull away, gentle look of concern.  
  
“I don’t mean stop it as in actually stop, I mean stop it as in stop turning me into a mess of bloody groans.”  
  
Miles laughed at him lovingly before doing as Alex wished, sliding back under his chin to add more chains of his own trademark.  
  
The door of the conference room swung open, dragging Alex out of his reminiscing as Gwen and Miles exited. Gwen had been acting a bit off with Alex whenever she’d last spoken to him, she was usually so sweet and generally nice until it annoyed him but now she could only manage a smile and a sickly ‘Hello’ in her posh accent. She was linking arms with Miles but split when Alex stood from his seat.  
  
“Mi, how was it, babe?” Alex had great pleasure in calling him pet names in front of Gwen, for a reason he didn’t quite know.  
  
“Alright, boring… You ready to go?” Miles held Alex’s hips and swayed him.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Where are you going?” Gwen had her interest caught.  
  
“Al’s letting me stay over at his,” the head boy stood beside his boyfriend. “Have a good Christmas, Gwen,” Miles smiled “Happy new year too,” he hugged her goodbye and she walked off, swaying her hips as she did.  
  
Alex said no more until they were bumping suitcases down the stairs.  
  
“What was up with Gwen? She seemed a bit peeved.”  
  
“I dunno, I don’t think she got a chance to do Christmas shopping for her family, she’s a bit stressed, I would’ve asked if she wanted to come into town with us when we did our shopping but she didn’t seem to be up for it.”  
  
Just as well, Alex thought. Miles and Alex had spent a whole Saturday searching through shops for gifts, wrapping them the Sunday after. Wrapping was a bigger ordeal than first expected…  
  
"Let’s get this one," Miles stood admiring the deep blue wrapping paper with gold thread sewn through.  
  
“That costs more than my present for Jamie alone, Mi,” Alex sorted through all the other papers, coming across a traditional cream with red Santas dancing across.  
  
“look, this one is like 50p, we’ll get this one.”  
  
“Ugh, but that one is all generic… Look, we can get gold ribbons and glittery blue tags and little gold strips of shiny paper and curl it.”  
  
“We’re just wrapping present for family, Miles, not the Queen.”  
  
“I’ll pay for it, please?” he stood in the middle of the store with his arms full of Christmas wrapping, pulling a pout at Alex who was stood shaking his head. Anyone would think they were having a domestic disagreement.  
  
"Okay, fine."  
  
“Yay! Thank youuuuu,” he sung. Only someone like Miles would feel so passionate about presentation.  
  
Problem was, Miles couldn’t wrap presents properly for toffee, whereas Alex found it a breeze.  
  
"I can’t DO IT!" He’d sit and pout.  
  
“I’ll do it for you, pass ‘em here,” Alex crawled over to him and his pile of presents.  
  
Alex sat in front of the head boy who then proceeded to snake his arms around his waist and rested his head on the other boys shoulder. While Alex tried to cut the paper Miles pressed kisses into his neck, humming any old Christmas song.  
  
“You know, You’re making this a lot harder to do.”  
  
“Are you complaining?”  
  
“Not at all.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you didn't see my changes, if you go onto Chapter 13 and scroll down about a quarter of the way, there is a section in bold that I added to the chapter. You don't have to read it before this Chapter (its nothing crucial or w/e) so you can read it afterwards, if you want. idk, I just edited it to clarify things a bit :)

Back in current times, Miles and Alex arrived at the train station in a cab, with Matt who sat beside the driver. They made it into the train and found a table, Alex sat beside the window, but for the first time yet he didn’t stare out of it aimlessly, he had a better view to look at; a view of lips he’d felt on his neck, a tongue he’d felt with his own, and hair he’d felt tufted between his fingers.  
  
Miles was wearing his crystal white trousers that he always managed to keep surprisingly clean, most people assumed that he had endless pairs and that’s how they always looked pristine. The jeans made his legs look even longer than they already were, this made his ‘exiting a car like an A-list celebrity onto the red carpet’ even more impressive, especially along with his grey shirt that had a slightly darker, intricate pattern woven into the silk material.

Alex’s legs were fitted tightly into black trousers, chosen by Miles himself, and a loose white shirt that freed the top of his chest, instead of being hidden away by fastened buttons. The usual get up.  
  
Matt was dressed less ‘glamorously’ and opted for the more practical route, like someone should if they’re going on a long train journey. He wore pale grey jogging bottoms and a loose shirt, newly washed, this was deductible from the way he said “fuck me these smell fresh” when he pulled them on.  
  
Hills rolled by outside the window, always constantly moving like a carousel or conveyer belt, the sun never stopping in its attempts to shine between the leaves which only ever gave the train a strobe light effect, blinding each passenger every 1.5 seconds.  
  
Matt had brought a bag of [Maoam Joystixx](http://www.britishshopabroad.com/product_images/k/756/j__47728_zoom.jpg), for both entertainment and eating during their on-land version of a voyage.  
  
“Want one?” He leant over the table towards the boys, Alex up against the window while Miles had, at some point, melted into his arms.  
  
“Ohh, yeah,” the head boys attention was converted to the multicoloured sticks of chewy, flavoured sugar (that’s the best way to try and describe Maoams).  
  
“Get us a cherry one,” Alex, still lying against the window, called to Mi.  
  
“Are there any cola ones? I like them,” the head boy searched through the bag with his ringed fingers. The cola Maoam was like a silver needle in a haystack of yellow, red, orange and pinks. The holy grail of all Maoams, mostly because there was only ever one in a bag, two if you’re lucky. No one knows why though, no one has ever taken it up with the head of Maoam packaging… If they had then they should probably ask why on all the wrappers a green ‘thing’ seemed to be getting _way_ too comfortable with the fruits.  
  
“Ah yes, got it,” Miles pulled out the sacred silver sweet along with the maroon-red of the cherry Maoam. All three boys were kept content for a maximum of three minutes, like a baby with a pacifier.  
  
“You know what they should do?” Alex left his question open for anyone to answer before answering himself “Make a cherry cola Maoam, at least 50% of all sweets have a cherry cola flavoured something or other.”  
  
"There is a cherry cola one already, isn’t there?" Matt questioned.  
  
“I don’t know... but you can find out what it tastes like,” the head boy raised his eyebrows at Alex who had begun to say ‘how?’ But was cut off by Miles who was now pressing his lips against the others.  
  
"Awh, come on guys!" Matt groaned, rolling his eyes and looking out the window, pretending to be completely oblivious. Miles laughed briefly while Alex smiled, this giving him complete power over the boy so Miles could use his cola-flavoured tongue to mix with the cherry taste still coating Alex’s mouth. Alex let his hand hold Miles’ waist while his eyes closed, feeling the smooth satin under his fingers and the warmth of the head boy’s body. Miles placed his hand behind Alex’s ears, pushing the kiss deeper until the cola and cherry taste became one, a sweet mix that danced between lips, controlled by tongues and a sense of lust.   
  
"Guys, please," Matt interrupted, still averting his gaze to give them both privacy but also for his own benefit.  
  
Miles was too strong willed to give in and Alex was too intoxicated with the head boys electricity to do anything about it, Alex bit on Miles’ lip once he had let him have a chance to dominate, turning Miles’ perfectly carved lips a little pinker than they’d usually be.  
  
"Ow!" Miles broke the kiss, not on his own accord, and rubbed his head on the spot where a Maoam had bounced off after Matt launched it in his direction.  
  
"Head shot!" The boy taking the place of the third wheel cheered, grinning at himself for getting a lemon sweet to hit the bulls eye.  
  
Alex laughed at Miles’ pout.  
  
“Hmmm, cherry cola isn’t bad,” he stated, liking his lips to get a reaction out of Matt. The three laughed quietly and resumed eating until the end of the journey.

* * *

 

Matt, Miles and Alex weaved their way through the thick crowds and managed to leave the station much quicker than their past attempts, mostly because Miles had the sort of ‘Moses effect’ where the general public seemed to naturally make way for Miles to pass through (excluding some stuck up, middle aged men in suits that purposefully barged into them, thinking that they’d be the ones to be excused).  
  
Neither Matt nor Alex’s parents were at the exit of the station so they made their own way home, dragging wheeled suitcases along the pavement and loose gravel that made a crunching sound follow behind them.  
  
"See you in a few weeks then," Matt nodded them goodbye once he reached the end of his road.  
  
“Have a good Christmas, Matt,” Miles leant against a random house’s wall, waiting for Alex to finish.  
  
“You too, mate, don’t do anything stupid.”  
  
Alex’s house was waiting down the empty street, greeting them with the lonely space outside his house where the cars would usually be, that was like the modern version of leaving a Post-it note on the fridge saying “Just gone to the shops, won’t be long xxx”. It’s always irritating that, when anyone says they ‘won’t be long’ or ‘will be back soon’, you never know how long that’s supposed to be, Alex was left trying to decide whether he had anywhere between ten minutes or an hour before his parents returned.  
  
"What’s up?" Miles asked once they entered the house.  
  
“Nothin’, just trying to figure out how long we’ll be alone for.”  
  
“Oh, I see,” Miles raised his eyebrows.  
  
“No, not like that, shut up,” Alex shook his head with a smile.  
  
Miles walked slowly down the halls, looking at all the pictures hanging off the walls, nostalgic memories trapped behind glass like a picture book autobiography.  
  
“Is this you?” Miles pointed at a picture of a young boy sat in the drivers seat of a car, clutching the steering wheel with a mischievous grin across his face.  
  
“Yep,” Alex answered quickly, in hope that it would change the subject from embarrassing pictures. He was unsuccessful.  
  
“Oh my god,” Miles looked over the wall with wide eyes “that’s so cute!” He cooed at the images of Alex, going from purely Adidas tracksuits to Denim clad and flowing haired. “D'aww look at little emo phase Al” he pointed to a picture of him with straightened hair and a jagged-cut fringe.  
  
"Don’t pretend that you didn’t have one," Alex kicked off his shoes and began to walk through to the kitchen, Miles caught him on his way by hooking him with his arm to then pull him close so Miles could plant kisses along his temple.  
  
"Mmm, D’you wanna drink?" Alex purred in contentment from Miles' hug.  
  
“Champagne.”  
  
“Har Har, very funny,” Alex spoke with dripping sarcasm.  
  
“Tea, please,” he said “Babe.”  
  
Alex yawned deeply, several times during the routine of tea-making, the feeling of Miles hugging his back making the brewing sleepiness multiply much quicker.  
  
"Tired?"  
“Mmm,”

Alex hummed the tone of ‘yes’ into the gentle stream of steam, flowing from his mug. “Let’s go watch some crappy tele.”  
  
“Cheers,” miles took his tea from the drowsy boy and followed him to the big couch in the living room.

The TV played, but only for some background noise, a random TV show. Probably Jeremy Kyle since all Alex could hear was someone shouting, in a very strong, undetectable accent, about how their significant other had sex with another woman in the local park. The usual problems discussed on Jeremy Kyle. Miles was sat in the corner, the best spot where your back was comforted by cushions all round, Alex slid up to him and lay between his legs, resting his head on Miles warm, gently rising and falling chest. The TV kept blacking out, Alex’s eyelids grew too heavy to keep open and his eyes refused to focus on the garish blue of Jeremy Kyle’s backdrop. The gentle patterns that Miles traced into his skin while he lay there were coaxing him into slumber, the repetition of circles was a dangerous spell that could easily make anyone fall into a deep sleep.

* * *

Alex was whisked into another room, a sudden sound disturbed what he was doing. Warped voices were coming from nowhere but everywhere at the same time, they were familiar yet he had never heard them before. Alex couldn’t feel his body, he could see it but there was no sensation, like he was conscious spiritually but not at all physically.  
  
"Al, Alex," the mysterious voice was gently urgent, the rooms around Alex began to fade and a black took over.  
  
“Babe?” The word was whispered but still more powerful than the voices before, the whisper pulled Alex out of the black and suddenly into his living room. “You’ve been asleep for ages,” the voice vibrated from Miles’ chest that he was still using as a pillow “what were you dreaming about? You were gripping my shirt pretty hard,” Alex unfolded his hand and looked at the creases he had unconsciously created in his boyfriends shirt.  
  
“Oh, it were a dream,” the English student still felt weirdly out of place.  
  
“Yeah, your Mum came back about an hour ago.”  
  
“You’ve been lying like this for over an hour?” Alex sat himself up, feeling guilty for trapping the boy between the sofa and his own body.  
  
“It’s alright, babe, I’ve learnt a lot of things from the ol’ Jeremy Kyle,” he laughed, his smile was a beautiful thing to wake up to.  
  
“Oh my god, you’ve been watching that for how long?”  
  
“I don’t know, a whole season at least,” Miles rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms and back, groaning as he did. Alex looked at the TV remote that was across the room.  
  
“I’m so sorry,” he laughed. No one would marathon several episodes of Jeremy Kyle if they wanted to keep any faith in humanity.  
  
“Your mum was talking to me anyways.”  
  
“While I was asleep?!”  
  
“Yeah,” miles laughed, “S’alright, you didn’t snore or nothin’.”  
  
“That’s not the point,” Alex sat up properly, going to drink his tea before remembering that it was stone cold.  
  
“She didn’t question why you were holding onto me for dear life, if that’s what you’re thinking.”  
  
“Shall we tell her?”  
  
“I don’t mind, you’re not bothered, are you? I thought you parents were okay with whatever.”  
  
“Yeah, I guess,” Alex leant back in thought.  
  
“Well whatever you do I’ll go along with it, babe,” Miles kissed the boys cheek, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt and the top of his trousers. Alex shuffled so they were face to face.  
  
“Thank you,” he said, his parents knew he fancied both boys and girls and they were cool with that, they just never knew of his first boyfriend. Despite knowing he was bi, Alex couldn’t help but think that if his parents knew he was serious about it, and if they knew he had a boyfriend, then they might be uncomfortable about it.  
  
He looked Miles dead in the eye and felt himself naturally go to kiss him, Miles doing the same as if it were a magnetic force pulling them together by the lips.  
Miles moved his free hand to Alex’s cheek to keep his head still while kissed the boys lower lip, knowing that whenever he did that, Alex would part them to let Miles in deeper. Miles’ tongue only got as far as Alex’s lips when a noise came from the living room door, the boys split instantly to see Alex’s mum stood at the door.  
  
"Well… That was quick," she said, it was clear now where Alex got his blush from.  
  
“Mum-” her son stuttered, this wasn’t really how he planned on introducing Miles as more than ‘just his friend’, speaking of, Miles was completely calm about the ‘interruption’. He was secretly stroking the small of Alex’s back to silently soothe him.  
  
“It’s okay, darling,” his mum could read his thoughts, they were close enough to know what each other’s facial expressions meant. “Your dad and I both know already, you’ve got nowt to worry about,” she smiled at both boys. “Anyway, I came in to ask if you want something to eat.”  
  
Alex felt the bricks he was carrying on his back fall away instantly, leaving nothing in its place but relief.  
  
Jeremy Kyle was changed to Jonathan Ross while they all sat in the living room, eating. That soon changed to ‘Death In Paradise’ before they retired for bed.  
  
Miles kissed Alex’s back when he undressed for sleep, he kissed his arm when he brushed his teeth and kissed his neck when he said goodnight. Miles was sleeping in the makeshift bed that Matt had used last time, but it didn’t take long for him to sneak between the sheets next to Alex.  
  
"Hello," Alex whispered, pulling Miles’ arm around him.  
  
“Hello, Alexander,” the other repeated back, brushing Al’s fringe out of his face so he could look at his moonlight eyes. Miles kissed the end of Alex’s nose, stroking his finger along the boys jawline before dotting that with kisses too. Falling asleep in Miles’ arms gave Alex the greatest comfort in the world, he could hear their heartbeats thump in sync, their chests rising and falling in time with each other as they shared the warm air.  
  
Alex was the first to wake, that was expected. It was still dark and the faint, early morning winter light waltzed across Miles’ sleeping face, painting his skin a pale blue and his lips a perfect lilac. The head boys hair was sticking up at the back and knotted at the front, the curls beside his ears stayed beautifully untouched. His eyelashes a dark brown again his pale cheeks, his Adam’s apple cast a gentle shadow on his neck, his collar bones left dips of elegance, the skin covering them was dotted with tiny nips of purple left by Alex a few days ago.  
  
Alex gave a sleepy smile, happily taking in the person he was beside who had his legs lying against him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... I don't know WHAT the hell went wrong in this chapter, I kind of fell into Miles' P.O.V unintentionally??  
> tbh this WHOLE chapter is a mess of different P.O.Vs and my tenses are always a mix so... yeah, sorry about my lack of continuity.

Alex and Miles were inseparable over the days coming up to christmas. The make-shift bed was never used, seeing as Alex’s mattress always bedded two people since the first night, his duvet hiding their entangled bodies.

Miles would wake up to the feeling of gentle kisses sinking into the skin of his collar bones or up his spine, depending on the way he fell asleep. He would pretend not to be aware of them for a few moments so he could revel in the feeling of Alex indulging his body, his hands carefully stroking down Miles’ sides before he nuzzled into the curve of his hip. Miles could easily spend all his morning drowning in the titillating feeling of the boys adulating movements, he made Miles feel better even when there was nothing wrong.  
  
He’d soon have to stir before Alex left the bed, he made sure to return everything Alex’d done for him until they left. If Alex left a hickey, Miles would leave two, if Alex kissed up his back then Miles would kiss down his front, if Alex drew invisible circles on his skin then Miles would massage deeper patterns into his muscles. Alex never let Miles kiss him properly in the morning, whenever he tried to glide his tongue across Alex’s lip before going any further, Alex would lay his hand on Miles shoulder and deny any progress.  
  
“What’s up?”  
  
“Nothing, it’s just I ‘aven’t brushed me teeth yet.”  
  
“why does that matter?”  
  
“I wont let you kiss me when I’ve got morning breath,” Alex would say with all seriousness “don’t laugh at me, Mi,” he grinned.  
  
“I’m not, you’re just sweet,” Miles said as he licked over a purple patch he’d left another day.  
  
They made morning tea together in the freezing kitchen before anyone else was awake, only each others bodies to warm them up until the kettle boiled. They’d sit on the window sill, backs against the wall and knees pressed up against each other. They didn’t need words, each others presence was enough, smiling through steam spoke more than speaking itself.  
  
When Alex had to shower, Miles was happy enough to be left looking around his room, admiring the array of books arranged on this shelves and the music beside his drawers, looking through his clothes and shoes, taking mental notes of everything. Alex’s bedroom was next to the bathroom, Miles could hear the water from the shower masking the boys humming.  
  
Alex washed his hair while Miles looked at posters, Alex imagined Miles’ fingers on his scalp whilst Miles looked at ornaments, Alex cleaned his body while Miles came across a book, battered and clearly well loved, he picked it up and sat on the bed. The book sat in his hands, it's plain cover was worn around the edges and the pages were thick from being heavily used. Miles’ fingers felt across the book, curling when he felt the edge of the cover, pulling it back to open the first page.

A blank page lay before him, with the exception of ‘This book belongs to:’ written at the top centre and ‘Alexander David Turner’ scrawled beneath, his handwriting was not as well structured as Miles had seen before. The pages were old and had bumps like braille in the back of each page from the pressure of the biro pens. Words were endless throughout the book, Miles could tell without having to flick through it. Nothing of specific interest was written on the next pages, sentences struggled to thread together, big words shoved in where possible and deep scribbles hid mistaken words.  
  
Miles skipped a few chunks forward to a page written in a fountain pen, the page was titled ‘Love is a Laserquest’ with a date from two years ago written beside it. Miles’ eyebrows furrowed as he skimmed over the words until it suddenly dawned on his what the book was, he slammed it shut and stood up, looking around trying to remember where he found it so he could return it without Alex knowing. The white noise of the shower stopped, making Miles look around more frantically until he tossed the book on top of a pile of other fancy looking books. He managed to resume to a natural position when Alex entered the room, his hair dripping wet and a towel tied around himself.  
  
“Y’alright?” his head tilted like a puppy, the longer hairs fell out of place and hung across his face, letting water drip onto his chest.  
  
“Yeah,” Miles pretended to admire the view out the window, despite the view of Alex being a hundred times more appealing, the water droplets on his chest like the afternoon stars in the sky you could only describe as ‘rustic’. Two, damp arms wrapped themselves around Miles, water from Alex’s stomach and broad shoulders seeped into the back of Miles’ shirt.  
  
“You sure?” he said, voice still a little gruff.  
  
“Positive, darlin’,” Miles put Alex’s mind to rest. They talked about nothing in particular while Alex dried and got dressed.  
  
The night since then had Miles thinking, a lot, the never ending nagging temptation to open up his book again was eating away at his mind. The burning curiosity was fighting with his morals, had Alex written anything about him in there? afterall, it was his deepest thoughts in the form of words.  
  
Alex could feel Miles’ restlessness, he didn’t melt into him like he usually would.  
  
“Mi?”

“Hmm?”

“Can’t sleep?”  
  
“Was that a question or a statement?”

“Both,” Alex rolled over in the dark. “D’you wanna go out with me?” he asked after some time.  
  
“I already am.”  
  
“Ah ha ha,” Alex laughed, bluntly. Miles’ didn’t have to see his face to know that it was unimpressed. Alex searched for Miles’ lips in the dark, kissing along his cheek until he found them. He bit gently on Miles’ lower lip, like he usually would, letting his tongue follow after. Miles was surprised to have Alex take over, it was a nice change to be the one that was controlled. Miles’ hands felt down Alex’s back, encouraging him to clamber over Miles’ body so they could get closer. Alex pushed himself up without breaking their embrace, he put his knees either side of Miles’ hips and his hands either side of Miles' head, pushing the pillow down as he leant into the kiss. Miles let himself inhale sharply, his body rising up a little to feel Alex further. Just as Miles was going to use his tongue to mask a brewing moan, Alex broke the kiss and left the bed.  
  
“Al!” Miles exclaimed.  
  
“Come on, let’s go.”  
  
“I hate you.”  
  
It only took a few minutes until both boys were out in the open, cool night air (thanks to Alex’s urgency to get dressed). The transition from the pitch black, cosy bedroom to the snow-covered, golden-washed outdoors turned their heated breath into make-believe smoke.  
  
“It’s pretty out here at night,” Miles said, looking at Alex, though he didn’t notice.  
  
“Mmm,” Alex replied subconsciously, his eyes were wide and sparkling, taking in the dusky scenery. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, the flame of the lighter the same shades of yellow, orange and white as their surroundings.  
  
Alex walked with less of a swagger than Miles, instead he walked with his head lower down (not as much as he used to. He found that, since the quiff, he had much more confidence physically. Not a lot, but it was something, at least). Miles probably found his confidence in clothes, Alex assumed, he knew that good clothes could make anyone feel higher. Alex’d bought a pair of shoes that cost more than all the shoes he had prior, put together. They were designer, yes, and since then, he hadn’t worn any other pairs. Miles seemed to have a star studded wardrobe, fancy names that Alex had never heard of before printed on most pf the labels. There were names in other languages, usually french, embroidered into the labels (the more eccentric ones were in latin). Marc Jacobs was Alex’s favourite but only because overuse of the name ‘Marc Jacobs’.

“What’s this? Jacobs... by Marc Jacobs _for_ Marc by Marc Jacobs _in collaboration with_ Marc Jacobs for Marc by Marc Jacobs? Is this serious!”  
  
“I had to save up for so long to afford that,” Miles laughed at Alex who was still subtly gawking over his little collection of clothes. Miles’ family were well off, christmases and birthdays usually included fancy gifts which put much more pressure on Alex, no matter how many times Miles told him not to spend a single penny on him.

"My parents are just minted, that's all."

* * *

 

Alex felt Miles reach for his hand, their palms joined and fingers interlocked as they walked down the late night pavements. Trees that erupted from the ground swung above them, bark creaking from the wind that fought with everything around it. A few drunken girls, stumbling in stilettos, struggled to walk past them on the cobblestone pavement. One of the girls with particularly heavy makeup on made it past Miles, she stroked her chipped finger down his shoulder, she tried to whisper a suggestive ‘Hey’ but ended up choking on the single syllable.  
  
"Y’alright?" Miles asked the girl who was a mess, to be fair.  
  
Before she could attempt a reply, her two girlfriends had hobbled over and tried to pull her away, their behinds sticking out when they tried to bend in 5 inch heels and skin tight dresses. Alex tugged Miles along to remove themselves from the scene, not because he was scared (oh no, not at all. Drunken girls in stilettos aren’t something to fear) but because he wanted to show Miles something special before the night was up.  
  
"Where are you taking me?" The taller boy almost tripped as he was pulled along.  
  
"You’ll see," Alex grinned "it’s my favourite place."  
  
They walked in the moonlight until Alex stopped, Miles pulling to a halt beside him.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"The other side of this bridge," Alex walked ahead, letting Miles follow behind. They turned the corner and a white light shone from above them, dusting their hair with a silvery shine.  
  
"Oh, I’ve seen this on TV before," Miles said, his eyes reflected the glimmer that the lights emitted, Alex looked at the bridge through Miles’ eyes, they were bright enough for him to read the whole piece: ‘I Love You Will U Marry Me’.  
  
"Yeah, it’s been there for years. I remember when it was painted sometime after the millennium. It makes me think," Alex and Miles sat down at a bench beside the lights.  
  
"Who wrote it?"  
  
"A bloke, Jason, I think his name were," Alex rested his head on Miles’ shoulder while his breath swirled around them. "He wrote it for someone called Clare. Quite a heart breaking story but in a beautifully sweet kind of way, you get me?"  
  
"Tell me, babe," miles stroked his fingers over Alex knuckles, happily listening to Alex talk in the dead of night when there was no one around but them.  
  
"They were together for a year when he did it, he were scared ‘o heights but leant over the wall, all the way up there, despite that," the bridge was soaring above them, many floors up from the ground they sat on. "He took her to the Odeon cinema, the one over there," Alex pointed in a general direction, opposite the bridge. "She thought they were just going to see a movie but then he turns to her and he says ‘I got something to show you’, you see, he’d painted it so if you looked out from the cinema then you can see it from there. She read it and accepted, nothin’ crazy, just ‘yeah’. She though he were bonkers. After all that, they split three months later and never did get married… They had a bit of a rocky time. She married someone else, she passed away from cancer too. Jason wanted all of it in lights ‘Clare Middleton I love you will U marry me’ it should say, a tribute to her, you know. Her family said that it weren’t a fairy tale life that she lived, drugs and social services getting involved, ending in a death that she didn’t deserve but their love was like a light, you know, something to celebrate. That’s how I like to see it anyway." Alex finished with a gentle sigh, Miles said nothing more, he was too far in thought to say anything.  
  
A few cars drove past, several moments between each passing, the neon lights of the words never flickered, they were always lit and shining a brilliant white. Alex found himself leaning into Miles’ warmth, his eyes beginning to close; the homely and comforting blend of the familiar view of Sheffield and smell of Miles gave Alex an excuse to feel this at home.  
  
"Alex, babe," the head boy shifted on the bench. "Don’t pass out on me, let’s go back," they stood up and began the long walk home, Miles hung his arm around Alex and kept him close. The lights had him thinking too.  
  
They clambered over the fence at the side of Alex’s house, sneaking in through the back door and scurrying up the stairs, wary of the creaky steps so they didn’t make a sound that would risk waking his parents. The bed was snuggled into for the second time that night and slept in until late afternoon. Both Miles and Alex were in the state where they were just about to wake but sleep kept dragging them back, an endless dance between the two states of consciousness

But what did wake them both, properly this time, was nothing but the rhythmical steps of Alex’s mum coming up the stairs. Alex thought nothing of it for the first few seconds but quickly remembered that she still thought they were in separate beds, the footsteps were nearing, steadily getting closer.  
  
"Miles," Alex whispered, his voice sewn with urgency.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Roll over."  
  
"…what?"  
  
"Just do it," Alex hissed gently, Miles was still in confusion so Alex took the problem into his own hands and rolled Miles off the bed with a push, as lovingly done as possible. He landed on the make-shift bed with the duvet dragging behind him.  
  
Just at that second, the door opened and his mother stood behind it.  
  
"What are you two doing? It’s midday and you’re still undressed and having- what? A pillow fight?" She stood, shaking her head at her son and his boyfriends faces. "You might want to think about getting ready soon, we’re taking Miles to the station today, remember?" She left the boys to get dressed and round up all of Miles’ belongings, well… That’s what she thought they were doing, but really she was leaving them to resume their ‘mornings’ that had already formed a routine (if you can call snogging a routine).  
  
Miraculously, they were ready in time for Miles to catch his train.  
  
"See you next year, Mi," Alex said into Miles’ coat as he hugged him.  
  
"Have a good Christmas, babe."  
  
"I’ll try," they parted with a kiss, just a quick one Alex’s behalf since he knew his mum was behind them somewhere.  
  
Miles boarded the train and it pulled away, leaving Alex and the rest of the waiting passengers on the platform.  
  
"I like him," his mothers said, stating the fact once they had begun to leave. "He’s a sweet boy, Miles."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where I got all the stuff about the bridge from: http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-14444608
> 
> sorry this chapter was a bit 'eh'


	16. Chapter 16

Christmas Eve passed slowly like an old, broken stairlift, if you may, seeming to drag on and on and on. After watching ‘Home Alone’ at least three times, along with The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and A Christmas Carol, Alex and his parents ate together, the fire in the living room gently crackled and popped as the red flames flicked up the dirty chimney.  
  
Once the Turner family finished forcing themselves through the routine of wishing 'Merry Christmas's to one another, Alex crawled up to bed and lay on the mattress, wrapping himself tight in his dark duvet to try and convince himself that he wasn’t alone in the cold bed. It felt weird without having Miles’ warm chest to rest on, his breathing to listen to and his arms around him. The night dragged even more than the day did… Christmas Eve was always the longest night, when he was a child it was for excitement of Santa coming to visit but now it was because he couldn’t sleep from the absence of another body.  
  
As morning began it's arrival, Alex rolled out of bed and stumbled in the gentle dark of his bedroom, rummaging around for his cigarettes. They'd fallen on the floor beneath his bookshelf as opposed to his bedside table where they’d usually be. Something else was missing from the table too... his watch was there, ring was there, gel was there as well as his comb, necklace and pen. Alex stood with one hand on his hip and the other holding his boxes of cigs, racking his brain to solve the puzzle of what was missing. Alex flicked on his light, hissing at how it burnt before adjusting to the brightness, the new light made it easier to discover what was missing, his book, one of his writing books. The boy still groggy from a bad nights sleep looked around his small room, skimming over tops of shelves, the floor and in his drawers, eventually finding it upon the stacked pile of more expensive classics. He stood, holding his misplaced book in his hand, thinking about how it ended up there. His mum would never move it, she didn’t move anything in his room and his dad never ended set foot in there, the only other persons could’ve been was Miles.  
  
Shaking off bemusement, the English student lit a cigarette and leant out the window that he’d cracked open, blowing the smoke into the early breeze and snow to watch it fade and dissipate. Miles hadn’t brought anything up or acted weirdly like he might of done if he'd read anything so maybe it’d just fell on the floor and he’d put it somewhere random without thinking anything of it? He hadn’t been left alone long enough to read much, Alex thought, as he relaxed against the window.

Not long after the sun rose from behind the neat row of townhouses, the Turner family gathered in the living room once more, trading seasons greetings around the tree. As Alex aged, the pile of presets he was given began to shrink, as if he were being weaned out of the idea of Santa despite already knowing about his tragic nonexistence. His presents from family and friends lay under the tree, opening the Aunties and uncles prizes first, then grandparents after. Socks and toiletries were all that was received, unsurprisingly.  
  
Alex moved on to gifts from his parents, and his parents vice versa. Alex bought his mother a candle, one of the proper expensive ones that made the room flood with it's scent as soon as she opened it. He had decided on the ‘Salted Caramel’ over the ‘Sugar Cookie’ for two reasons: Alex’s mother always said she loved the colour that his eyes glimmered when they got caught in the sunlight (Miles confirmed that the colour of the wax was the same as his eyes) but also because the sugar cookie candle smelt like pixie shit. Non debatable.  
  
His father had already opened his gift, commenting on the impressive wrapping. If Miles were here then he’d be giving Alex and ‘I told you so’ kind of grin. He’d bought his dad a small bottle of the aftershave he used to wear when Alex was a child, he still remembered it and the smell brought an old wave of nostalgia.  
  
"You didn’t go cheap this time, Al," his father looked over his present, impressed.  
  
"Miles’ influence," was all Alex had to say. His boyfriend had talked him into getting the more expensive stuff pretty easily.  
  
When they were in the candle, all he had to say was “Look, if you get the one that’s a little bit more expensive, it’s bigger and stronger smelling so you won’t have to burn as much and so it’ll last a lot longer than this," and something along the same lines in the cologne store.  
  
Alex’s gifts ranged from posh looking stationary, a couple records and a box set of DVDs. Jamie had bought him a belt with an extravagant, silver buckle, Nick bought him a cocktail shaker with a couple recipes and alcohols, Matt bought him a book and a silver chain necklace. Miles’ present was last under the tree. It was wrapped in matte black, as best as Miles could manage, a lacy silver ribbon tied across the sides and starry confetti stuck along the top. Alex slid his finger under the open fold and tore away the paper carefully, the gift inside felt soft but it was too flat to be a scarf or stuffed animal. He discarded the paper and unfolded the present that was covered in tissue paper, the pale gold stuff that you get in those posh shops (this just made Alex think ‘Oh god, this looks expensive already’). A pair of dress trousers, the colour of the love bites hidden under his shirts collar, revealed themselves. The folds and seams, zips and hems were pristine. In amongst the legs of materials, a white card was slipped inside, with the gold stamp of the brands logo printed in the middle and Miles’ neat handwriting on the back.  
  
‘Merry Christmas, Baby. I’ll see you soon, assuming that I’m home by now. Dont have too much fun without me, eh? ;) enjoy the trousers, I love a bit of burgundy on the legs, makes you proper stand out. You deserve to stand out, Best Wishes - Miles x’  
  
Alex slipped the card in his pocket before his parents asked about it, they were still engrossed in their own gifts to notice Alex’s little smile.

“Swit Swoo!” Alex’s mother whistled when she saw the trousers on Alex’s lap “Those look posh, this Miles spoils you!”

“Oh wow, too right. Keep him close, Al,” Alex’s dad nodded in approval before shuffling off in his slippers to make tea, probably.  
  
Christmas was a time when the street seemed to just slow down, everyone took a break, collectively. The atmosphere in every room felt so tranquil and placid, the day progressed slowly but this time it was to everyones delight since they were too busy laughing with hearty, jolly souls in the presence of family or stuffing their faces with rich foods that filled stomachs all round. Mulled wine was guzzled by the gallon, chocolates stuffed the cheeks of ecstatic children and christmas songs played over and over and over and over but no one cared. Twas the season to be jolly, after all.  
  
As the night began to slow dance it's way over, nonchalantly crawling nearer, the sky darkened in preparation for it’s arrival until the moon swung in it’s place. Alex’s dad was dozing in his arm chair, one hand on his jumper-covered stomach and the other loosely balancing an empty wine glass between his fingers, his paper hat sat skew-whiff over his face, vibrating and flickering as he exhaled. His mother was pottering around with dirty dishes in the kitchen, she was still slightly dancing to the christmas tunes playing on the radio, she was a little tipsy to say the least.  
  
“Night, mum. Merry Christmas,” Alex smiled when he saw her still sipping from a glass of shandy.  
  
“Oh, you going to bed already, dear?”  
  
“Yeah-”  
  
“Come and give us a kiss before you go then,” she hugged him, the warming smell of alcohol smothering him too, even though Alex had been drinking that evening he had been responsible for a seventeen year old and decided not to over do it. Matt, however, had decided to see how much wine he could neck as a ‘dare' set by no one but himself.  
  
Alex tried to mould the feeling of Miles with pillows, one beside him that felt like the warm, soft chest of the boy he was missing, and one across his waist where Miles would usually put his arm. Alex had done this too after he broke up with Alexa, only, she was the one with an arm around her waist when they slept together.  
  
Alex slept with Matt’s chain around his neck, he probably won’t take it off for a few more months until it became part of him, like Damon Albarn and his beaded neckalce, or that one guy from that TV show about demons with the Amulet his brother gave him… Alex wasn’t up to date with all these shows that people obsessed over.  
  
Boxing Day ran on, but instead of the feeling of a global unity for peace, the whole world seemed to be hungover or on the depressing come down from a sugar rush. Alex’s mum was having a hard time, let’s put it that way.  
  
"Matthew J Helders the third," Alex said into his phone once Matt had picked up.  
  
"Alexander David Turner, why do you feel the need to say my full name? I’m not in the right mental state for this," Matt’s voice was a ruin, that itself told Alex what kind of night he’d had.  
  
"Did you have a good Christmas?"  
  
"No better way to celebrate the birth of our saviour by drinking as many bottles of his wine-turned-water, Al… I think I threw up somewhere but I don’t remember, my throat just burns."  
  
"Thanks for the chain, I can't give you any sympathy though," Alex fiddled with the silver around his neck.  
  
"No problem, mate, cheers for the…ehhh, shit. I forgot what you got me."  
  
"That crappy little Dj extension thing."  
  
"Oh yeah! I might pull some girls with that."  
  
"That wasn’t my intention but… You’re welcome," the phone call ended with Matt leaving to get some tablets and Alex leaving to shower.  
  
The day after, most people were over any hangovers or had their sugar intake under control, recovering from the seasons antics. There were four days to waste until New Year’s Eve, no one did anything, it’s just the depressing realisation that the build up for Christmas over the last two months has blown over in the matter of days. There’s nothing to look forward to because the next event is New Years, when it dawns on you that a whole year has passed and you’ve achieved nothing but getting one year closer to inevitable death. Well… That’s how some people feel, others are more optimistic and see it as a chance to have a new outlook on life. The people that see the end of the year as the former, tend to be the people with no one to spend it with, this put Alex in the limbo between the two perspectives. He had Miles, but not with him. There was a New Years party that Matt had arranged with the girl he’d met at the party, it was an open house so any old soul could attend, most people arriving as couples with someone to share the overrated celebration with.  
  
The day’s slipped away between his fingers like sludge, the morning of New Year’s Eve found him curled up in bed reading a book Matt’d given him donkeys years ago.  
  
"When’re you comin’ over?" His friend asked through the phone.  
  
"Dunno, when’s it starting?"  
  
"Nine this evening, come over for pre drinks… And to help me set up."  
  
"Ugh."  
  
"Are you still in bed?"  
  
"Maybe," Alex sighed.  
  
"Come on, Al. You take forever to decide what to bloody wear."  
  
"Quiff or no quiff?"  
  
"I don’t really care."  
  
"I’ll take longer."  
  
"Okay, okay. No quiff."

* * *

Alex opened his curtains to let the brightness leak in after being deprived access for so long. He rummaged through shirts before deciding on a silk shirt of ivory that paired with Matt’s chain perfectly, he opened the box of his burgundy trousers and admired them in the light before pulling them on. The mirror reflected his body from head to toe, Chelsea boots, wine red trousers, shirt still half open and the sleeves pushed halfway up so they gathered around his elbows, his hair gelled completely back so he was looking more like a sharp-dressed blood-sucker than ever before.  
  
He looked for a while. Then a while longer. Miles touch was shining through clearly, the trousers being the source of his confidence, the hair pushing his self esteem further. A pair of glasses caught his eyes from across the room, as if they were positioned in a way to catch the light on purpose. Although it was December and the sun had passed its brightest already, Alex put on the shades, they were the ribbon that tied everything together.  
  
Alex glanced in the mirror that was now considerably darker thanks to the shades, he held his phone in his hand, standing in contemplation before deciding to open up the camera. Miles would probably appreciate seeing his influence. Alex wasn’t familiar with ‘mirror selfies’ so his first attempt was good enough for him, the lighting in his bedroom made his jawline look impeccable. It had been a week since Miles went home so the love bites he’d left behind had done their best to linger but the photo was too distant for them to be noticeable. Alex still left the top five buttons undone, flashing his chest with no shame so that anyone at the party could see that he had someone from the marking on said chest.  
  
"Put a coat on," his mum said, sipping from her tea "ooh, it’s like I’m repeating myself from your first day."  
  
"So I’ve learnt nowt then?"  
  
"You’re still me little boy," she smiled, standing up to search through the alcohol cupboard, lifting out a bottle of champagne and a pack of beer from the fridge. "My little boy that I won’t have arriving to a party without giving drinks to the host," Alex laughed at her, preparing fom to go, armed with alcohol. "You look very flash," his mother said at the door "Be safe."  
  
"I will… don’t day flash though."  
  
"Sharp, then," her eyes rolled before he left.  
  
Muffled music could be heard from Matt’s house before Alex’s even reached the front door, Matt had an old friend with a load of Dj-ing gear, he had been teaching Matt for the past year and tonight was going to be the biggest party yet, they’d be running the party as a duo.  
  
“Al! you made it, and with drinks too!” Matt answered the door after Alex had to ring the doorbell multiple times.  
  
“Don’t sound so surprised, Matt,” Alex followed him inside “Happy New Years.”  
  
“Happy New Year to you too, you look great, mate. Lovin’ the chain.”  
  
Together, Alex, Matt and his DJ friend who insisted on going by the name ‘Dee’, set up the wiring for strobe lights, smoke machines, disco balls and lasers. The decks took up the corner of the room, leaving the kitchen to be transformed into a bar with tinsel stuck around the room and the counter tops flooding with punch, alcohol, cans, bottles and cocktails.  
  
“I hope there’s going to be enough people round to consume all this,” Jill, Matt’s mum, said when she saw the mass of drinks in the kitchen.  
  
“Yeah, course there will. Helders House parties are the highlight of everyone’s year.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much just a write up of the only house party I've ever hosted because that's the best experience I've had with people desperately trying to down all the free alcohol. It was great.

As 9pm creeped on, the three boys drank beer after beer, easing up with alcohol to a point where a convivial atmosphere was all that was present in the room. Matt warmed up the speakers once people started sending texts, saying they were on their way. Everyone was bringing a plus one, and their plus ones were bringing their plus ones and so on... this was how Matt's annual house parties were never lacking.  
  
"Hey!" A chorus of voices came from the front door, three girls and five boys in suits made their way into the front from, cracking open drinks left, right and centre. After them, more people came every five minutes or so, by ten o’clock, the house was mobbed. The concept of time got lost in amongst all the welcomes and socialising and drinking and eating and dancing. Soon, enough it reached eleven. Girls in glitzy, skin tight dresses let their perfect hair get as messy as it wanted, and the boys that came either in their best dressed or casual wear followed after. The stairs were starting to fill with abandoned bottles, and if not bottles then it was a couple getting a little too close.  
  
Alex leant against the wall beside Matt and the Dj booth that was constantly playing anything that kept people moving, all three of the boys stood to enjoy the view of all their old friends and their friends friends trying to dance in the compact space. Grinding and gripping took place in the darkness, no questions asked, the girls in heels higher than the boys at the back of the room who thought they were being subtle, struggled to dance without falling. The strobe lights put everyone in their own world, like an ancient stop motion movie, with the laser lights that got caught up in the smoke-filled room, submerging everyone into a multicoloured trance.  
  
"Dee, take over the decks" Matt shouted over the music and loud voices. "I' not got long left to pull someone before New Years," he popped the lid off a green bottle and set off to mingle in the swarm. "Come on, Al, Dee likes to put on the faster tracks, get movin’ wi’ someone," Matt said before getting eaten whole by the heavy crowd of drunk (or 'heavily tipsy') ‘young adults’.  
  
Alex pushed himself off the wall and fought his way into the kitchen, he found the cocktail stuff and set about making a margarita. A girl in a green dress twigged on what he was doing, she sauntered over and asked for a drink.  
  
"A margarita will do for me too," her pupils were blown wide, with what? Alex didn’t know. She was eyeing up Alex’s open chest, if Alex were a little drunker, he’d probably think no more of it. The girl in green leant against the counter. "Did you arrive with anyone?" She asked, stroking her finger down where the English students buttons should be fastened.  
  
"Yeah," Alex lied as he poured her drink and left with his serving still in the shaker, not really wanting to spend any more time in her presence. People outside were smoking whatever they’d brought, and a group of girls drank from a cocktail fishbowl, sat beside someone who’d passed out already. Lightweight.  
  
Dee called everyone inside through the mic.  
  
“Alright Lads ‘n Lasses, we got about three more tunes until midnight. ARE YOU READY?! Let’s get dancin’!” He fiddled with the buttons, letting a fast track blare through. Alex got caught in the midst of it all, a couple of people ‘making out to music’ were shoved against him, girls with smiles brighter in the UV lights danced with the group. Alex let himself be moved, cheering and singing surrounding him until he seemed to get into a head-banging competition with a guy about his height.  
  
By the third song, Alex had downed a couple shots with some random men in fancy trousers and shirts. Matt was in the corner of the room with a thin girl, she was a petite brunette, Alex found the alcohol made him holler and whistle in their direction, luckily not loud enough over the music.  
  
"Okay folks, we’re coming up to the countdown," Dee turned down the music "I want you to count with me, aight? If you can still remember your numbers. Some o’ you are getting wasted too soon. We’ve still got a few hours left, mate!" Dee laughed, as another lightweight began emptying his stomach out the front door. "Ah don’t vom’ on the steps!" Dee stalled until they were seconds away from the new year. He played a track, quiet at first that began to build up to a drop.  
  
"TEN!"  
  
Alex took a shot.  
  
"NINE!"  
  
He tipped it down his neck.  
  
"EIGHT!"  
  
Alex retched.  
  
"SEVEN!"  
  
He laughed with the people around him.  
  
"SIX!"  
  
The girls took their shots, sticking out their tongues dramatically.  
  
"FIVE!"  
  
One slung her arm around Alex.  
  
"FOUR!"  
  
Her perfume choked him.  
  
"THREE!"  
  
Alex had to hold her up as she began to lose her footing from her high heels.  
  
"TWO!"  
  
The music reached a higher pitch, getting louder and louder.  
  
"ONEEEEE!"  
  
The bass dropped, hot and heavy, lights flashed and speakers boomed as Dee pulled a confetti cannon, showering the people in flecks of shiny foil and glitter.  
  
The girl hanging on to Alex’s arm staggered in front of him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, square on the lips. Alex was taken by surprise, he stumbled back, having to hold onto her for support. The girl mistook this for Alex returning to kiss, she used her shot-soaked tongue to push between Alex’s lips. The alcohol in his head ignored the messiness of her embrace, he'd missed being kissed for a whole week and all this registered as was something he’d been longing for for and age. So Alex let her. He let her stroke his chest and hold him tight, he let her coat his lips in her peach shimmer lipstick and use her tongue to her hearts content.  
  
"Happy new year, stranger," she said, loudly over the music, once she broke away. She titled her head to go below his jaw, she pressed a kiss… She went to bite…  
  
"No," Alex mouthed, pushing her gently off, it struggled to register what had just happened, all Alex knew is that it felt wrong. Very wrong and he didn't like it. "Happy New Year, but that’s all," he moved himself away from the scene as best as he could, passing Matt as he did. The petite girl Matt was stood with earlier was now sat on his lap, Matt had a lipstick smudge across his cheek and a wide smile that was enough to tell Alex that he’d got lucky. Dee left a playlist on as he jumped down from the decks.  
  
"Hey, Al," he strode over to Alex once they had escaped from the thick crowds. "Mix is a drink, will ya?" He asked, once they reached the kitchen. Alex shook a redbull and vodka as requested, he fell into conversations with Dee, not much was discussed since both boys were buzzing off adrenaline and had probably inhaled some of the second hand smoke at some point, along with all the alcohol they’d previously consumed. Only a few pizza slices were left over on the counters, the Dj picked at at the BBQ chicken that remained. Matt stumbled in at some point, the petite girl not by his side but seeing as he grabbed two ciders she was probably still waiting for him.  
  
"D’you reckon we can start the karaoke soon?" He asked Dee, scratching his head. "You're singing for us, Al"  
  
"Yeah, alright," Dee held his drink close to his chest as he worked his way through the people. Most of them had found someone to share the New Years kiss with and we’re still carrying out a drunken snogging session. The girl in green had already latched onto some other bloke.  
  
Dee pulled up the microphone, big headphones back around his neck. He yelled a ‘Happy New Year!’ That received a chorus of cheers and wolf whistles.  
  
"We’re gonna start this new year with a bit o’ karaoke, right? I want some good people up. If you can’t remember your own name, you’re too drunk to sing good enough, aiight?" Dee flicked the smoke machine on, letting a blanket cover the floor that slowly began to rise. The strobe lights flashed with the intense music, a build up for their first singer (because Alex had decided to be tactful and hang around in the corridor so Matt wouldn’t call him up).  
  
A girl with bleached blonde hair, cut short, stood beside the decks, she had a fierce shade of lipstick on. Bright red.

She whispered something to Dee who then started a new song, the girl adjusted herself, preparing to sing.  
  
Alex didn’t recognize the song, it wasn’t a stereotypical karaoke song, something new. She hit high notes impressively well for just a house party crappy karaoke. Dee set the smoke machine off, letting the strobe lights submerse everyone into darkness and then illuminating their bodies over and over.  
The red lipped singer took a bow once she’d finished, leaning towards the cheers. She stepped off stage, the mist that coated the floor made a path for her to which Alex caught her at at the end.  
  
"You were amazing," he shouted, a group of boys in tracksuits had taken the stage to sing Love Will Tear Us Apart.  
  
"Thank you," her accent was thick, not from around here.  
  
"You set the bar a bit too high for me there," Alex swigged from the beer that he’d picked up from somewhere at some point.

"You sing?" She said, Alex tried to locate her accent but he’d forgotten anything he’d ever learnt about accents.  
  
"A little, Matt wants me to do something."  
  
"Ah, well you’ve got an easy crowd, everyone is too busy acting more drunk than they really are."  
  
"Yeah, I noticed that… Unless someone’s spiked everyone’s drinks," Alex slipped the comb he’d had in his back pocket through his hair, arranging all the stray hairs to where they should be.  
  
"It’s the novelty of New Years, y’know it’s like everyone’s goal is to find someone to feel up for the old New Years kiss," she laughed. "I wanna see you sing, you’ve gotta get up there after these guys have finished… Doing whatever they’re doing."  
  
"Once I figure out what I’m gonna do."  
  
"Alright, I’ll be waiting," she parted, leaving Alex to go to her friends.  
  
The boys finished their song and jumped off stage, waltzing over to their whooping friends.  
  
"Come on Alexander!" Dee called "I know you’re hereeee," he whispered, mockingly terrifying.  
  
Alex rolled his eyes and necked the remaining drink he had before slowly swaggering over. Dee smiled, flashing his uneven teeth, taking Alex’s request and playing the lyric-less version through the speakers. The smoke engulfed the long legs of the crowd, disco lights flashing in their faces. The sofas had most of the people lying on top of each other, 3 inch heels can’t carry people for very long and the small groups were happy to be sat on each other’s laps.  
  
He held the microphone in its stand, Alex scanned the little gathering of people, dancing to the intro. He rested his lip on the microphone, the slight metallic taste mixing with the bitter beer.  
  
First beats kicked in, letting Alex clear his throat.  
  
“Too messed up, I should have followed you. Where did you get that smile and that fine hair? I get my kicks from your walk in, I should have gone I should have been there,” he unclipped the mic from it’s stand and waltzed around the limited space he had around the decks. “I wanna love, love, love, I wanna love, love, love right now. I wanna love, love, love, I wanna love, love, love right now. So come on!” He flung his free arm around, singing the lyrics off of the little screen without thinking about it much. “I bet you feel, I bet you taste good,” Miles sprung to mind, well, he was ‘in mind’ the whole evening but as more alcohol made it’s way there, Miles began to drown in it. Alex sang through the song, not really focusing on whether he was doing it right because he couldn’t care less, he was too busy trying to remember the taste of Miles’ kisses, the thought of forgetting was terrifying him.  
  
The red lipped girl caught Alex’s eye in the brief flash of light, she smiled once he stepped off stage.  
  
"Not bad," her thick accent particularly strong in these words.  
  
"Cheers," he combed through his hair again, yawning loudly "scuse me."  
  
A group of teenagers pushed passed, giggling loudly.  
  
"They’re sixteen, they shouldn’t even be drinking!" Someone shouted after them.  
  
"Piss off!" One laughed before getting dragged off by their friends. The night carried on in the same kind of style, people began to leave with someone around their arm, thanking Matt if they remembered.  
  
Alex found himself yawning more than usual. The rooms above the stairs were off limits to everyone in the house but these rules didn’t apply to Alex, not in the state he was in now. Dee had been allowed a curfew up to when he had to switch the music off, the police weren’t going to answer noise complaints at this time of year.  
  
Alex passed Matt on his way up the stairs, he was sat now in serenity with the bird he’d been with previously. Alex stumbled into one of the rooms that he assumed was a bedroom, it didn’t really matter what room it was, the floor was good enough to sleep on.  
  
Despite the rooms beneath him being reasonably packed with people, Alex still felt alone when he was down there. It wasn’t a something that was missing, it was a someone.  
  
Miles, obviously.  
  
He leant his head against the bath, his neck resting on the brim while he ran his finger down the seams of the burgundy jeans that Miles’ gotten him… Miles would do that sometimes, like when they were sat in the car together, he’d stroke his finger down the side of Alex’s thigh where the join of his trousers were. Alex must’ve fallen asleep like that because next thing he knew, he woke up in a random room with nothing but a faint headache waiting to cause havoc.  
  
"Oh so _now_ you decide to join us," Matt’s voice came from somewhere behind him "We just finished cleaning up the gear, you can still help with all the bottles and cups and shit, here, have this and the pull ya weight" Matt put a glass of water with some sort of fizzing pill in it in front of Alex who was sitting up on the sofa.  
  
“When did I get here?”  
  
“You walked in sayin’ you were tired at about six, ages after we’d kicked everyone out, and then you flopped on the sofa, out like a light.”  
  
"I remember none of that," Alex drank whatever it was that Matt put in front of him, taking it gladly.  
  
"Well once you’ve gotten over ya amnesia, pick up a few bottles."  
  
Dee was making something in the kitchen, mass amounts of toast for reasons unknown.  
  
"Y’alright?" Alex asked, smoothing out the creases in his ivory shirt, he’d lost his glasses at some point last night but still managed to keep his chain, shoes and trousers intact.  
  
"Yeah, putting all the electrical stuff away does y’ back in," he said, stretching his spine as if to click it into place.  
  
The kitchen was a state, still. Abandoned shoes, spilt drinks and soggy pizza slices were covered in cheap tissue paper confetti, all over the counter top (not counting the section that Dee had cleared to make his piles of toast). Alex kicked around a few cans into a corner, not really feeling the whole ‘tidying is fun’ vibe.


	18. Chapter 18

It took the whole remainder of the day to finally make even just the first floor of a the house presentable, Matt didn’t know his way round a vacuum cleaner so Alex had to do the best he could… The best he could was mediocre. Matt’s Mum had said that if they were going to use her house for a party, then they can tidy up without her input, she’d refused to help before but after seeing three boys fail to use a mop, she had to chip in.

"Alright, alright, get out o’ here," she shooed them out the kitchen to kick them into the small back garden. "You can manage to pick up rubbish, right?"  
  
"Oh but Jill," Dee grunted "people have up chucked all over the place!"

"Oh but Dee!" Matt’s mother mocked "I don’t care!" She smiled at the boys and shook her head dismissively, closing the door behind her, locking three mildly hungover boys outside.

With it being January (and being in Britain) it was cold as hell, the frozen vomit alone could tell you that… Alex fiddled with the buttons on his shirt, fastening them up until the last button, saving his chest from raising any more goosebumps, he’d woken up with more buttons undone than he’d started with.  
  
"What are you lot doing before you go back?" Dee asked, tossing a few empty crushed Carlsberg cans into a big plastic bag.  
  
"Dunno, I got a load of homework that I haven’t even touched yet," Matt scrunched his nose as he picked up a few dirty plates.  
  
"Shit," Alex whispered a little too aggressively "I forgot about that."  
  
"Ahh, you got like four days left, ain’t ya? You’ll be fine," Dee picked up a Malibu bottle and poured out the leftover liquid over the frosted grass. "I’m so glad I left school, you two are bonkers to voluntarily take another two years."  
  
With the grass cleared, Dee made his way home in his tech-packed van after they’d ordered a fresh pizza, Alex stayed for a second night at Matt’s because by the time the house was back as it should be, it would be too dark out to trek back home. And his Mum would kill him.  
  
"Who was that girl you were with last night anyway?" Alex asked. He'd borrowed a pair of Matt’s pyjamas that were a little too big for him, that would have to do since he wasn’t really wanting to sleep in his expensive trousers and shirt that was beginning to crease again. The baggy shirt and loose bottoms just made him look smaller and more fragile than usual, which was already pretty small without the help of large clothes.  
  
"I’m waiting for her to call me before I say anythin’ might ‘o just been a 'I need someone to talk to for the night' thing… We’ll see though, she seemed keen," Matt laughed, closing the curtains.

* * *

The next four days weren’t worth documenting, Alex spent most of it stressing over piled up homework for what felt like forever. And when he wasn’t studying, eating or sleeping, he was thinking about Miles to fill in the little loneliness he left behind.  
  
Matt met up with him on the train by the end of their break, the journey went as it usually would, not much changes in January apart from people spending all their money on Gym cards that they’re not even going to use. The train had become such a routine thing now it felt like friend, Alex had thought so many things out that very window, he couldn’t help but feel as if all his own quiet introspection had been absorbed into the glass, he was happy with that thought until he left the vehicle to make the last bit of the trip to school.   
  
Denise (the lady at the desk of the school house) was busy talking to Gwen when Alex walked in.  
  
"Did you have a good Christmas, miss?" Gwen asked, resting her elbow on the desk, blonde hair tumbling down off her sharp shoulders.  
  
"Oh, I did thank you, Gwen.” Denise cheerfully replied, painting her nails a new crazy shade of pink, grateful to be involved with the students. “I don’t need to ask you if you had a good New Years, do I, Gwennie?"  
  
Alex looked up from his suitcases at this point to see what she was referring to, he caught what the head girl was trying to cover up just before her gentle hand reached her neck.  
  
"Oh dear, It’s very unprofessional of me," she flashed a look at Alex when she said those words "My collar just isn’t high enough and I’ve ran out of concealer, I feel a right state!"  
  
"Calm yourself," Denise laughed, blowing gently over the wet varnish on her nails "I’ve seen much worse around here."  
  
Alex felt personally victimized by now, he silently made his way upstairs, as if they wouldn’t notice his previous presence. And, to be honest, the thought of someone kissing and biting at Gwen’s neck made Alex feel a bit nauseous, throwing the thought out before he physically shuddered.  
  
Pushing open his dorm door, he chucked his suitcases beside Matt and Jamie’s bags before crossing the corridor to enter Miles’ room. His boyfriend hadn’t arrived yet and his dorm room window looked out onto the driveway where all the taxis dropped people off, Nick was inside when Alex entered.  
  
"Hey, Al," Nick nodded whilst Alex greeted him back. "What're you doing?"  
  
"Waiting for Miles," Alex replied, he knelt on Miles’ bed and gazed out the window, much like a meerkat.  
  
He began to lose interest once ten minutes passed, Nick made him a tea and kept him talking.  
  
"Where the hell is he?" the English student complained, sipping his drink with a pout.  
  
"Maybe he’s just-"  
  
"WAIT!" Alex cut Nick off unintentionally when a slick black cab pulled up on the gravel drive. The wait for whoever it was inside to exit took forever.  
  
"Is it?" Nick peered out the window.  
  
"I’ll run down anyway," Alex abandoned his drink on the bedside table to jog down the stairs, two steps at a time. He pushed open the heavy front door and walked out into the cold, the gravel beneath his feet crunched under each step. The taxi cab door opened and the long legs Alex knew all too well stepped out.  
  
"MI!"  
  
"AL!"  
  
Both boys held their arms wide open, Alex threw himself into Miles, yelping as he twirled him around.  
  
"Baby, how were you?" Miles asked, still with his arms around Alex’s waist and Alex’s legs resting on his hips.  
  
"Lonely," Alex said, pressing a kiss into Miles neck whilst he was still in his arms. He’d missed Miles’ aroma a great deal.  
  
"We’ll, we’re here now, Darlin'," Miles looked up at Alex through his long lashes, eyes taking in his face again after missing it for days, Alex did the same, leaving them both gazing at each other for a sickeningly sweet amount of time.  
  
Miles put him down and picked up his bags, taking this as a chance to kiss him quickly before pulling his suitcase along.  
  
"Thank you for the trousers, by the way."  
  
"You like them?"  
  
"They’re gorgeous, way out of my worth."  
  
"As if. Come here," Miles propped his bags up against the door and held his boyfriends jaw in his hands, reuniting their lips after the break, his tongue getting used to the feeling of Alex again, likewise his lungs to the sharp breaks and mumbles "That’s for missing New Years."  
  
"Ah, I think someone might’ve beaten you to it, sugar."  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Some girl snatched me at Matt’s house… She tried more than that but I pushed her off. I don’t remember much but I know it was after the countdown, she were completely out of it… terrible."  
  
"She weren’t good enough for ya?" Miles raised his eyebrows, smirking. He wasn’t surprised at all that Alex got pulled, he’d expected it and, to be honest, would’ve been disappointed if no one attempted.  
  
"Definitely not. You raise the bar too high," Alex ended with another kiss, happily biting the greatly missed, sweet lips. Miles used his tongue to remind Alex of his taste, and vice versa, leaving Alex to feel for support as he let a moan slip out that Miles’d evoked… easily this time seeing as he’d forgotten how good Miles felt.

* * *

School resumed in the swing of the new year, Alex’s classes felt harder to sit through, not so much of a breeze anymore. He only looked forward to the times in between when Miles and himself slipped away to smoke. Alex had smoked more in the time he’d been with Miles than he had ever before, Miles just made it look so good, he made it look so _sexy_ , there was just no resisting.  
  
They’d reek of smoke when they got back to class but it could always be worse, besides, the teachers don’t really care much about what the students do, if their grades aren’t slipping, it’s not violent and isn’t causing problems, why bother? They’re paid to teach and that’s what they’ll do.  
  
Dannii shared chocolates with Alex during classes, she had mass amounts left over from family members that didn’t know what else to get her for Christmas, though she did steal all the orange crunches and vanilla cups prior, leaving Alex with the strawberry dreams and hazelnut swirls. Her boyfriend had ended it with her, she said that he sent her an essay of an email before Christmas.  
  
"It’s not your fault, it’s mine’ he said…. Can you believe that?!" Dannii spoke once her cheeks weren’t full of truffles and pralines.  
  
"You’re better off now though, surely?" Caramel dripped down Alex’s chin when he bit through the chocolate coating.  
  
"Yeah, back on the scene, however you like to put it. Also saves me from having to send a Christmas present all the way to America,” she laughed but it got cut off short by her frown “I did cry, a _lot_ , I cried to the point where I couldn’t produce any more tears. I got tired of it eventually, ruining the holidays, so I stuck on some strong, independant ladies albums and sung… a lot. It works, ten out of ten, would recommend,” she tossed a random chocolate into her mouth and ate it with a look of self pride.  
  
They paid little attention to the actual class, chocolate and heavily gossiping was so much more appealing… Until after class when the two realized how little they’d taken in.  
  
"You’re a bad influence on me, Dannii," Alex tutted when they left and began walking through the corridors.  
  
"Well if we go down in this class, we go down together."  
  
"Who’s going down where?" Miles appeared, out of nowhere.  
  
"Miles! D’you want a chocolate?" Dannii pulled out the small box.  
  
"So that’s why you always taste like chocolate whenever you’ve just had english!" Miles smiled cheekily at Alex, who blushed the same shade as the raspberry ripple kisses. Miles took a cappuccino cremé and walked between Dannii and Alex, his arms round each of their shoulders, the three looking like the protagonists from some cheesy 90s rom com.  
  
The trio went to lunch together, the usual place, Gherkin’s Deli. Miles ordered for them while Dannii and Alex sat at the table outside.  
  
"Thanks for letting me tag along," Dannii picked at a plastic fork, bending the prongs back until they snapped so she could make a little square out of the plastic pieces on the table.  
  
"The more the merrier, plus we get a discount," the English students watched the cars and people pass by while they waited for Miles to return.  
  
A good five minutes passed until Alex got tired and tried to look through the window to see what was making Miles take so long, he couldn’t see much for the sunlight reflecting back at him but he could see Miles talking to Gherkin. His boyfriend took something from the cashier, not change, it was something else, Alex couldn’t see what but Miles slipped it in his pocket quickly before taking three subs to the table outside.  
  
"You took your time," Alex said after Miles sat down, handing out the food.  
  
"Yeah, I had to sort out a little something," he spoke in a way that should be finished with a wink "it’s not drugs though, that's probably something you'd consider."  
  
"If you want drugs, you’d come to me," Dannii chipped in. Both Miles and Alex looked at her, Alex with his eyes slightly widened and Miles with his eyebrows furrowed.  
  
"What?" They said in unison.  
  
"I’m joking!" She laughed "Could you really imagine me as a dealer? What a concept…"  
  
"I’m starting to regret accepting chocolates from you."  
  
"Yeah, I laced them with all sorts, you’ll be off your head in no time."  
  
The idea of Dannii being an aspiring drug dealer kept the three entertained while they ate, Dannii happily made mental notes of the looks that the boys would flash at each other, she noticed Miles’ hand on the others knee and Alex kicking him gently under the table. She also picked up on the little things they’d whisper to each other, heaven knows what they were whispering about but it seemed to be very intriguing, whatever it was.  
  
“How’re your’e French classes going?” Dannii asked, brushing the crumbs off her skirt.  
  
“Eh, alright. I get bored though so I tend to end up translating cheesy pick up lines.”  
  
“Oh so you’re planning to pick up some French guys now?” Alex raised his eyebrows, joking with his expression.  
  
“No, I just know you like it when I speak French.”  
  
“Shut it,” Alex blushed as Dannii giggled.  
  
“It’s true though, you aren’t denying it.” Miles sipped from his drink, not breaking eye contact with Alex. “Est-ce que ton père a été un voleur? Parce qu’il a volé les étoiles du ciel pour les mettre dans tes yeux,” his eyes glinted with the look that Alex knew all too well.  
  
“You know I have no idea what you’re saying,” Alex tried to smother his swooning from Miles speaking french… he knew it turned him on and since Miles found out, he hasn’t let it go since. Not that Alex cared, mind, because it meant that he spoke in the accent more often and he loved that when he wasn’t teasing him.  
  
“That doesn’t matter, I could be sayin’ ‘Mon aéroglisseur est plein d'anguilles’ and you would still be flustered not knowing what I said.”  
  
“Shhh!,” Alex blushed.  
  
“You two are crazy,” Dannii shook her head “you know what the best pickup line I’ve ever heard is? okay, get ready for this,” she cleared her throat, building suspense, “Everyone says that happiness starts with a H, but I think it starts with U.”  
  
“Or what about ‘Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?’, I like that one.”  
  
“Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favourite.”  
  
“Awh, you absolute sap, Al.”

* * *

 

"Right, you ready to go?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Let me just thank Gherkin for this favor again, you two can walk back and I’ll catch up wi’ you," Miles gathered up their rubbish and carried it inside. The two english students began their walk back, dawdling along so Miles didn’t have to leg it to catch up.  
  
"Has he said anything?" Dannii asked, checking her make up in the window of a car.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Well… you know," her eyebrows raised as if that would jog his memory.  
  
"No?"  
  
"God Al, I’m on about tomorrow!"  
  
"Oh… No, not yet," Alex stood beside Dannii, combing back his hair in his reflection of the window of the passengers seat. "This is when we find out someone’s sat inside this car."  
  
"Shhh, don’t say that, you’ll make me feel right anxious."  
  
"Look at you two, narcissists!" Miles stuck his tongue out as he walked towards them, only to join them in fixing his appearance in the car window.  
  
"We look dead shady," Dannii said once an elderly man shuffled past, giving them a judgmental look. "Anyway, if we don’t get a shimmy on then we’ll miss last class."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahh, guess who spent several evenings searching for french pick up lines... since I got them off the internet they're most probably a load of rubbish, but anyway, this is what it should be if you were wondering:
> 
> Est-ce que ton père a été un voleur? Parce qu’il a volé les étoiles du ciel pour les mettre dans tes yeux.
> 
> Translation:  
> Is your dad a thief? Because he stole the stars from the heavens to put them in your eyes.
> 
> Mon aéroglisseur est plein d'anguilles
> 
> Translation:  
> My hovercraft is full of eels. (this is a Monty Python reference... just to clarify)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if anyone's still reading this but... yeah

Once the students _finally_ got their arses back to school, they were late for registration, but that was dismissed without much care. School ended and everyone made their way home or to the schoolhouse. Majority of students were beat after the first day back after two weeks of not doing anything, as were Dannii, Miles and Alex so bed was the only thing on anyone's mind.

"G’Night babe," he kissed Miles sleepily.

"Nite Darlin’," Miles hugged his waist. He still hadn't said anything about tomorrow, Alex thought silently. But he shrugged it off, leaving just the fatigue on his shoulders so by the time he rolled into bed, he was out like a light… at least up until voices started again hours later.

"Oi, piss off," Alex heard someone enter the dorm. It was either early morning or late night, he couldn’t decide yet, all he knew is that it was pitch black and he couldn’t see or remember much. "I don’t know,” the voice spoke again in a hissed whisper “Go into my dorm, Nick knows what I’m doing, take your uniforms too," Alex knew by now that it was Miles, he knew he was talking to Jamie and Matt but he didn’t know why.

Further the door opened, letting two figures exit with clothes in their arms, dusky orange light drafted into the black room from the gap in the door like smoke, curling around the two bodies before they left.

"Mi?" Alex rubbed his eyes to free them from sleep, he pushed himself up on his bed to rest against the pillow, still sinking in the warmth of his blankets "What’s going on?" the darkness never answered his question, he was left guessing where the body of the voice was.

"Nowt babe, just wanted to wish you a happy birthday," Miles must’ve walked over at some point, Alex couldn’t tell, but he could feel Miles climbing onto the bed.

"You remembered?" Alex felt his heart lighten, even he’d forgotten it was his birthday as he woke up.

"Course I bloody remembered," Miles kept his voice low and husky. "Joyeux anniversaire, babe," He clambered over Alex to kiss under his jaw, sitting on the others thighs and sliding his thumbs over the waistband of Alex’s boxers beneath the warm duvet. Alex spread his fingers through Miles’ hair, happily letting his boyfriend kiss down his neck, sending waves of bliss through his head.

"What time is it?" Alex asked, finishing his sentence with an involuntary moan from deep in his throat that made vibrations wave under the pale skin of his neck. Once Alex asked that, Miles stopped dotting his neck with his kisses to raise his eyebrows, as if to say ‘You’re really only concerned about what time it is right now?’

"Dunno, half six ish?" the head boy traced swirls down his boyfriends bare chest that was still lovely and warm from the duvet. "Doesn’t matter anyway because we don’t need to get up," Miles whispered down his neck, he kissed Alex’s cheek and nibbled lightly on his ear, probably turning it pink, you wouldn’t know from the pitch black that surrounded them.

"Why?" Alex gently gasped from his unexpected actions, Miles had begun to follow the trail of invisible swirls left from his finger with his lips, spreading kisses in the traced pattern to then follow over it with his tongue.

"I’ve arranged a little day off for you," the thin sliver of light from behind the curtains made his eyes glimmer devilishly. "You’ll go to your first classes as normal, okay? I’ve already sorted out the day off for me so I can arrange a little surprise, then just before lunch you need to call in sick so I can pick you up from the sheds when the bell goes."

"Got it,"Alex felt a grin dance across his lips, Miles’ cheekiness kept him on his toes.

The boy straddling him kissed him square on the lips, hushed moans sounding from both of the boys without any shame, it was clear now why Miles wanted Matt and Jamie out. They were more than content to carry on this way until they had to start thinking about getting dressed. It had popped up in discussion before, that they’d never do anything more on a school bed.

"I mean, call me too classy but I don’t really want to do anything on these shitty beds," Alex had said.

"Yeah, they’re not the best," Miles replied.

"Miles…. Don’t tell me you’ve had sex on a school bed before."

"Hey!" He held his arms up in defense "Desperate times called for desperate measures,” he smirked “No, I’m just messing about that bit, but you know how it gets… it just… happened. It’s not like I _planned_ it, if I were to plan something then I have a higher game than one of these beds."

“I don’t believe you,” Alex pulled on his uniform in the pale blue, crisp light that struggled to make it’s way through the misted window.

“You’d be surprised… the teachers could genuinely not care less what goes on in these dorms. And anyway, every single person was out, besides from us,” Miles walked over before Alex got his shirt on to rub his thumbs into the muscle between Alex’s lower neck and shoulder blades, pressing deep circles into the pressure points until Alex sighed in contentment. He didn’t think he could feel any more relaxed but apparently he was wrong. So wrong.

Jamie and Matt came in once Miles had slipped away to get dressed, Jamie scurrying straight over to the kettle (he was lethally on edge without his morning tea).

"Happy birthday, Al!" Matt pulled him into a headlock and ran his knuckles over his head.

"Ow ow ow," Alex struggled in his tight grip "Cheers Matthew."

"Here, we got y’ a little something," Matt pulled out a present from underneath the bunk beds, handing it over to the now ruffle-haired boy. Alex tore away the thick paper while Jamie poured out three teas. Hidden inside the paper was a pile of lottery cards, a cheesy book about adulthood and a comb.

"See, you’re a big boy now, you get boring presents… Except one maybe," Matt raised his eyebrows, hinting at the book.

"What is it?" Alex held the book in caution, he had little trust in Matt when it came to things like this and he’d guessed already that Matt wasn’t meaning the book itself.

"Open it!" Matt urged him, his smile making Alex feel all the more uncomfortable. Nevertheless, he opened the first page of the hardback book, a foil, square packet sat on the page, strategically placed.

"Oh my god, Matt, really?" Alex held the purple packet between his fingers. Jamie spluttered from the other side of the room, choking on his tea.

"Matt, why” his cheeks were so easy to turn red “Al, I had no say in that…. That’s Matt’s half of the gift," Jamie wiped up the drink he’d spilt all over the counter.

"Hey, hey," Matt silenced the two. "No glove? No love. I’m only being protective," he patted Alex on the shoulder, his parenting face on show. “Geddit, protective. Oh man, I’m on fire!”

"Well thanks anyway, I guess" he put the book on top of his suitcase and slipped everything else into his back pockets and the comb onto the bathroom shelf (After running it through his hair several times).

"There’s this too," Jamie threw something in Alex’s direction, one of those 3d badges with 18 printed across the front, Alex pinned it to the lapel of his blazer with thanks before they headed out the room. By this point, Miles had already evacuated the building stealthily, leaving Alex in guessing as to what he was doing.

Registration took forever, as usual, Alex escaped as quickly as he could to get to English class, awaiting Dannii’s welcome.

"Oh my god, happy birthday Al!" She stood up from her seat and pulled Alex into a hug, her fruity perfume whisking around them. "What did you get?"

"Ehmm, not much, yet… Actually, I’m not feeling to well," he tactfully faked a cough.

"Aww, that sucks, after-" Dannii was cut off by Alex’s string of more dramatic coughs "What? Why are you- ohhh, I see," Dannii nudged him, raising her eyebrows to show that she was in on the game "Pulling the old sickie are we?"

“Mmhm, Miles is off today and he’s gonna pick me up at lunch… I dunno what for though, he won’t tell me owt.”

“That’s adorable, you lucky sod,” she smiled “here, I got you a little something, open it, open it!” she tapped the present in Alex’s hand and watched him peel back the pink shimmery paper. “That’s the only paper I had left, by the way, but I know you’re not the type to get butt hurt over pink paper.”

Behind the wrapping, on the cover of a DVD case stood a trouser-less man in a green shirt, holding a gun to the floor in front of a caravan letting pink smoke out over the dusty plains.

“I could only get you season one because I’m broke and apparently Breaking Bad isn’t cheap these days…”

“Thank You Dannii, actually I’ve been meaning to watch this,” he smiled.

“No problem, doll. It also fits with my drug dealer alter ego, don’t ya think?”

Miss Reynolds took Alex’s class before lunch, she was the pushover, you either loved her or picked on her during lessons, Alex fit into neither category, he felt sorry for her more than anything, so that meant he didn’t add to her problems but also had little respect for her.

Coughing, whining and groaning were the only sounds he made during that lesson.

"Alex!" She stopped her lecture mid way to turn her attention to him " _What_ is the matter with you?" Her hair was all over the place, her eyes wide and almost twitching. She was on her last nerve, the class knew that, all the other students held their breath to see where this’d go, Alex was never usually the one to be disruptive.

"I don’t feel well, Miss," he used his puppy eyes to their best ability, if he had anything led to rely on, it was them.

"Alright, well can you stop whining and get yourself to the office, please? I’m at my wits end already."

"Yeah we know that, Miss," one of the boys heckled from the back. "You had no wits in the first place."

Alex gathered his books and left the classroom as swiftly as possible, another second in there and he’d be ripping his hair out along with her. Steady pumping in his chest kept him grounded up to seeing the lady at the office who had the power to let him leave.

"Do you want to key to the sick room?" she asked after Alex listed his fake symptoms, acting at his best.

"Uhm, nah. I’ll be alright in me dorm."

"Oh, so it’s one of _those_ illnesses, I’m sorry to hear it’s on your birthday too," the secretary pointed at the eighteen badge still pinned to him.

"Yeah, you get a lot of these kinds of absences, don’t you?"

"I know all the tricks in the book, my boy. I’m not going to stop you from enjoying today, you got this far so I’ll let you off. This never happened, aye?"

"Aye," Alex smiled at the secretary, leaving the school to wait back by he sheds, as ordered, he crouched under the windows of the first floor to avoid being spotted. Cloud watching occupied the time it took for Miles to arrive, the sound of his footsteps shook Alex out if his daydreaming.

“Hey,” his heart had relax so much in the last five minutes he never noticed it’s presence, but seeing Miles’ face reminded him of what he was waiting for, that got him pumping again.

“Hey, Birthday boy,” Miles did the little lopsided smile that Alex adored “Ready to go?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he let Miles kiss up his neck again, along the white of his collar up to the little tufts of hair, today was going to be thoroughly enjoyable. “I don’t think I’ll be able to take you giving me all this love an’ attention.”

"Well, you’re gonna have to because today’s your day and you’re gonna enjoy it," Miles took Alex hand and held a few moments of eye contact, as if that would make his words any truer. "I’ve got a cab waiting for us," the head boy pulled Alex along by the hand, a smile keeping him guessing as to where they were going to go.

"Yer not gonna tell me, are you?" Alex said once they sat together in the back of the cab, close enough for Miles to stroke the seams of his trousers like he always did.

"I can tell you the ideas that didn’t make the cut, if you want?" He said, voice sounding much more relaxed, perhaps he felt Alex’s thigh to soothe himself as much as he did for Alex. "I were thinking about going to that new bowling alley, or the skating rink but I thought nah, maybe going swimming or the beach or summat but the weather wasn’t sporting that idea. Then I was thinking about everything you can do legally being eighteen and all, but Matt already got you the lottery tickets, right? And I don’t want to just take you to the pub and I could’ve easily taken you to a tattoo parlor but I need to stay in your parents good books… Now that I think about it, I should’ve gone with the Spa idea, can’t remember why I ruled that one out to be honest."

The idea of Miles considering to book massages, foot rubs and saunas was incredibly entertaining to Alex.

"You’ve thought a lot about this, haven’t you?"

"Yeah, I want it to be perfect," Miles smiled cheekily, making fun of his own cliché ways while the taxi cab took a turn onto the main road, Alex still questioning their destination.

"Mi, Tell me where we’re going," Alex pouted "please, I don’t like being kept on the edge."

"Babe, don’t ruin surprises, I’ve had to bribe Matt to keep it quiet and all."

"Matt knows?"

"Yeah, don’t worry ‘bout it, we’ll be there in, like, five more minutes," the taxi driver pretended not to be paying attention to his passengers conversation despite him finding it highly amusing, he picked up the pace and managed to drop the boys off sooner.

“I think I know where we are,” Alex said slowly, flashing a glance to Miles, just in case he could read his mind and confirm whether or not his thoughts were correct.

“Lets go then,” Miles swung his arms enthusiastically after paying and thanking the driver, leading Alex down the path until they turned the corner, facing a big, blue entrance.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

White, dazzling lights flashed across the top of the facade of the long building, bright, quirky paintings of swirls and people and stripes decorated the wooden panels. Every ten seconds or so you’d hear a distant whooshing sound followed by a series of joyous screams and cheers. Alex looked at his boyfriend with eyes filled of childish excitement, smiling giddily as his eyes glimmered, reflecting the look of success on Miles’ face. He hugged Miles quickly, confirming that he’d chosen well and that he couldn’t have asked for better.

‘Fry’s Freakout Funfair’ sparkled in even more lights above their heads as they walked in together, hand in hand. Several lines of visitors lead up to the three desks, families waiting in the January sunshine to buy tickets, children in pushchairs, parents trying to keep nagging kids quiet and other young couples hugged while in line to pay. Luckily, Miles had thought ahead and tugged Alex over to a separate desk and gave over the slip he’d booked previously to the man at the ticket booth, taking two fluorescent green wristbands in return.

“You got fast track tickets?” Alex asked while Miles tore off the white sticker backing on his wristband, attaching it to his wrist.

“Yeah, if we use the normal ones then we’ll probably only get on three rides before it closes, that’s why I was off this morning, I were lining up for ages to get these,” he smiled.

“But these ones cost a fortune!” Alex eyes widened.

“Relax, Reeeeelax,” the head boy shushed him. “C’mon, what are we gonna go on first? We don’t have any lines to wait in now,” Miles twisted the green loop around his wrist. “D’you reckon they’ve got the water rides running?” Miles raised his eyebrows, trying to tempt Alex with the idea as they began to walk into the actual park.

Food stalls of all kind surrounded them in the centre, the cobblestone floor was covered in used up tags and tickets, sweet wrappers and spilt slushies, usually rubbish like that would make a place look trashy but it made the place look _visited_  and _enjoyed_ , in a weird kind of way. It might just be the vivid shades of fun colours, the heavily sweet smell of candy floss, lollipops and fresh doughnuts or the sound of screaming, cheering and laughter that filled the boys with a nagging eagerness to begin, or it could just be skipping school to act like 8 year olds again that sparked the childish fire inside them.

Around the back of the park were the big rides, the proper massive roller coasters, spinners, loops and towers. The rides that people came for. To one side were all the little tea pot rides, carousel, waltzers, bumper cars and whack-a-moles, On the other side were the fun houses, haunted mansions, bungee jumps and water rides. Everywhere else was filled with hook-a-ducks, jewelry stalls and darts.

One ride stood several feet above the highest roller coaster dip, the monstrous booster, a long metal body, like that of a crane, with four seats attached to each end. Every now and then it’d zip up and down, turning a lot of peoples attention to it.

"Shall we go on that first?" Miles asked, shielding his eyes from the sun just to look at the top where four people were swinging their legs, waiting for the drop to hit them.

"Ehhh. No. Not a chance, maybe we’ll ease into it but I ain’t throwing myself in the deep end this early because I’m not stupid," Alex felt green from just the idea of the ride.

"So you wanna go on the carousel first?"

"You know what, maybe I might just want to go on a toddlers ride at some point,” Alex stood with his hands on his hips, playing with the idea of being a little kid again.  “I think we should go on the water ones first ‘cause then y’ can dry off. There is a method to these things," the English student laughed at Miles who began shaking his head in exasperation. "You’ll thank me later for my practicality. I promise you."

Puddles surrounded the ground of the ‘Supreme Soaker’, every minute or so a cart full of people would exit the tunnel to rush down the drop, showering the people in line with freezing water.

"You sure you wanna get your uniform wet?" Miles rolled up his sleeves, as if that’d help him magically become waterproof.

"Yeah, I’d rather that than a… What are they called? The waterproof poncho things?"

"Cagoules?"

"Yeah, those."

"Awh, but you’d be adorable in one!" Miles pouted, smiling as a toddler walked past in an elephant themed cagoule. "Look, you can even get animal ones!"

"No."

Moments later both boys were sat in the front of the roller coaster cart, both in ‘waterproof ponchos’.

"I can’t believe I let you put a cagoule on me," Alex said bluntly, holding onto the bar at the front of his seat in the cart, shaking his head at his own lack of stubbornness. He didn’t really care at all, just a mildly-pissed-of-looking Alex in a floral cagoule made Miles smile so much that he happily let him enjoy the moment while it lasted.

"Well _I_ can’t believe how adorable you look in it, the little pink flowers really bring out your eyes," the shit eating grin across Miles’ face showed in itself how proud he was of his accomplishments.

"How come I get the flowery one and you get the normal one?"

"Because I’m not the lucky birthday boy."

"Alright guys, keep your hands in the cart at all times and hold on to any loose items you may have," the obviously sleep deprived teenager that worked for the park started pressing buttons and levers from behind the desk, he spoke in a monotone voice like he had to say the words every five minutes.

The cart jolted forward before beginning the journey into the black abyss of the tunnel, making the girls squirm and whisper quietly behind them. After a gradual build up the track, the cart emerged into the sunlight again, rolling to the top of a steep drop that they’d fall down any second now, with water gushing out from beneath them and tumbling down to the ground.

The roller coaster stopped for a moment or two, letting people decide whether to look over all the park from a new height or stare down at the up and coming drop.

"ARE YOU READY?" A deep recorded voice boomed through the speaker. Alex grabbed for Miles’ hand and Miles grabbed for Alex.

"READY. SET. G—"

"AHHHHH!" The girls shrill screams and laughs drowned out the speakers voice, screaming at a heightening pitch from the speed of their descent.

Wind whipped past all the passengers on the cart, throwing water from beneath them over their heads with hair flying all over the place. Alex screwed his eyes shut just before they hit the pool of water that was reaching them at (what felt like) the speed of light. The face of the carriage slapped against the surface of the water before letting it splash all over the people both in the line and on the ride.

“Oh my god, you’re soaking,” Laughing, Miles looked to Alex once the ride pulled to a stop in the pool.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Alex said through a smile, wiping away the water on his eyelids. The water had found it’s way inside the hood, dripping down his shoulders and all over his hair. Sunlight found a gap in the clouds and began to light up the park, surprising in January. The two left the ride and made their way onto others, skipping past all those in line for the spinners, loops and upside down rides… you should’ve _seen_  the state of Alex’s hair afterwards, the gel had been washed and blown out; leaving his chocolate locks fluffier than ever, falling over his forehead.

Pink, light candyfloss represented Alex’s current appearance perfectly sweet, fluffy and rosy. Miles smiled to himself when they sat on the wall beside the doughnut vans, Alex with the pink candyfloss stick in one hand and a vivid red slushie in the other, Miles with blue cotton candy. Too engrossed in the sweet, sugary food, Alex never noticed Miles watching him, grinning over the look in his wide-blown eyes (Alex was way too easy to get overwhelmed by sugar intake, just one sugar glazed doughnut and he’d be buzzing), Miles loved that, how when Alex got excited or filled with adrenaline, his eyes would glitter to a crazy amount… usually the same look he’d get in his eyes after they’d made out. Maybe it was the small age gap, maybe it was just Alex’s innocent nature, maybe it was just his uncanny resemblance of a baby doe at times, but Miles always felt a need to nurture Alex, almost a mothering protectiveness. He was happy enough to take a break for a while, inhaling the intensely sweet air emanating from the truck and watching the kids and other bunking-off teens run around the park, laughing without a care.

“We should probably start on the rides at the back before we need to go, it’s getting late,” Miles read the time on his phone, they’d already covered the more interesting, smaller rides in the main area of the park, Alex had already dried off (his hair all glossy and poofy from the unplanned soaking) and Miles had vowed not to go on any more rides that spun, not after Alex begged him to go on the waltzers that whipped round each other. Still, it was worth seeing Alex laugh so Miles couldn’t care less.

“Okay, can we go on just one more spinning ride? Just while I wait for my slushie to go down before we get thrown upside down and I vomit red everywhere,” Alex spoke much quicker and louder when he had sugar too.

“Oh go on then, since it’s your birthday,” Miles prepared for the worst, expecting something lethal in his current state, but no, just minutes later and both boys were sat on the back of carved horses, slowly bobbing up and down on the old traditional carousel. “I will say, this isn’t what I expected,” Miles admitted, not sure how they ended up there. Alex on the back of a skinny, golden brown horse with a red saddle and dark, wavy mane, Miles’ horse was white with black splodges, it’s plaited mane tied with gold like his saddle that was studded around the edges. The carousel was empty besides from them and a toddler sat on his mother’s knee on the other side of the ride. “Hey Alex, come over here.”

“Can’t leave the horse once the ride’s in motion,” Alex read from the sign “Miles,” he added for more effect, hard to come across as sassy (or anything close to that) when you’re a 6th former on a carousel.

“Oh, please, she’s not even watching,” Miles nodded to the person in the booth with large headphones on, they didn’t even check for wristbands when the two got on. “I’ll even let you name my horse.”

“But mine will feel betrayed!” Alex’s big eyes were hard to argue with, Miles couldn’t help but laugh.

“An eighteen year old getting clingy over a fake horse? Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Hey, sush, he does have ears, you know,” Alex put his hands over the wooden ears sticking out through it’s mane, grinning at Miles’ exasperation. “Alright, let me discuss,” the boy a little too hyper on excess energy pretended to converse with the emotionless horse, eventually he slid off it’s back and began to wobble over to Miles’, the carousel still going round.

“So? What did he say?”

“Miles, don’t patronise me… horses can’t talk, silly,” Alex shook his head, tutting. Miles sat with a look of confusion on his face.

“Well then how did-?”

“Shh, just let me on the horse,” Miles shuffled forward so Alex could squeeze on to the left over room on the saddle, Miles was thin as a stick anyway so he didn’t need much space.

Constantly rotating, the carousel took the two round, Alex snaking his arms around Miles’ waist, pushed right up against him because if he wasn't then he’d be on the floor. Although resting his head on Miles’ back wasn’t necessary for his safety, he did that was just for comfort.

“How long are we gonna spend on this?”

“Dunno. You’re comfy so I don’t mind,” Alex mumbled, his cheek squished against Miles back so it warped his voice.

“I don’t think it actually stops… she’s not paying attention,” the headphoned worker in the booth was flicking through a magazine. “Let’s jump off before they shut down the Booster,” Miles began to shuffle, Alex wasn’t so fast to follow after. “You’re not _stalling_ are you, Al? You’re not _scared_?” he said, playfully taunting him.

“Shush, no, course not. I’m just thanking Lancelot for taking double the weight.”

“Lancelot?”

“The bloody horse.”

Right at the far end of the park, where the Booster waited for the boys, were lines of portable toilets. A perfect chance for Alex to stall again. Miles let him do whatever it was that he was doing while he waited outside, looking up the the ride that was metres above him, straining his neck just to see the top. The line was relatively short so there was no need for the fast track passes, plus, Miles thought it would be best to drag out the time between waiting and getting on as far as possible.

They’d spent so long on all the other roller coasters, rides and stalls that the sun was beginning to set, and since it was still winter, the skies had begun to darken much earlier. Still, it wasn’t time wasted in the little haunted house rides where Alex got to grip onto Miles at every jump scare, or in the house of jokes with the warped maze of mirrors that made you fat, short, skinny or tall… Miles having a bit too much fun with the mirror that emphasised his arse. “Look Al, if you squat then it gives you boobs,” Miles grinned, demonstrating what he meant until Alex was almost on the floor laughing. They’d taken a rest on the ‘Love Tunnel’ ride after almost killing each other from reckless driving on the dodgems, the ‘Love Tunnel’ as sickly sweet as you’d think, tiny little dinghies that floated around a pink-lighted water-filled tunnel whilst some typical ‘lift music’ played before the dinghy took the passengers into a blacked out tunnel where Miles took the opportunity to kiss the back of Alex’s hand and up his arm, the boy happily resting against his boyfriends stomach.

Back in the line for the Booster, Miles was joined by Alex next in line for the ride, the group before them were just beginning to clamber off.

“Ohh, my legs feel all weird,” one of the older girls stumbled.

“Like running for ages and stopping all of a sudden.. oof.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd apologise for this being 5 months late but, I got nothin'.

“You lot up next then?” the beefy faced man in a large black polo shirt that showed his hefty arms covered in tattoos stood beside the seats of the ride, talking to Miles and Alex.

“Yup!” Miles jumped up onto the platform, bringing Alex along after him and then the two more people that followed behind them.

“You might want to take your shoes off lads, some people say it pulls on yer ankles a bit,” Miles left his shoes reluctantly, the rest in the pile were worn out, rip-off converse.

The seats of the ride were back to back, two people sat facing the park, the other two facing out over the wall of the park and onto the town. Our boys took the seats facing the ferris wheel, the other two settled for what was left over.

“Keep yer hands wherever you think they’ll be safe, you know that though, you lot don’t look like idiots. Ehm, I can’t stop the ride once it’s in motion so just keep that in mind, long hair would be better tied back, necklaces taken off too… I think I’ve covered everything,” he sniffed “You ready?”

“Mmm,” none of the voices sounded particularly sure of what they’d gotten themselves into.

“You lot’ve come at a good time too, get to watch the sunset and all,” the big man gave what would be a toothy smile if he had any left, his stomach wobbling as he sat himself quite forcefully into the seat of the operator. “Watch yer arms, I’m putting the bars down.”

The people did as told while the bars between their legs and shoulders and waists began to tighten. Miles felt Alex wince and so he reached for his hand, trying to stifle the grin of excitement on his face for a look of sympathy.

“Y’alright?”

“Yep. I’m not going to throw up.”

“You won’t throw up.”

“I know. I said I’m not going to throw up.”

Bulbs on the ride started to flash as it began to move, slowly rising up, making the gap between their feet grow further and further. People turned to ants and buildings shrunk to tiny doll’s houses, cars became matchbox sized and trees to tiny toothpicks. Alex swung his feet, watching the world go by beneath him. There was a surreal feeling of complete stillness and silence, the three people around him all holding their breaths, awaiting the drop that was several feet below them, the ride still traveling up. There were no noises. There was no wind. No feeling apart from suspense that everyone shared, no one knew when the drop was coming, they just knew it was coming soon. Miles had one hand on the bar under his armpit and the other hand with his fingers between Alex’s that had started to go clammy.

“Well, this has definitely been the height of my evening.”

“Miles….” Alex left the silence to say ‘shut up’ for him, trying not to give his boyfriend the success of making him laugh but the light headedness made that hard to achieve.

“You should appreciate my jokes,” he said, looking over the horizon, Miles played it off cool but his knuckles were white and he was gripping Alex quite firmly.

“I will when I’m not several hundred feet in the air about to plummet to the ground,” Alex swung his legs further than before, thankful now that he did take his shoes off, it felt like there was a heavy weight pulling him down by his feet, tugging on his ankles.

“Oh, look, there’s a hot dog stand over there, we ca-”

“Miles,” Alex stopped him again “You’re good at a lot of things but ruining the immersion isn’t one of your useful talents."

“I could hum Carmina Burana to bring it back.”

“I’m going to piss myself.”

Faster, the lights flashed down the sides of the tower once the seats finally reached the top, giving a better view of the purple sunset dusting an orange glow over all the buildings in the horizon. Every passengers body shook when the seats jolted, one of the girls sat against Alex’s back whimpered.

“Oh no, I hate it when they do this, leave you suspended thinking that the ride is brok--”

Her sentence was cut short by the gush of freezing air that attacked them from beneath, blocking out the screams by it’s power, knotting hair and making tears run up past their temples. The ground came closer at a terrifyingly fast pace, Alex couldn’t look down from the force of the drop, his stomach twisting too.

The man operating the ride was sat back, happily listening to the screams and laughs, moving the seats up and down and up and down again with a lever by his side.

Miles screwed his eyes shut, letting out all the built up suspense in the form of cheers, his lungs looking for air that made him giddy. Alex took the other approach and held his breath, scared that exhaling would somehow make things worse. His hair was already free from the gel and in a fluffed up mess, and that was _before_ being shook up and down at intense heights and speeds.

Once the ride had come to an end, gently letting the four riders back down to Earth, Alex felt all kinds of out of place… his head felt like it was still at the top of the tower, in the clouds, with his legs still dangling over the edge, leaving him with a wobbly feeling  like after failing to transition from sea legs back to land.

“Watch yer hands,” the operator bloke said before pressing a button to let the bars move away, freeing the people on board. Miles pushed himself off first, holding his hand out for Alex who delicately stepped off.

“You alright?” Miles asked, his eyes alight with energy, the tears still blown across the side of his face “You look a bit…” he gestured to Alex’s hair “Wild.”

“Yeah, I just feel like I’m gonna fall over,” Alex ran his hand through the coffee brown mess of hair, closing his eyes to try and balance out the floating headache.

“Will you manage to walk with me or do I need to carry you?” Miles giggled.

“I don’t know… I might just faint,” Alex joked, toying with the thought.

“I can carry you for as far as I can manage,” he blinked slowly, wobbling a little too.

“I’m not putting my life in your hands.”

After struggling to pull shoes back on, the two began the walk out of the park, Alex constantly getting distracted by stalls off fluffy teddy bears, colourful lollipops and flashing light sabers.

“Al, you’re like a magpie in a jewelers… come on!” Miles desperately tried to get Alex to follow after him, realising that he had been talking to himself since he’d started walking and Alex stopped at a stall.

“They’re so fluffy though,” he whispered, looking at the giant stuffed lions hung along the back of the darts stand. Miles sighed and rummaged around for a pound.

“Here, take this and knock yourself out, babe,” he smiled at the giggle Alex gave with a quick kiss to his cheek.

No one but the two boys were at the stall, not counting the woman running it, but she wasn’t really all there… too busy on the phone with someone who she clearly didn’t like. Alex took this chance to try and show off how good he was at darts, convinced that he could do it without even looking, although before he could even try Miles told him it wasn’t a very good idea since he would probably end up stabbing someone. Surprisingly, after two attempts he hit right in the bulls eye, resulting in a smug grin and a giant lion in Alex’s arms.

Thankfully the stuffed lion teddy kept Alex entertained for the time it took to walk out of the park and down two roads.

“Wait. Where are we going? The taxis are back there aren’t they?” He asked a good twenty minutes later.

“Yeah but we don’t need a taxi, I’m taking you somewhere else,” Miles fed his fingers between Alex’s, the ones that weren’t clutching onto the mane of the giant lion he’d been lugging around. Alex thought all the ‘guess where we’re going’ games had come to an end for today, but apparently not. Still, he happily walked with Miles in the indigo lit streets while resting his head on his shoulder, unknowingly tickling Miles’ neck with his hair.

After walking past several starlight allies, Miles turned to walk up the stairs into an old apartment block with two flats inside.

“Miles? what're you doing?” Alex stayed at the bottom of the steps, holding onto the lion for warmth now that Miles had left to go and stand next to the door.

“Come up,” the head boy pulled out some keys from his jacket pocket.

“Who’s flat is this?” Alex said a little more wary as he skipped up the cement steps, not really sure why Miles was breaking into a strangers flat.

“Gherkin’s.”

“So were it his keys that you were getting at the Deli?”

“Yeah, he’s out visiting his girlfriend’s parents, so I asked if we could borrow his flat since he lives so close to the park, he was cool with it and said it’s his birthday gift to you. The other flat is still up for rent so we’ve practically got a full apartment to ourselves… just not access to all the rooms,” Miles fiddled with the keys, twisting open the lock and leaving it open for Alex to follow him inside.

The flat on the first floor was blacked out, Miles began to walk up the wooden, creaky stairs to the right, letting Alex tag along. Another door with another set of keys blocked them from entering, Miles fiddled with the lock again, Alex felt a yawn stir in his lungs, his mouth falling open while the air around him inflated his chest, his nose wrinkling and eyes screwing shut in the action.

“Don’t yawn, you’ll set me off,” Miles walked through the now open door, trying to ignore the thought of yawning, otherwise he’d be yawning all night.

Gherkin’s flat was quite bare, although most flats like this were due to the landlord not wanting people renting rooms out to modify too much, no repainting the cream walls, no hanging things up on said walls (besides from the cheap framed art from the charity shops that came with the place), no new furniture if it’s bigger than the given sofas, no electronical devices if they haven’t been checked… you get the gist. There was no wall separating the small kitchen from the living room, just two small bedrooms, a store room and a bathroom.

They walked in and kicked off shoes, Miles chucked his jacket over the back of the brown sofa and crouched at one of the cupboards in the kitchen.

“Want some?” he said to Alex after looking through the contents, swaying a bottle of red wine.

“Is that not Gherkin’s?” Alex threw his blazer over the top of Miles’ jacket, taking the scoff that came from Miles’ direction as a ‘no’.

“D’you think Gherkin is the red wine type? Nah, he’s more Fosters and Budweiser. I went out and bought this earlier, I had to… test a few, make sure it were the right one, after all, _La vie est trop courte pour boire du mauvais vin_ ,” Alex hummed in sarcastic agreement, joining him in the small kitchen while he found some wine glasses.

There was something so happily domestic about temporarily sharing the small flat with his boyfriend, watching the deep red liquid swish around the glass that Miles was carefully pouring, the streetlamp outside shining gently through the dark window, the clicking of the cheap heating and boilers... it all made time slow down for a second after the rush of the theme park, giving Alex the chance to imagine, just for a second, what adulthood could be like.

“Shall we see what crap’s on telly?” Miles cut through Alex’s daydream, walking over the cheap tiled floor to hand over his glass of red.

“Yeah,” the musky smell of the flat reminded Alex of the cheap hotels his parents used to take him to when they went on summer holidays to the seaside when he was a kid, when he was happy enough to play with his toys along the chipped windowsill, watching the waves roll up and tumble back down the beach adjacent to the hotel windows.

And now, being snuggled up in Miles’ arms, melting into the soft, brown sofa while nursing a glass of red wine as Miles flicked through late night TV shows made Alex’s thoughts of playing Happy Families all the more vivid. As he spoke, vibrations waved through Miles’ chest that Alex was resting on.

“Live at the Apollo, Come Dine With Me, Teleshopping, Teleshopping again, Parliament, Simpsons, 8 Out Of 10 Cats… what d’you want on?”

“Don’t mind,” Alex was happy enough to have the TV just as background noise for his fantasies. His eye caught the open bathroom door from across the room, Gherkin’s bathrobe hung on a hook on the back of the white door. That sight alone lead to mental images of Miles emerging from the shower on a Sunday morning, hair dripping onto the fluffy gown while Alex would be eating breakfast and staring out the window over the street, watching the neighbourhood begin to rise, Miles reading the paper over a cup of coffee…

“Are you alright? You’ve got your thinking face on,” Miles sipped from his drink, the alcohol sticking to the sides of the glass for a quick moment.

“Mmm-hmm,” the english student propped himself up again, taking a mouthful of his own wine that was warming a little from his hands. Miles was sat, snug in the corner, his right leg resting over the top of his left, one hand holding his drink while his other arm lay across the top of the pillows beside him. The boys held eye contact for the duration of some random advertisement on the Tv behind Alex, two deep chocolate eyes looking into the swirls of each other. Alex caught Miles swallow, bringing attention to his throat that was lacking some colour… Alex thought.

“Come, sit,” Miles’ voice was quieter, lower, he patted his knees and let Alex moved closer once he’d put his drink at a safe distance, if Gherkin was going to kill him for anything it’d be getting stains on his carpet.

Alex knelt with his knees either side of Miles’ thighs, resting his wrists on the back of the sofa. The sugar, wine and general feeling of adoration of this moment, this place, the idea of things being the way he’d imagined, all added to the look in his eye as he pressed his lips against the warm, soft skin of Miles’ neck.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, at the very start of this train wreck, I had an angsty bit all planned out and stuff and I though "yeah, this'll be gr8 to write,'' but now, 50,000 bloody words later, Idk if I'm feeling it...I think I could either:  
> •Not write it at all  
> •Write a shorter version which would probably be in less depth (when I say short, I mean it's still gonna take me 3 years to write bc I've lost all interest but it'll be shorter meaning not last as long)  
> •Write the version I was planning all along  
> •Give up  
> •Just end this already  
> •Open a different titled fic so then I don't have to look at the word count that's always growing: reminding me how much of a life I don't have  
> •I'm just reminding you that giving up is still an option btw  
> •Idk man  
> •idk  
> ((if you want, comment here or inbox me @black-eye-friday.tumblr.com))


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WoAhhHhH it's been, like, two months.
> 
> ((Thank you so much for leaving comments/replies on the last chapter to those who did. Unfortunately I'm still a lazy-ass, indecisive, over-thinker and I have no idea where I'm even going to begin taking this))
> 
> I postponed this so much because this chapter is REALLY not my forte, as you'll see after reading this. I was dreading this bit and so hopefully you'll think 'ohhhh, so THIS is why this fic got semi-abandoned' when you finish this bit...

The little TV played to itself as Miles untucked Alex’s shirt so he could fiddle with it, tipping his head back so Alex could cover as much skin as he wished before Miles pulled back so he could take his turn to kiss Alex’s lips, pushing his hair back so his widow’s peak showed. Alex tucked his hands in the gap between Miles’ shoulders and jaw line, flush against his neck, closing his eyes whilst Miles’ tongue pushed through his lips. Miles’ hands began to venture under Alex’s shirt, his warm fingertips sliding across Alex’s hips. As Alex began to push back with his lips, Miles moved his hands from Alex’s sides and pressed his hand against his stomach instead, hinting to Alex what he was trying to do. Alex caught on and shifted off his lap, lying his back against the soft pillows on the sofa and pulling Miles down with him.

Hums from the two boys mixed with the sounds of passing cars, the sound of them kissing over powering the TV. Alex’s hands felt along Miles back as he leant over him, his knees beside Alex’s legs as he kissed across his cheeks. Miles’ shirt restricted him a lot, Alex grunted when his hands failed to reach the bottom of Miles’ shoulder blades, no matter how far he arched his back to try and move his hands, he couldn’t grasp any further.

“M, Mi,” Alex broke away, pushing himself deeper into the cushions of the sofa so he could reach the top button of what was stopping him. “Mind?”

“No. please, carry on,” his voice was hushed and low, sparking a smirk. Alex fumbled with the buttons, distracted by Miles kissing where his quiff would be if his hair wasn’t such a mess. Miles loved his widows peak… he didn’t even need to tell him that.

After every button that Alex unpicked, he gazed over the uncovered chest. He’d seen Miles shirtless a lot of times before but never really this close. The head boy tried not to squirm at the feeling of Alex’s delicate fingers dancing lightly over his chest, but that was difficult to do so he continued kissing his forehead with a smile.

Miles' shirt was tossed aside, somewhere behind the sofa that both him and Alex were lying on.

"It's your birthday, not mine," Miles couldn't help but laugh once Alex started kissing his chest with a hunger that seemed to have been hiding inside him. Miles tried to find the buttons on the others white school shirt, struggling to find his way when Alex was so close to him, beneath him. The head boy's chest was vaguely flecked with pale patches of pink by the time he'd gotten all of Alex's buttons undone. "Pull your arms out," Miles gave in after trying to push the sleeves back. Alex shuffled around on the sofa, shaking off his shirt and discarding it somewhere beside Miles', letting his boyfriend take his turn, enjoying the feeling of Miles hands by his sides and his lips on his stomach.

Steady ticks from the cheap clock in the kitchen kept time for their lips against skin, tick, kiss, tock, kiss, tick, kiss, tock...

At each 'click' of the heater, Miles' fingers pressed into Alex's hips a little firmer, at every droning sound of the cars passing by he would move up to Alex's collar bones, down again as the cars drove round the corner of the road outside in the darkening evening.

Miles lifted himself up from over Alex and leant back to get his wine glass, still sitting on Alex’s knees as he tipped back his head along with the glass, letting the leftover drink wash down his throat.

“I hope you don’t have to get tipsy to make out with me,” the english student felt the cold air replace the heat from Miles’ body that previously covered his chest, he laughed at Miles’ look.

“Oh please, I get tipsy _from_ making out with you,” he laughed “It’s good stuff… M-that reminds me, I’ve still never seen you drunk.”

“And I doubt you will,” he said, not believing even his own words, teasing.

“ _Act_ drunk with me then,’ Miles gave a smile (the asymmetrical one that Alex likes) “Taste the wine with me too,” he whispered, closing the space between their lips before letting his wine-flavoured-tongue do just that.

Alex struggled to keep up with Miles when he was lying across the sofa, he ran his fingers through Miles chocolate hair, sending little tingles from the top of Miles' neck all the way down to the dip in his back. Down his sides is where Alex's hands travelled to next, his knuckles brushing against his pale skin until they hit the top of his trousers where his fingers began to take over, feeling around the unused belt loops until he found the little zip at the front. Gently he pulled down, the steady metallic noise of the opening zip coming to an end once the track ran out. Alex took his hands back round to where the label of Miles dress trousers were, holding the fabric around the back to pull them down, just slightly, just slowly.

“You still undressing me?” Miles’ smile was hidden in the crook of Alex’s neck.

“Maybe.”

“Socks are always the awkward bit.”

“You just had to mention that, didn’t you?” Alex laughed slightly as he shook his head, bumping Miles’ lips into his neck.

"It's true though, name one person that you reckon could take socks off without ruining the mood."

"Well if anyone could do it, it'd be you," Alex sat with his back against the arm rest while Miles pulled off his trousers, managing to tug off his socks in the action. "Told you, that was alright."

"Yeah but we'd discussed it so that don't count, plus I had the advantage of tr--" Alex shut Miles up with a kiss to his lips and a hand on his thigh. The head boy put his fingers round the back of Alex's neck, leaving his thumb on his jaw. "Do I talk too much?"

"Yes," he said, deadpan. Alex turned his attention from Miles' lips to his eyes that were shining with a dark glimmer. "I just can't shut you up," a grin flickered.

"I like seeing you try," Miles' accent was thicker than before, he sat in just his boxers with Alex's wine in his hand, at some point he'd forgotten that he'd already finished his. Alex didn't mind at all, in fact he was thankful for it, getting to watch Miles’ throat as he drank, remembering the first time he left a mark there.

Miles felt the doe eye's burning gaze on his neck, he drank slow, closing his eyes so the honey coloured light blacked out.

“Bet you do,”Alex said, his eyes still fixated on Miled. After leaving his hair to grow so many months, strands of Alex’s hair began to fall away from the rest to tumble down over his forehead, he brushed the hair away as best he could, it was in a worse state after been blown about and messed with by Miles.

“If you’re gonna kiss me, kiss me. I can feel your eyes on me and it’s driving me just a little insane,” Miles left the empty wine glass on the coffee table and resumed his space back over Alex “Or am I gonna have to kiss you first?”

Alex didn’t reply, he just grinned and put a hand on Miles’ stomach, his boyfriend got tired of waiting and went to kiss the spot that he’d found that made Alex melt the most. Sure enough, as he licked and began to bite over the patch of marked skin beneath his jaw, Alex’s eyes fluttered shut and he hummed a quiet sound of bliss.

Alex held on to Miles’ back to keep himself on the sofa, it was barely big enough to let one person lie down, let alone another.

“Mi,” Alex forced out between two little mumbles or moans.

“Yeah?” Miles asked without paying too much attention, too absorbed in his boyfriend.

“Let’s get off the sofa,” Miles guided Alex by his hands on the others hips, leading him so they didn’t have to separate. The two made it halfway across the little living room before Miles pushed Alex up against one of the plain walls, one hand with his fingers interwoven with Alex’s and the other on the cold, hard wall as he kissed Alex full on the lips.

Slowly, they began to reach a door that Alex felt for the handle of, pushing it down and letting the door fall open. Behind the two, in the darkness from behind the door, was now a pure white room (besides from the navy carpet and curtains), only white walls with a painting of a cornflower field on the left, a single bed to the right with white pillows and a white duvet and a light with a dimming switch.

Alex split himself away from Miles, keeping his right hand linked with Miles’ left as he smirked at the disheartened look on Miles’ face from the sudden end of kisses. Burgundy orange light filled the room once Alex turned on the light, he twisted the switch so you could only just see the outline of the furniture in it’s hazy glow.

Miles let his free hand slide across Alex’s bare stomach to the side of his waist, gently pushing him away from the light and onto the bed.

“Ah!” Alex inhaled sharply “It’s cold, it’s cold. The sheets are freezing, Mi.”

“They’ll warm,” he laughed, kissing a line down from between Alex’s collarbones to beneath his belly button, working along his hips, soon beginning to run out of skin to cover. Alex noticed that, he pulled his knees up while Miles moved away, letting Alex pull his trousers off to chuck them over the empty bed side table. Miles took advantage of the newly uncovered skin and kissed up Alex’s thigh, his thumbs pressing over Alex’s hipbones that jutted out, his fingers digging into the flesh of his back.

Alex's toes curled as he tried to hold in his breath, his fingers folding creases into the pristine sheets.

"Vous êtes incroyablement belle, mon trésor," That is probably what Miles said, Alex couldn't really hear what he was trying to say since he was too indulged in the moment to focus.

Miles kept kissing.

Alex kept mumbling.

Gradually they’d ended up under the sheets, clothless for the first time. Miles kept asking questions between leaving tiny little bite marks, taking everything at his boyfriend’s pace, he knew Alex was self conscious. After all, having to turn the lights down low until it was just a dim glow confirmed that.

"You alright?"

"Yeah."

"You’re sure you're okay?"

"Mmm."

He kept going, kissing, touching, evoking a few helpless groans until Alex reached out to find his trousers on the bedside table, Miles stroked his finger along Alex's frame, following the slight dip of his back and curve along his side. The English student fumbled with his jeans to find the back pockets, looking for what Matt'd given him earlier that morning. All the lottery tickets fell onto the floor whilst he pulled out the purple foil packet.

"What're you doing Al?"

"Here," Alex felt for his boyfriend's hand "Matt gave it me," a little laugh came from the memory of Jamie's reaction.

"And you're positive?" Miles sat up, he brushed away the hair from the others forehead and took the condom from his grasp.

"If you want to, then... Yeah," Alex took his turn to dot kisses along Miles' jaw, distracting himself from thinking too much, repeating that it'll all be fine, in his head.

He was right too.

Moments later and the sheets were creased and pulled, all from Alex clutching onto them when his nails weren't digging into Miles' back, pursing his lips to keep in any moans that were desperate to escape as Miles pushed between his legs.

“Babe, no one’s in the other flat, remember?” he whispered with a smirk into Alex’s neck “It’s your birthday too,” he slowed to kiss Alex’s neck that had begun to sweat, making his back arch as he bit in a love bite whilst slowly, carefully, picking up his pace.

A string of wobbly-spoken profanities slipped from Alex’s mouth as he took his hands off Miles’ back to run them through his own hair. However long the time was between now and riding out orgasms felt like it didn’t exist, as if the loud ticks from the kitchen clock stopped all together, he couldn’t hear the TV or the boilers in the flat or anyone outside, over the sound of Miles’ moans that got lost with his own. His boyfriend gave the last rolls of his hips before exhaling as he tipped his head back, Alex felt the heat from his lower stomach flow through the rest of his body, making his head feel wonderful.

“Oh my god,” Alex wasn’t sure if those words came from himself or Miles, maybe by this point Miles was just the voice in his head.

Alex moved over once his breathing had started to come back down again, his heart rate was still as high as it was when he was waiting for the inevitable fall on the ‘Booster’, to be honest,  he’d been on a high all day…

Miles lay down and rubbed the back of his hand over his eye “Je t'adore, mon chéri,” his voice was a deep, hushed whisper that made more waves ripple down Alex’s veins.

“Embrasse-moi,” he replied, in the same tone. Alex new little french but he’d picked up on a few lines from listening to the words his boyfriends would say out of the blue, he planned on saving what he knew in hopes to impress him.

Miles’ arm pushed under Alex’s shoulders, he turned to face Miles who then kissed him on the nose, a little smile under his heavy eyes.

“You’re beautiful,” the head boy thought, automatically saying it out loud as he stroked a faint finger across Alex’s jaw.

The english student hummed in an agreeing sort of tone, not meaning for it to be humorous nor serious to himself, he said it because Miles spoke for the voice in his head, stating a point. And Alex agreed with that point as he looked at his boyfriend who’d just given him the best birthday that he can remember, who’s eyes were glimmering despite the dull light, his lips pink and his neck looking like a canvas covered in warm watercolours.

Miles was completely unaware of Alex’s thoughts, he didn’t know what was being said about him in his head. He had a rough idea of what Alex thoughts would sometimes consist of, that was after he accidentally stumbled upon his lyrics book, but other times he liked to think that he could see Alex’s thoughts flicker behind his rich, doe eyes. But for now all he wanted to do was pull him close, sharing warmth, breathing in his hair, letting Alex rest his head and slowly drift off into slumber. He knew everything Alex was going to say anyway, Alex knew that also, that left them both more than content to let the rest of the night speak for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, that... that happened. Softest, vaguest, lamest and quickest version of these events that you'll ever read :))


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (just emptying the document from like 7 months ago don't mind me) i've forgotten how i used to do this but yeah idk if it makes sense from whatever i last posted, this is the last bit from whenever I was posting that I never got round to putting out. It's one of my Bad Habits.

When Alex slept, what was happening around him tended to incorporate itself into his dreams. In his head he could see himself asleep (which felt very weird, being an intruder in his own world) wrapped up in clean white sheets round his bare arms. It was then that Alex furrowed his brow in his sleep confused as to where Miles was - he couldn't tell if he did it in his dream or if it was the physical version of him lying unresponsive to the world that frowned - he wasn’t really sure since the line between the two states of consciousness had grown very, very vague.

His body refused to play along and feel around the bed for him, leaving Alex’s mind to make do with his other senses in the hopes that it would gently wake him. 

There was no notable taste left lingering in his mouth, no noise besides from the hushed morning birds or random cars bumbling past, and nothing to see besides from the dark, dull red behind his eyelids from the morning light outside trying to wake him.

It wasn't until a sweet smell crept into the room, gently stirring Alex's sleeping body after swiftly slinking in through the slight crack in the door. A sound from the living room joined with the ghosting scent that helped bring Alex back from Dreamsville, his eyes burning as they slowly opened to see the late sunrise from window across the room.

Once Alex had completed his usual morning routine of 'clicking' and stretching his back into place, the unnamed smell grew stronger and he could just hear Miles very quietly talking. The space on the mattress beside Alex still felt faintly warm, he probably hadn't been gone long.

Pants and trousers were still left across the midnight blue carpet, bringing a gentle smile across Alex's face. He got dressed in the clothes he could find and slowly pushed the bedroom door back, not seeing Miles until he walked into the living room to find him at the kitchen counter with a brown paper bag and two paper cups.

"Oh, hey babe," Miles smiled, putting his drink down to walk over to Alex who still had wild hair from the day before. "Sorry I didn't get back earlier, I was kinda hoping you'd still be asleep."

"Why?" Alex asked after accepting Miles' good morning kiss, keeping him stood beside him by laying a hand on his waist.

"So I could watch you sleep," Miles said, deadpan with a straight expression. "Nah, I mean so you didn't have to wake up alone."  
Alex pushed himself up a little so he could reach Miles' temple, pressing another kiss before Miles’ arms - still cold from outside - wrapped themselves around the ever so slightly smaller boy.  
"I bought croissants and coffee," Miles pulled Alex over to the breakfast bar and pulled out two plates from the cupboard and a jar of strawberry jam. "Although, part of me wants wine."  
"Despite the fact that it's only half past ten in the morning?"  
"Despite the fact that it's only half past ten in the morning."  
Miles cut open the croissants while Alex began to fiddle with Gherkin's cheap kitchen radio, static sounding through the small speakers until he managed to tune into a station, flicking through them until he paused on a late morning radio. Playing Jack Johnson and the like.  
"What's Gherkin like when it comes to smoking?" Alex felt around his pockets for his missing cigarettes.  
"Not sure, you might wanna smoke out the window, just in case. Here, have one of mine," Miles held open his packet, letting Alex take one to be lit.   
The windows in the little kitchen space didn't open very far, it was worn and wobbly in its track, scaring Alex with the thought of it shutting on him. Miles finished spreading jam onto the pastries while Alex blew smoke into the cool breeze. Warm hands placed themselves over the back pockets of Alex's black trousers, Miles sliding over to press a kiss into his shoulder, one hand still on Alex.  
"How does it feel, finally being eighteen?" The unavoidable question coming from the head boy. Someone had to ask it.  
"If every Friday night is like yesterday's," Alex let out a breath of smoke "then this is the age that I want to be forever."  
Miles didn't say anything, he just smiled, pulling out a cigarette of his own after stretching out his back.  
Flakes of golden brown pastry coated the kitchen counter, two empty coffee cups and a half filled small glass of wine sat in place of where the two were sat before they went to occupy the shower.  
As expected, Gherkin's shower was tiny, that didn't really phase the boys when they stumbled in. Miles had turned the shower on after they both stepped on the shower tray, glass door shutting them into a transparent cuboid, he didn't think about the fact that the water would come out freezing. Alex yelped when it hit his warm back, automatically jumping towards Miles in the corner that was almost free from the cold spray, just backsplashing on their feet.  
"I hate you!" Alex shivered through a smile at Miles’ laugh, rubbing the goosebumps up his arms before huddling beside Miles to warm up along with the water.  
Gherkin had nothing but some pungent shampoo, reeking of the typical teenagers Lynx or Axe deodorant spray. Miles laughed from the sheer power of the gel, instantly filling the whole shower cubicle with its fake ‘green apple’ scent as he massaged Alex's back.  
"I can taste the soap just by breathing!" Alex tried to muffle his coughing as he rubbed Miles' arms with the shower gel, pressing and pushing up his forearms, all the way to his biceps (that Miles made a point of flexing).  
"We're gonna use up all the hot water in a minute," the head boy squirmed as Alex pressed his fingers sharply above Miles' hips, purposely jabbing pressure points to make him jump. Miles’ hand hit the shower head and sprayed water up on the ceiling and down the walls, Alex grinned until Miles pointed the shower head in the direction of Alex's face in payback, wiping the smirk right off.  
"Miles!" Alex jumped as a splash of freezing water washed over his chest "The hot water's gone!" A wave of giggles came from both boys "It's cold, it's cold! Stop!"  
"There's still hot water in the tank, I just turned the temperature down," Miles laughed, holding the shower head in his hand, pointing it to the ground so neither of them were got frozen.   
-  
Clicking came from the boiler again, heating up the flat once the boys sat down, wet haired and dressed just in pants and shirts (they'd both lost interest in getting dressed halfway through). Morning Telly consisted of chat shows so bad that they're good, morning news and a few kids shows. Most of the programmes were coming to an end - as was the morning - so cookery shows began to take over the TV, leaving Miles and Alex to sit together in the corner of the settee, waiting for hair to dry and Antiques Roadshow to end.   
Buzzing vibrated through the countertop once Miles' phone received a message.  
"It's Gherkin, he says that he's coming back in about twenty minutes," Miles looked up from his phone and glanced around the flat.  
"Is that our que to start cleaning up?"  
"Probably."  
Miles cleared the kitchen and sorted the bedroom while Alex took charge of the bathroom and living room. Together they managed to clear up fairly quickly, the flat returning to the way it looked before their stay. Miles had dressed and started writing on the back of a Burberry advertisement that he'd ripped out of a magazine. Alex finished dressing, back in his school uniform (that felt a bit weird to be wearing on a Saturday) and slunk over to his boyfriend.   
'Cheers for letting us stay, always appreciate it x' Miles scrawled across the back of the page, folding it in half and slipping a ten pound note in between.  
Alex searched for whatever money he'd left in his jeans, only finding a few coppers and a fifty pence.  
"Don't worry about it, this is your birthday present you know."  
"I could leave a lottery ticket," Alex held the five that Matt had given him "I get my pay for working next week anyway."  
Miles paid for the taxi back too but Alex insisted on giving him the only winning lottery ticket that he'd scratched off, revealing a winning of two pounds, making Miles chuckle at his offer.  
"Don't laugh at me," Alex said through a grin, it's difficult not to smile when Miles laughed. Contagious happiness or something.  
"You're just so sweet."  
"I feel bad when people spend money on me."   
-  
Denise handed Alex a letter once they got back to the school, he instantly recognised the handwriting on the front. Probably birthday money from his parents.  
"See, I told you I could've paid!"  
Miles shook his head with a grin as wrapped his arm around Alex's waist, walking up the stairs with him to Matt and Jamie's dorm room, letting Alex get changed while his phone rang. Miles’ phone had been buzzing when they were in the taxi too but he’d paid no attention to it, only now rolling his eyes and accepting the call.  
-  
By Monday, January was back to its normal ways: cold, dreary and wet. January was the month where you're either upbeat, ready for the new year with a fresh start whatever, or you're following the moods of the weather. You can be naïve or a wet blanket.  
Dannii seemed much more at rest after her break up, Jamie had his eyes on a blonde girl that Alex often forgot the name of, Matt was still waiting for a text from the girl he'd met at the party and Nick had better things to do than worry about relationships, his words.  
That week was one of the slowest weeks to pass, Alex could only ever think about his birthday during class, how something so simple seemed so perfect to him, a cheap flat in the middle of England became a palace when he shared it with Miles.  
Perhaps that week felt slow because Miles didn't seem himself anymore, his mind was usually absent, much like how Alex used to be. That was only weird because Miles was never much of a deep thinker but recently he'd been lost in his head a lot.  
"Miles?" Alex asked that evening when he was resting in the head boy’s arms where they lay on the bed together.  
"Yeah? What's up, babe?"  
"I was going t' ask you the same thing," Miles' silence sounded his confusion "You've been really quiet lately."   
He felt the other boy's breathing become less relaxed as he asked what was up.  
“Nothing, I’m just thinking about the new year,” Miles sighed, smiling gently at the sympathetic kiss Alex pressed onto the back of his hand.  
His reply didn’t put Alex’s wondering to rest - Miles knew that - but they let the conversation drop to be left to their own thoughts.


End file.
